A young friend of mine and her husband are intending to adopt. They've been through all the training and have been accepted. That's great! However, one thing niggles with me. They've been told by their Social Worker that whatever child they adopt - as soon as they are old enough - will have to write to, or 'phone their "tummy-mummy" annually.
Firstly, I feel that this could be very upsetting for both the child and the adoptive parents. Potentially, all the child is going to get out of this is just more rejection, and a constant reminder that "tummy-mummy" didn't want him/her. And for the new parents, a constant, maybe painful, reminder that the child is not their natural child.
Secondly, would this be a legal commitment? Would Social Services be able to enforce this? After all, the child will be legally theirs by then, and if they don't want this birth family connection, why should they comply?
My thoughts are that this is a mad idea! Okay, when the child grows to adulthood, they may want to trace their biological parents ...? I get that. But I do feel that this yearly contact for young, adopted children would very much impinge on their settlement and future progress. What would they get out of it? Nothing but more hurt, in my opinion.
Lyndiloo Sat 23-Jun-18 02:06:06
stella1949 Sat 23-Jun-18 02:22:34
Lyndiloo Sat 23-Jun-18 04:06:48
silverlining48 Sat 23-Jun-18 06:54:04
alreadytaken Sat 23-Jun-18 07:37:37
Panache Sat 23-Jun-18 07:58:35
Iam64 Sat 23-Jun-18 08:43:59
sodapop Sat 23-Jun-18 08:55:47
Anniebach Sat 23-Jun-18 08:56:47
henetha Sat 23-Jun-18 09:24:06
bmacca Sat 23-Jun-18 09:51:09
Luckygirl Sat 23-Jun-18 09:56:57
Luckygirl Sat 23-Jun-18 09:57:14
BlueBelle Sat 23-Jun-18 10:06:52
grannyactivist Sat 23-Jun-18 11:58:02
Luckylegs9 Sat 23-Jun-18 18:33:54
sodapop Sat 23-Jun-18 20:15:25
Iam64 Sat 23-Jun-18 20:17:10
Anniebach Sat 23-Jun-18 20:27:41
Izabella Sat 23-Jun-18 21:18:42
Izabella Sat 23-Jun-18 21:19:31
Iam64 Sat 23-Jun-18 21:25:56
Eloethan Sat 23-Jun-18 21:48:25
GrandmaMoira Sat 23-Jun-18 21:48:41
Izabella Sat 23-Jun-18 21:51:20