its a lack of mental health staff gilly and set to get worse .There aren't enough people who want to train in this field and we would need to import them.That may not be possible soon.
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Have you ever seriously considered suicide?
(113 Posts)GNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.
I know this is a very serious subject fraught with minefields, but would be interested to know if you have ever thought of taking your own life, and what stopped you? I have had an awful year and have often wished I wasn't here, but have a wonderful husband who understands our family issues and keeps me going. Has anyone else got any experiences they would like to share and why they still carry on? Is it fear of death is worse than fear of keep on living, or something more?
It is not as simple as some think. There are mental illnesses which cause the mind to become so irrational the sufferer is in such a dark place they choose to die to escape the demons which hound them.
Yes oldbatty but unfortunately there are still some people who think than mental illness is something to be ashamed of. I have experience of someone who taunted another person about it as if they could help it any more than the taunter could help their long term medical issue. If you have experienced such an attitude it makes it so much harder to open up and seek help.
I agree Annie I was guilty of getting annoyed with my brother. I had no idea what he was going through. Now I have an idea.
KatyK, I supported and fought for my darling daughter for ten years , I had to learn what I could about her illness , no help from those who were treating her because of patient confidentiality, it was patient confidentiality which killed her, I phoned her mental health team and said she was so far on the edge I feared for her, I was told, ‘sorry we cannot discuss this with you , patient confidentiality , if she tries to take her life call the police ‘. She jumped in the river at five in the morning,
Nanny23, I do hope that you have managed to contact someone who will be able to give you the support that you so desperately need
I have thought long and hard about whether to post this next bit, but seeing the, mostly, supportive messages, I will.
3-4 years ago we had a lovely young couple as next door neighbours. They both worked and seemed happy enough. We became friendly and swopped cakes etc. One day, I was alone, and the young man knocked and asked if we could loan him some money. The bailiffs were at his door. I had no cash, very little credit on a card, and all savings were tied up, long term. I asked him to call his family and tell his wife, the Salvation Army, or any of the available help lines. I don't know if he ever did, but a few days afterwards, I arrived home from shopping, to find my drive and the road blocked with a police car, an ambulance and an emergency response vehicle. I thought he was ill, and as I knew him, asked if I could speak to him. I was told, no, it's too late. I was a mess, my husband was out for the day and I was alone.
I still have dreadful thoughts that maybe, just maybe, if I had managed to lend him money, whether he would be here today.
Just putting this down has brought it all back, but Judy, he was, must have been, in a dreadful place in his mind. I don't think he was being selfish, just couldn't take any more. He was a young Asian man, and I think the shame to his family, was perhaps uppermost in his thoughts. His lovely wife moved away, but I do hear from her brother how she is coping from time to time.
So sorry Annie I've read your story on here. It's awful. It was in the '70s for my brother. There was little help and no encouragement to talk then.
Auntieflo Hindsight is a wonderful thing. We aren't to know they are going to do this, never in a million years.
I have suffered with clinical depression on and off since I was a teenager. During my second hospital admission, brought about because none of the anti-depressants I had been taking seemed to work anymore, I was in such mental pain that I decided that if the pain wouldn't go away then ending it all was an option. I did come out the other side and eventually became a Samaritan . I'd been there and knew what other people were going through.
Nanny23 I'm so sorry you feel this way. Please see your GP or ring the Samaritans and talk to someone. There is so much more help available these days and the stigma of depression or of feeling suicidal is far less than it used to be.
I hid the way I felt from everyone, for a very long time, because I was ashamed.
Nonnie, you are so right, there are people who think MH issues are somehow fabricated or created by you.
When I say open up, obviously choose your person carefully. It needn't be a massive off loading session. Just say something.
I do wish Nanny23 would come back and tell us how she is. Also that Judy would have a rethink and apologise.
Yes oldbatty it may be hard for some to feel able to open up. DH does try to help but really doesn't understand and sometimes says quite thoughtless things when MH comes up on the news. Never about me though.
