Gransnet forums

Ask a gran


(35 Posts)
Hildagard Mon 25-Jun-18 11:03:12

My youngest DD is pregnant, hurrah. She had a miscarriage year before last which was very traumatic. She has two other children. The house that they live in is rented, landlord does nothing, very run down. We would like to help them get their own place, any Gran know the best way to help. I worry that if we do help, what if we spend on them the money which should be for our old age? Or is that selfish?

HAZBEEN Mon 25-Jun-18 11:53:48

No its not selfish Hildagard. We all want to help our children and I am in a similar situation, wanting to help my daughter with her living conditions but the thing is I havent the finances in place to do that.
Two things spring to mind. Firstly could you help with say the deposit on a better rented property rather than helping to buy? They might struggle with a mortgage themselves so renting a better home may be the way to go.
Secondly why not speak to the local council with regards to the landlord not doing repairs? They will be able to put pressure on him to fulfil his legal responsibilities. We did that with my daughters landlord and the lovely people at the council were great.
Good luck and congratulations to your daughter.

JenniferEccles Mon 25-Jun-18 12:08:51

It's very difficult for anyone on here to say what you should do Hildagard as only you know your financial situation.
However I can understand your desire to help your daughter if you can.

Of course, how much we need in old age is such a difficult question to answer, but if you are in a comfortable position, then by all means contribute towards the deposit, providing that by doing so doesn't impact too much on your own standard of living.

I'm sure you are pleased about the baby, but ultimately it was their decision to have a third child despite living in a run down rented property.

grannyactivist Mon 25-Jun-18 13:00:55

Perhaps you could encourage your daughter to investigate shared ownership Hildagard.

glammanana Mon 25-Jun-18 13:20:40

Hildagard Can your DD not apply to the local HA and become registered for one of their properties if her living conditions are bad she may be lucky.

Jalima1108 Mon 25-Jun-18 13:53:33

I would have thought that she stood a good chance of obtaining a HA property if she has two children, is pregnant with a third and is living in sub-standard housing now.
Is she on the list and has she applied for any?

Hildagard Mon 25-Jun-18 18:08:29

She was on the housing list for ten years and they removed her as she was ^adequently, housed! The boiler is on its last legs, the ceiling in the hallway is collapsing

HAZBEEN Mon 25-Jun-18 19:16:01

As I said previously get on to the local council. They have a department to ensure private landlords follow the law. With some councils this is part of the Enviromental Health Department others its the housing office. If in doubt contact CAB and they will point you in the right direction.

M0nica Mon 25-Jun-18 19:34:30

The laws governing landlords have been reviewed over recent years and things that were acceptable 5 years ago are not acceptable now. I do not see how a house can be described as adequate if the ceiling in the hall is collapsing.

Try again.

Could she and her DH approach local housing associations about a shared ownership property, if they cannot afford the mortgage or deposit on a market property?

Hildagard Tue 26-Jun-18 08:45:34

Thanks for your replies, unfortunately though they are now working , my daughters does two jobs. They got in to financial difficulties years ago when first DGD was born and have bad credit rating, and no way to save for a mortgage. Hence us thinking maybe we could help.

knickas63 Tue 26-Jun-18 08:54:24

Hi - Credit ratings can improve quite quickly, so help to buy or shared ownership may not be out of the question. You could also look at helping with the deposit for a better rented house? Definitly check out tenants rights. Private landlords charge the earth, usually more than mortgage payments! For that the houseing should be to a certain standard. It sounds as if theirs falls short. It is frustrating when people can afford to rent, and pay rent regularly, but are still considered a bad risk for a mortgage!

mabon1 Tue 26-Jun-18 10:29:08

you simply cannot live other people's lives for them. Be kind and generous, but dont leave yourself short.

GabriellaG Tue 26-Jun-18 10:32:06

At the very real risk of being shot down in flames, why have another child if the property they are renting is in such poor condition? Why not save for a deposit and buy OR move to a better area/property?
That would be much more sensible.

