Adopted Grandchild

Kim19, I think I was not making myself quite clear. My reference to vulnerability was more about my state of mind due to real life. We all go through things in life and whilst many can shrug some of it of I have found certain things have taken a while. Hence, if I have entered a conversation or started one that pertains to a subject that has left me a little raw, I will feel over sensitive and perhaps take things a little too personally, I will be emotionally vulnerable.
Gransnet, on the whole has been a very supportive environment. You just have to be aware that some posters can be blunt (the I speak as I find sort) whilst others, thankfully few and far between, will try to 'stir'.
Thankfully there are many who have wise heads, great kindness and warm forgiving natures.

Once again HildaW you have certainly stimulated my thoughts on social media. Thank you. However, I would currently disagree with you about ever feeling vulnerable here. To me the people on here are not only virtual but actual strangers. Confess to warming to a few by virtue of constancy and formalisation of a concept by their individual posts. I do realise some have actually met up. I have many reasons to be happy to be here. I've read helpful information. I've even bought products as a result of constructive information. Great. Have to confess that if I even felt slightly vulnerable I'd be off like a shot. That would be a weakness in me and not this site. You really have got me going. Very interesting. Thank you.

NewGranGill, your courageous and compassionate post is particularly moving given the Original Post on this thread. I hope the people involved in planning for your grandson have included a letter from you expressing your love and hopes for his future in his life story work.

NewGranGill, Can only imagine what you are going through, very brave and decent of you and I do hope you will find peace of mind when all is settled. All the very best to you.

Kim19, Its taken me a while to understand the difference between on line life and 'real' life. I have certainly always been the sort of person who would rather ignore the playground bully and not give trouble-makes the attention they seem to thrive on. Open forums are different and I'd always hate for someone who felt vulnerable (as I have sometimes been) to feel bullied or victimised. Social media is a funny thing!!

As someone who was told just last week that her DGS was going to be adopted I hope whoever he goes to he will be loved by his whole new family. The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is saying to myself that he will have a better and brighter future with someone else and that one day he may want to find me.

Thank you HildaW, your thoughts and comments against mine are appreciated and I understand and accept your reasoning. Guess I hadn't looked at it from your compassionate support for the OP. There y'go, another learning curve for me.

Absolutely Blencathra! If we only loved “blood” relatives, where would we be? Inter breeding? We all fall in love with total strangers don’t we?

I wouldn't think about it to start with- you may well find that you do love him- love has nothing to do with blood. If you can't it won't be a problem as long as you don't let it show or treat him differently.

Just act as if and feelings will likely follow. Really it does not matter to the child aslong as you behave in every way as if you adored him as much as you do the other grandchild.

HildaW
Glad to know it's not just me then!
I've found that occasionally my brain just stops. There I am, muddling along just fine, when I suddenly have to stop and think about what I'm doing as I don't have a clue!

Lyndiloo, you are very wise I just know that when things are tough we can all become a lot thinner skinned and a remark that would normally be like 'water of a duck's back' can sometimes hurt. So glad you are feeling supported by what is usually a lovely group of people. I will always say that we are all entitled to our points of view and opinions but we should be grown up enough to express ourselves with decency and good manners.

Was having just that conversation with someone today.....about only being able to concentrate on one thing....and even then not always successfully!

So many more helpful and thought-provoking responses! (And Oh Yes! I just ignored the less-than-helpful one! ^How sad must that person be, to try to upset someone needing support and advice ...?^) But I've got loads from all you other wise and wonderful people out there. So thank you again!

HildaW
Sorry, I was being mithered by DGS when I posted, I don't know why I included you, put it down to me 'slipping a cog', which is something I seem to be doing a lot of lately!

Juggernaut.....that's pretty much what I actually said....and I consider myself to have basic standards of common decency and tolerant.

When I posted yesterday I hadn't realised that today is the third anniversary of our grandson being legally adopted at a celebratory hearing in front of a very jolly and caring Judge and yesterday he "graduated" from his Nursery and I would love to share the photo of him looking so proud and so happy but of course, can't do that. Lindiloo, look forward to these milestones and you will find your heart melting at each one.

I think you will be a wonderful GM Lyndiloo. The fact that you are thinking it all through shows how sensitive you are. Let us know how if all goes.x

Kim19 & HildaW
Of course we could all ignore the out and out rudeness of some posters, but that's the cowards way out.
Surely if someone's behaviour is unacceptable, we have every right to comment upon it.
Of course, it all depends on ones own standards I expect!

Kim19, Must admit I tend to ignore the 'professional stirrers' but sometimes you do feel the need to say something so that the OP does not feel too isolated - its a sort of sisterly closing of the ranks against the sort of people who love to throw in some pretty extreme views and then act all defensive when they are criticised. Its the nature of open forums and I always hope the OPs who have sensitive and complex issues to discuss do not take the insensitive and sometimes downright inflammatory comments to heart.

On reflecting this post I could not help but notice how much time was wasted venting spleen on one subscriber who made adverse or unkind comments. Would it perhaps not be preferable to ignore such remarks from anyone and they will be deprived of the attention they receive/seek? Just a thought.

I am sure the little toddler will soon melt your heart.

So true Coco and others. Love never runs out. No matter how many children or grandchildren we have, we can always find lots and lots of love for one more.....

A little boy of two. His first chance of a family as he obviously had to wait this long before finding his. His own mummy, daddy, sister and grand parents. He will be a very special little boy.
His new sister will be concerned that there will not be enough love to go around but assure her love grows with every new addition to the family.
Congratulations!

Thank you! Her mum also has 2 of my sons children (my gd’s) and their mum wont let us see them. It’s so sad.