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Family in crisis

(80 Posts)
annab275 Thu 05-Jul-18 13:26:26

My partner and I have been together for 25 years and he has been a great help to his ageing Mum, goes to see her every weekend, does jobs, takes her out etc. She is quite difficult and always finds faults and criticises him, for being too fat, too thin, too conservative etc. She has another son who rarely visits but to cut a long story short , he has been arrested and imprisoned. Organising prison visits has been pretty difficult as well as trying to sort out the brother's flat, letters, benefits etc etc. The son who is in prison asked my OH to look after a bag of money which was in the flat and take it back to our house. However, months ago before all this, he had asked his mum to take care of it, but never gave it to her. Already the cost of dealing with this imprisonment is taking its toll, (buying clothes, extra petrol to get to the prison, organising storage for his belongings etc). The Mum is quite forgetful and forgot that my OH had given her a key to the flat (so she could go around and tidy up as she wanted), and insisted that the money should be kept at her house, but my OH said no, as he was dealing with all the letters etc. visiting and so on. Anyway they had a bust up over the phone, this morning, and he said he was fed up with her ordering him about, trying to control everything, and he has put his foot down. Meanwhile Mum in law accuses him of being pig headed and stubborn etc. Sorry to go on but my view is that since my OH has to help her
with banking, internet, and this sort of stuff already, it doesn't make sense that she should be entrusted with such a large amount of cash. He feels that she doesn't trust him, and will spend it himself, which he is very hurt about. How to navigate through all this?

Jalima1108 Tue 10-Jul-18 11:03:11

For the cash it might be legitimate, buy a floor safe and concrete it into mums floor so it is safe, don't get involved beyond that.
What - and possibly be charged with conspiracy to steal/defraud/etc?

this is stretching my credulity.

grannyactivist Tue 10-Jul-18 11:39:05

I have a relative who lives 'off grid' as much as possible and always withdraws money from the bank as soon as it goes in. There are more people like that than most of us credit I suspect.

petra Tue 10-Jul-18 14:36:47

Not one of my best days grin
But I've had worse over the years.

Jalima1108 Tue 10-Jul-18 15:32:47

But not all of them are in prison ga!!