Have you ever seriously considered suicide?

gilly

I read in Bob Geldof's biography that he had an urge to jump in front of a train.
Not because he was unhappy, just a fleeting thought about what it would be like.
A bit spine tingly..

Not just one urge, by the way, it was often!

My heart goes out to anyone who is or has been in despair. Not wishing in any way to minimise risk it’s important to remember there is a long way between suicidal thoughts, maybe not minding if one doesn’t wake up in the morning, and having a plan and intent to end ones life. Can I echo others wisdom? If life seems so very hard please reach out, Samaritans are always there, other agencies too and of course GP’s will have listened to others in a similar place. Please don’t be frightened to seek help.

Yes, a few attempts. Mostly in childhood but a couple of goes as an adult.

What stopped me was error in each attempt. Used wrong sort of pills etc.

I don’t think it would have been any loss to anyone if I had succeeded, mother has often encouraged me in attempts. I have small children now and that has altered that equation for me as they would definitely miss me.

If making a call to the Samaritans is too difficult, you can text and someone will text back.
07725 909090.

I think it is more common than believed, to think about it I certainly have at times but know I could never do anything a) I m not brave enough and b) I couldn’t bear to leave my family with unanswered questions and change their life for ever, so serious thoughts, no. I have some friends like Stree who have made a plan if they get too incapable to live their life without a lot of intervention however how serious they are I don’t know
I think most people who commit suicide have lost their ability to think about anything but their pain and their necessity to be released and to release their family, their brain is so consumed there is no sideway thought of what they are leaving behind or the effect on others or that there is a way forward, that thought process has all gone, its beyond their comprehension by this stage, I think the brain must shut down completely by their all consuming pain before they actually do whatever they do
Thinking about it is just a realistic approach to managing life and in most cases is never acted on
Nanny23 knows she has lots of wonderful things in her life her caring husband for one she is also able to verbalise her feelings which means she has cognitive control she will get through her problems

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way Nanny23 sometimes it's hard to see a way forward when you are beset by problems. Take support from your husband and other people mentioned on here. There is no shame in telling people how low you feel.

Judy that was one of the most insensitive replies I have seen on GN. Please God you will never suffer from depression.

I have been on different ocassions very tired of what life has thrown at me and very tired of living and would have liked not to wake up.
My daughter took her own life,she couldnt see anyway out of her situation she was 23 and left me with her 4 year old daughter,this was 15 years ago,the aftermath still stays with unanswered questions,the not getting to say goodbye.
Please speak to someone OP get the support you need,I understand life must be very difficult for you to be having those thoughts,I hope the support from those on this thread helps you

Muffin you are important, you would be missed, your children love you.

nanny23 I know where you are coming from and I am so sorry but if it would help please message me if you would like someone to listen. Best wishes xx

nanny22. Please keep talking to us here if you need to unload. Glad to hear your husband is your rock. ?
Judyjudy12 I'm glad you have never found yourself in the deepest darkest abyss - the tunnel with no light. It is the most painful place to be even though you would feel completely numb to any emotion you may have experienced previously. I really hope that never happens to you but please understand anyone who finds themselves there has not been on a journey of choice.

Nanny, I'm so deeply sorry you're feeling this way. TG for your dh! Please do reach out to Samaritans as GN and others have said. Hugs!

Muffin, what a painful childhood you must have had! And what a cruel, abusive mother! You survived, though, TG, and went on to become a mother, yourself. Kudos! I'm glad the kids keep you going. Please realize that not only would they miss you, they need you. Also, I hope you're in counseling to come to terms with your unfortunate childhood.

muffin I don’t want to ignore your post, those childhood messages were oh so wrong. You’ve been in a desperate place but have come through. Your children will make a huge difference of course but please seek help if those feelings return. You do matter and are important.

My brother did this as a young man. The shock , horror and repercussions were horrendous. I think he could have been helped now, there wasn't much available then, he was thought of as a nuisance or told to pull himself together. I have been in what they would now call 'a very bad place' many times over the years due to awful events in my life (including this one) but have always managed to pull myself back from the brink. It certainly isn't selfish. Can you imagine how bad you must feel that you do this?

No, absolutely not.
Those that talk about it are probably least likely to do it.

Sometimes they do. My brother tried a few times but even then we never thought he would succeed.

I don’t think I’ve seriously contemplated it. I haven’t the courage. I have, though, thought how useful it would be if there was some sort of handy pill we could take when we’ve had enough. I don't think people should be forced to live through some of the terrible situations they can find themselves in.

I quite often hope I won’t wake up, but I’d like to know I’m not going to.

When I was young, I worked with an older lady who told me she would never kill herself but sometimes she hoped she wouldn't wake up in the morning. I thought she was mad but can sort of understand it now.

Nanny23 I hope you have told your DH how you are feeling, every day, not just once. Talking to someone, anyone, at your lowest times must help. 111 is another number you can call. I have a friend who has been suicidal the last few days partly because she feels that the doctors, mental health team etc are not listening. Late last night she called 111 and they listened and gave her an emergency number to call. She is improved today.

Judy I am angry with you. I can't be as polite about your post as others have been. I find it impossible to believe that someone who has lived long enough to join Gransnet can be so selfish and self-centred. Do you really believe what you said? Have you so little empathy that you want to make Nany23 feel worse than she already does? I think you should apologise right away.

I started a thread on depression if anybody is struggling.

People thinking dark thoughts please share them. It sort of limits their powers and also I urge you to visit a good GP.

Many people don't want to die, they just can't cope with living. A big difference.

Well put Nonnie

Yes Nonnie, and if they get help and support they look back and see it for what it was , a bad patch.

Isolation is the bad thing. If you can find the courage to say I feel rotton, I'm struggling, I seem to be having a bad few days....its very liberating and more often than not other people then open up.

I am desperately trying to get help for a loved one and have been passed from pillar to post since Thursday. I have finally secured an (urgent???) appointment for tomorrow with someone privately. When it comes to MH the NHS and this country are backward.