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Where does the time go!

(65 Posts)
Grammaretto Thu 18-Oct-18 12:13:41

Since retiring, in my case 10 years ago, we have never been so busy. It's a cliche but true, there is so much to do. I find it hard to find the time to be the kind of gran I'd like to be for our 7 DGC and to do even half the things I want to do in my later years. How do you all manage?

Day6 Thu 01-Nov-18 15:34:47

bigcoll - Apart from that I try and fill my days. I cant think of anything worse then having to stay in and do nothing

Oh dear! I have just written exactly the opposite which is now making me feel slightly guilty again! grin It's good that we are all different I suppose. smile

Day6 Thu 01-Nov-18 15:30:17

I feel so blessed to have loads of free time no after working so hard for over 40 yrs in a stressful occupation. My health suffered but I get by.

My dilemma now is - am I wasting time? I am not really a joiner (until I find something I really like) and my hobbies like reading, crosswords etc are quite sedentary. I like to walk and enjoy pottering in the garden. We go to the cinema, theatre, walks, the odd pub outing etc. I get out and about with OH and my friends and we see family regularly and babysit etc, but I really am guilty of wasting my days doing nothing much! I know I have earned that right, but life (and mobility now we are getting on a bit) is so precious I feel I should be packing as much into my retirement as I can.

I absolutely love days without plans when the biggest decision we have to make is what we are having for dinner.

The days do fly by now but most evenings, although the day has been enjoyable and fun, I don't feel I have achieved much at all. I am quite happy but feeling somewhat guilty for not getting out there more. So many seem very involved in lots of groups, volunteering or regular child care.

I think I have had such a strong work ethic all my life (no choice as a single mother!) that now I am luxuriating in not making decisions or plans.

bigcol1 Thu 01-Nov-18 11:36:05

I am not retired, but I am what you call long term unemployed. I have the occasional stewarding job but that is usually a one off and minimum wage. Apart from that I try and fill my days. I cant think of anything worse then having to stay in and do nothing. Sometimes I am more out than in. I do a lot of volunteering and I go to drama 3 times a week and I go to a couple of over fifties groups. I am messaging you from one now, so there is always something. people who say there isn't must just like to moan. there is always something if you look. I have recently joined a free drama group so money didn't be a barrier either. They are there if you look. Good luck! - BIG COL

gmelon Mon 22-Oct-18 13:25:09

Gillybob. Did you have some years to yourself in between your child/ren and now the grandchildren? Have you had any free time?

You had no help from your parents. I admire you for helping your Father, he perhaps was less forthcoming to help you.

I understand your thoughts on childcare.
I had no help with my three boys and thus am committed to my grandchildren, my son is very self centred and would gladly let others do it all. I don't like his ways but love my grandchildren, they won't miss out because of him.

We all do what we can or in some cases what we are allowed to do.
I'd rather be a bit annoyed with my son now and again than have problems accessing my grandchildren.

Blinko Mon 22-Oct-18 12:55:50

Whilst I was still at work, thinking how I might fill all those hours when I retired, I thought I'd retake 'O' Level Maths (or whatever it's now called) and also learn Japanese.

Since retiring, of course I've done neither. No time....

MysticalUnicorn Sun 21-Oct-18 16:03:23

The answer is learn to say No, and plan your week so you fit in as much Me time as you want or need. People may protest at first, but they'll get used to it and be pleased to see a happier you.

Jane10 Sun 21-Oct-18 12:59:00

Och Juggernaut don't worry about it. They are sad creatures. We all know the value of gillybob and how much she's appreciated by her family and her friends here on GN.

Juggernaut Sun 21-Oct-18 11:59:14

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

oldbatty Sat 20-Oct-18 11:02:01

gilly.....just be careful and think of your own health and wellbeing. Maybe the parents of the GC need to step up a bit more?

gillybob Sat 20-Oct-18 10:55:15

I had wonderful grandparents too Jane10 and I loved my maternal grandma very much and still miss her being around . She was/is my role model in life and if I could be a fraction as good a grandma as she was, I would be happy. She looked after my sister and I at every opportunity which enabled my mum and dad to work and “have a social life” away from us children . I just feel sad that my parents didn’t feel the need to pass this on to the next generation. Never mind, we are all different x

Nannylovesshopping Sat 20-Oct-18 10:51:23

gillybob you are doing a grand job with your family💐🌺🌻🍷🍾🍰

Jane10 Sat 20-Oct-18 10:39:53

Gillybob I've just read those nasty comments about you. Ignore them. Maybe those posters feel a bit guilty themselves about not doing much to help their own families.
I had such lovely grandparents that I want to be as much like them as I possibly can and help my own family. Sounds like you're being a great role model for your grandchildren too.

