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Mental health

(187 Posts)
maddyone Thu 02-Aug-18 10:54:51

My AC has mental health issues. I don’t want to disclose any identifying details so can’t say too much, except it’s difficult. I sometimes wonder if I should seek some councelling myself, but not sure that will help me come to terms with it all and the difficulties it causes to the whole family.

starbird Thu 02-Aug-18 11:22:35

I would try to find out more about the issues and see if there are any support groups or counselling services that can help you and the family to cope. Talking to others who have to live with similar problems can help, are there any on line forums for those in your situation?

You have my sympathy, people often overlook how hard it can be to, in effect, ‘lose’ a family member with all the usual expectations of love and friendship, sharing life goals and so on, etc that go with having a ‘normal’ spouse, child, or grandchild. However, in reality, many family members end up lost to drugs, drink, crime, serious illness, life changing accidents etc, and depression among the young is becoming increasingly common. We have to let go of all our preconceived expectations and find and love all the positives that are still there. So sad for the person themselves, but also very hard for their family.
May you find the strength to give all the support they will need. 💐

Anniebach Thu 02-Aug-18 11:37:58

Struggled with the same for ten years , it depends on the illness , there are telephone numbers you can ring if the illness has been diagnosed. Would you feel comfortable with just posting the diagnoses?

rubytut Thu 02-Aug-18 11:54:01

Sorry to interrupt, what does AC mean? , it is not in the list of acronyms.

Cold Thu 02-Aug-18 12:09:39

AC = Adult Child

Fennel Thu 02-Aug-18 12:27:58

Starbird mentioned support groups. I'm a big fan of those, either online, or even better in real life with a group leader who knows what they're doing.
I wonder if your local Samaritans would be able to tell you if they exist in your area?

rubytut Thu 02-Aug-18 12:55:05

Thank you Cold.
MIND is an excellent service which can give you support and information. You have my sympathy , it really takes its toll on the whole family and can cause so much resentment from those that have little knowledge of mental health conditions.

Anniebach Thu 02-Aug-18 12:55:44

When the psychiatrist told me my daughter had bipolar I contacted their helpline, they explained the illness to me, it didn’t take away my distress and worry but I understood how to seperate my darling daughter from the illness, if she was unkind I could say to myself - that’s the illness speaking not my loving child.

maddyone Thu 02-Aug-18 22:52:04

Thank you to all you ladies who have replied to me, and for your helpful suggestions. I am looking online for support groups but have been unsuccessful yet, but the suggestion to contact MIND is very welcome. Annie, thank you for your kind concern, I don’t feel able to post the diagnosis on Gransnet, but will PM you tomorrow. It’s been very complicated, as these things are, and there are very young children in the equation, so I feel the need to give very few details. Looking back I can see all the signs over many years, but interspersed with periods of things going well, I have always been hopeful, but finally I know that this real, and will not go away.

Anniebach Fri 03-Aug-18 08:38:52

maddy, you are most welcome to PM me , I am sure there is the right support out there for you , I found it. you will also find support and understanding in this forum. Do contact MIND maddy , don’t try to carry this worry alone please.

Luckygirl Fri 03-Aug-18 09:15:24

I am sending good wishes to you in this terrible dilemma. My DD had a very severe pre-natal depression and it was agony to watch her suffer and change personality. And, like you, there were children involved. I know what you are going through. Do seek support from the useful suggestions above.

maddyone Mon 06-Aug-18 23:32:17

Thank you again ladies. Things have deteriorated yet again, it’s a tricky situation, and I worry so much about those little ones. I can’t really say much more without disclosing identifying details, which I don’t want to do, but I value your support and suggestions.

grannyactivist Tue 07-Aug-18 00:13:55

maddy there are many of us on GN who have family members with mental health issues, some with illnesses that are quite severe and enduring. You will find a lot of helpful support on here, so no matter how bleak the situation is please keep coming back to us, if only for a (((hug)) and the reassurance that others also have some experience of the problems and difficulties involved. flowers

Anniebach Tue 07-Aug-18 08:57:52

maddyone you will always find support here x

maddyone Tue 07-Aug-18 22:38:50

Some improvement today, had a visit from AC and children. Onwards and upwards. Sending support to anyone else who is dealing with these situations. The situation often varies from day to day.

illtellhim Tue 07-Aug-18 23:57:18

Don't you lot worry about the understanding of mental illness. Is a man who says he's a woman and goes into our changing rooms, mental ill or wot. Please help, this happened at our swimming baths last week, police were called but he\she ran off. Other girls said he\she was sick in the head. The thing is he\she looked like a girl to me, and I was just standing there in my nickers.😮😮

Doodle Wed 08-Aug-18 15:51:35

Not quite the response I think maddy is looking for illtemhim I think you would be better off starting a new thread than posting on this one. Totally different scenario and your wording could be a bit less derogatory.

Doodle Wed 08-Aug-18 16:03:21

Sorry, don't mean to sound unkind but the OP is genuinely concerned and asking for advice over serious health issues not transgender issues.

oldbatty Wed 08-Aug-18 17:26:52

illtellhim, Mental health issues affect something in the region of 20% of the population at some time during their lives.

It is incredibly common but unfortunately still has a stigma attached to it and is seen as a weakness.

OP, feel free to pm for a chat.

Fennel Wed 08-Aug-18 17:35:55

The hardest thing about mental 'illness' is that it's not like other illnesses. For most there's no cure, though nowadays it's easier to manage. Drugs etc.
My sympathies, maddie. We have it in our family.

oldbatty Wed 08-Aug-18 18:02:19

The more people have the guts to talk about it , the better. After all, some people dont hold back when it comes to describing their physical ailments!!!

maddyone Sun 26-Aug-18 14:29:47

Things were improving but now going downhill again. I despair at times of ever being able to live a normal life. A lovely holiday followed by moods and unpleasantness. Sometimes I want to wash my hands of it all.

MissAdventure Sun 26-Aug-18 14:44:55

I'm so sorry to hear that, maddy.
I can only imagine what a strain it must be, and of course the worry.
Have you found any support for yourself?
I know talking about it won't somehow make it go away, but at least you can vent. flowers

Anniebach Sun 26-Aug-18 15:08:03

Maddy x

Doodle Sun 26-Aug-18 18:27:49

maddy a little prayer for you and yours. Hope things improve.