Almost no contact with adult grandchildren

Eglantine, what a lovely analogy - ripples in a pond, I love it. My ma has occasionally had meet ups with just one of her adult GC, so will invite the Boy. Why don't you come over for supper, I would love to have you, will fix your favourite X (food does sort of work with him) or when my eldest is visiting, she will suggest they go and have a cuppa while they are in the area. With family far flung and, in my case, children of very different ages and interests, big family get togethers are few and far between. Christmas is the only one none of them ever miss, but then at the moment there are still no babies.

We don't see much of my eldest GD (20) now she's got her own place and lives with her boyfriend - they're 2 hours away from us and a couple of miles from her mum and dad. Both working so any get togethers we have are based on their flexibility. We met up with son, DIL and youngest GD (nearly 17) yesterday for lunch which was lovely but she will be off to 6th form college in Sept and probably won't want to be bothered with us that much. It's life - we all grow and move on from parents so it's inevitable GP become even further distanced. Sad but reality.

Eglantine21 I know exactly what you mean. As long as I know they are all ok I am fine with not always seeing DC and GC on a regular basis. They all lead busy lives, work perculiar hours and have things to catch up on due to both parents working full time so i think that any free time they do have is so presious i dont want to take it up with an unessesary visit just so I can say I see my family on a regular basis.

I am just happy they are getting on with their lives.

Sensible words Eglantine

It’s inevitable and right that we move from the centre to the periphery of the family as life goes on. I think of us as ripples in a pond spreading to the edge of family life. It will happen to your children and grandchildren too as their families grow.

It’s also a time of revolution in the world where life as a whole is changing and actual personal contact is less and less. I don’t like it much. I’d rather drive a hundred miles to see someone than talk on the phone!

Put them together and it’s no wonder that you feel a bit lost.

Truly though, I live my own life, doing the things I enjoy and look on my family as backup rather than central. I’d be devasted to lose any of them but they don’t fill the bulk of my time.

It’s different when family live close and the children are young, but all phases of life move on, and they are all in a new one. Us too, if we can look at it in that way. ?

quite possibly your son and wife rarely see their adult children, who are busy enjoying their own lives. Perhaps become a volunteer with a local charity, there may even be one that supplies families far from any support with volunteer grandparents.

The parents are usually the link between the adult GC and the grandparents. If your son and his wife are enjoying their freedom, and not interested in having family get- togethers, you might have to get used to this situation.

In my family, my AC only saw their grandparents very rarely since we all lived far away. Nobody thought this was unusual.

If your son and the grandchildren are not interested in changing this, I guess you have to accept things as they are. Let them know that you'd enjoy a met- up but don't make a martyr of yourself.