FarNorth Tue 26-Jun-18 10:41:53

No flames, GabriellaG, but it's a bit pointless you saying that.
People don't always want to halt all aspects of their lives until circumstances are perfect.

FarNorth Tue 26-Jun-18 10:44:39

Hildagard, definitely consult the council about getting their current house repaired.
And help them look for other rented property or part-ownership.

merlin Tue 26-Jun-18 10:45:36

I'm not sure which but there is a least one mortgage company where parents can provide the deposit but it is still their money and after a period of time is repaid to them. A mortgage advisor should be able to give you advice.

dorcas1950 Tue 26-Jun-18 10:50:15

Consider help to buy schemes and shared ownership schemes which could be the answer. Worth going online or checking with local estate agents. The amount paid in mortgage/rent is often less than rent in the private sector and there is opportunity to climb the housing ladder further.

GabriellaG Tue 26-Jun-18 10:52:48

It's ok then to carry on having children whilst living in accomodation where the 'ceiling is falling down' and the property is in a poor condition?
That's as bad if not worse than spending your money on fripperies whilst sleeping on the floor.

FarNorth Tue 26-Jun-18 10:57:24

It's not totally ok, GabriellaG, but as the OP's daughter is now pregnant there's not much point in criticising.
They have to deal with the current situation.

lollee Tue 26-Jun-18 11:03:39

I know i will get slated for saying this but i cannot understand having a third child if there were financial problems after first and cannot afford to do needed repairs. I appreciate landlord has obligations but most people would want to decorate. Do they want a home of their own, if so even more reason not to have a third child but hey....each to their own.

newnanny Tue 26-Jun-18 11:27:18

The situation is the OP's dd is pregnant. As she had a previous miscarriage she must want another child. If the boiler breaks the LL must get it repaired or replaced. Ask the LL to sort out the ceiling falling down tell him it is a safety hazard and unless sorted out will be reported to council. This sounds like a bad and lazy LL and maybe you could encourage your dd to move to a better rented property and assist her with the deposit if needed. I am a LL and would never expect people to live in a property I would not live in myself. The fact is that all repairs and even a replacement boilers can be written off against my tax bill so there is no advantage in not getting the work done, and it will keep the value in the property. LL's should maintain their property to a good standard and certainly never allow them to become a safety hazard. Any debt problems your dd had should have been taken off her credit record after six years. She may not realise this.

luluaugust Tue 26-Jun-18 12:07:57

First stop is a try at getting the Landlord to do what he should, why he should want a run down property goodness knows,others have described how. When the baby comes the Midwife and the Health Visitor are going to turn up and this might be an opportunity to get someone to take an interest. Whether you should lend or give money in this situation is debatable, hang on a bit and see what happens when baby is here, don't give anything you really can't afford, you will all regret it.

paperbackbutterfly Tue 26-Jun-18 12:27:13

If you have some savings you could use them as a deposit for a buy to let mortgage and let your DD pay you, as a tenant, to pay off the mortgage this would enable them to have a house without spending all your savings. The building society suggested I help my son in this way. As long as the rent will cover the repayments then your age and income is not taken into account (according to my building society). We didn't follow this option in the end but it's worth considering

SueDonim Tue 26-Jun-18 12:46:33

A friend has been in a similar situation with a rented home in bad condition. They put pressure on the LL to make repairs and found themselves served with an eviction notice despite being excellent tenants.

So be prepared for that happen. sad

Can your Dd go to letting agencies and see what else is available?

Hildagard Tue 26-Jun-18 15:09:49

Thank you for some of the lovely comments and positive advice. As for not having a third child, after the miscarriage.!? We nearly lost her and the whole family were devastated, this new baby is part of her healing process, mentally and physically. I have never had one and unless you have I don’t think you can put yourself in anyone else’s shoes.