Thank you all for your kind supportive messages ladies, they have helped. I'm sorry that there are so many others going through such difficult times too. Nonnie, you were spot on in your earlier post, I don't want to die, I just can't cope with living right now, because of family issues. I'm seeing my GP and a counsellor, and am taking the usual meds, but the issue that is causing the problem is out of my control right now and I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall, nothing I say or do makes it right. Everyone says to give it time, but living every day like this is agony, so telling me to "give it time" is like telling me to "fly to the moon". I just wish I could think straight without this going round and round in my head all the time.
perhaps if you wish, you could share some of whats going on for you?
Anniebach My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your pain.
So much sadness on here and I send you all my love. Please let your 'wonderful husband' keep you going Nanny23. Yes I have been there too, no need for details, but it was the thought of my children made me reconsider. Samaritans helped too. I think in my case the anonymity was the key. Talking openly about it is still not an option but I have learned about my own inner strength over the years. May you all seek and find that strength because we do all matter.
When a person commits suicide it is because at that moment they can't see any other way out, the last thing they would ever want is to hurt those they love. It is so cruel to say it's a selfish act, shows complete lack of compassion and understanding for the victim and their families. My heart goes out to anyone affected. Can you imagine hearing that your much loved, wonderful relative or friend being described as selfish because in a moment of despair they took their own life. I think a lot of people fleetingly might think of it but would do nothing. I wish there was more help out there, particularly for youngsters under pressure, for the chronically lonely at any age. Don't judge until you're in their shoes.
Nanny23 your later post says it for me. The problems are outside your control, yes, that's it. If you are a strong person who has always been able to influence the important things in life it is very hard when you can't do that (and perhaps feel you should?). Dr Tim Cantopher wrote a book about this, Depression the Curse of the Strong, I've mentioned it on other threads. It is not the weak who get ill with depression, it is the strong.
Hang in there Nanny23, we are here for you.
I've ordered the book thank you Nonnie. And thanks to everyone for all of your kind and supportive replies. Woke up this morning feeling awful, trying to fight my way through the day.
Nanny23, difficult I know from experience, but try to take things one day at time . X
Nanny23 several of us have been where you are and have come through one way or another. We each have to find out own way, what works for one doesn't work for another. When it is really tough just keep going for the next hour, just keep on keeping on. It has to get better as it can't get worse, hang on to that.
What happened to the first post I was writing? Hope they don't both appear.
Nanny, please, please go to your GP. There is no need to be fighting. Help is at hand. It is something wrong with your dopamine and neurotransmitters in your brain. It could happen to anyone. Pick up the phone and make an appointment.
and if you do what OB says and can't get an appointment straight away call 111, if they say you need to see a doc, then you see one.
Please please do it. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should be feeling so rough.
I know the idea of being on antidepressants doesn't appeal to everybody and yes you will initially get side effects but they do work. They do lift the fog.
Judy, when someone really wishes to take their own life, it is not selfishness, usually quite the opposite, as they feel that they are doing the very best thing possible for those that they love. It may feel selfish to those loved ones left, but do not continue to make such damning, crass, comments about mental illness.
My youngest son died very tragically and suddenly - now some 16 years ago. A few months later, I can remember crying whilst I was trying to cut the grass and thinking that if I deliberately ran over the wire, perhaps the electric shock would be enough to kill me and take away the pain. Then I thought of my other five children and knew that, no way, could I inflict another trauma onto them.
Some years before that, I had a very bad year, my husband suddenly left me in a rather desperate state, and then I crashed my car. Driving home in a hired car I went over a high bridge, and I can remember thinking that if I wrenched the wheel sharply to the left at speed, I could go through the wall and plummet downwards. My next thought was that the way my luck was running, I would just probably end up terribly injured, but still alive, at the bottom.
Somehow, I have come through it all, and am pleased that I have lived to see my eight g.children all born, and my own children doing well, etc.
Must say, would still like to see the law changed to allow those of us who wished it to be able to choose euthanasia, with obvious appropriate safe guards. Old Age is a terminal illness, and I feel I should have the right to choose how and when to die, in much the same way as I have chosen how to live.
Yes, I did but in the end I always realize that doing the easy way out is not an answer and I will think of the people that I will leave.
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