PECS Sat 20-Oct-18 09:21:48

I consider myself a busy person. I still do a couple of days p/t paid work e.g. yesterday I was "supplying" at a school for ch with autism.
I look after 4 DGC x 2 week after school & in school holidays. I manage our garden, cook, shop, go for walks with friends, have regular cinema / theatre/ music outings, visit elderly aunt, socialise with longstanding and new friends each week etc etc. But it is after 9:00 on& I am relaxing in bed..

gillybob Sat 20-Oct-18 08:29:17

We had little support from our own parents and we want to help our own children

And there you hit the nail right on the head Marydoll !

My parents did nothing to help or support me as a very young single parent and boy could I have done with it. I was very lonely. I vowed that I would NEVER be like them and so I try do everything I can to help and support my own children and grandchildren. Yes, like you we are often taken advantage of but I would rather it that way than the opposite.

CardiffJaguar Sat 20-Oct-18 08:26:44

Retirement does not mean we stop doing things, apart from work that is. We carry on with all thoise things outside work and add to that all those things we have been waiting for retirement to be able to do. Or at least we try.

Of course it is difficult to fit it all in especially as we do not have the pressure to do it that work entails. When we cannot fit it all in is when we start to wonder about time. So stop for a moment; realise that life is so full of opportunities and just make the best use of all the time that is available.

Marydoll Sat 20-Oct-18 08:18:53

Gillybob, I really admire you and all you do, so don't let one nasty remark get to you.
If you are a martyr, then so am I! I too can't say No , not only to family, but everyone else, probably to the detriment of my own health. There are not enough hours in the day just now.
Last night DH and I were saying, as much as we adore DGD how resentful we were becoming. My my son promised to pick up ill DGD early, as we had electricians, joiners and a plasterer in the house, we couldn't even make a cup of tea.
However, it was actually DIL who turned up even later than usual, saying DS was away buying takeaway, as they were so late getting home!!! No thought as to how stressful the whole situation was for us and how we were going to manage to eat, among the kitchen chaos. angry
We only have ourselves to blame! However, we had little support from our own parent's and we want to help our own children.
I hope you get some relaxation this weekend Gilly.

gillybob Sat 20-Oct-18 07:51:17

I was thinking exactly the same thing GreenGran78 . I’m half expecting a nasty PM.

GreenGran78 Sat 20-Oct-18 01:02:38

I think that Saggi is a reincarnation of Mabon1, whom I haven't noticed making unkind comments today.

gillybob Fri 19-Oct-18 23:05:31

Annual holidays for average working person in industry = 4 weeks plus b/h’s . School holidays = 13 weeks (plus odd days) it’s not exactly rocket science is it 4allwekow ? (Don’t mean to be nasty just stating facts) My DS and DDiL rarely get ANY time off together as they have to take separate holidays to fit in with childcare. I pick up all of the rest plus sick days etc.

4allweknow Fri 19-Oct-18 22:00:20

Gillybob You certainly are busy. In fact no idea how you cope. Why do you though have to give up your leave to care for DGC? Take it their parent/s also work so is there a reason their holidays can't be coordinated with yours so DGC can be looked after by them and you have your leave free. Not critising you or your family, just thinking of how you can have a break from it all.

gillybob Fri 19-Oct-18 21:17:28

I know that Greenfinch thank you . You are a kind person . Unlike some sad

NfkDumpling Fri 19-Oct-18 21:06:25

I really want to join U3A but just can’t find the time.

Greenfinch Fri 19-Oct-18 21:06:03

BarmyoldbatI made no unkind comments.I think you have confused me with someone else.I was supporting gillybob.In fact I don't believe in being unkind on this forum.sad

gillybob Fri 19-Oct-18 19:47:08

Kick a girl when she’s down why don’t you Saggi sad

Legs55 Fri 19-Oct-18 19:31:24

I love being retired, sadly no DH to share it with now but I've had to adjust. Making a new start after being widowed, new area, new friends, exploring new places.

I have had 2 weekend breaks with friends, one visit to DM & another planned. I enjoy coffee & meals with friends. Housework when necessary when you can write your name in the dust blush

I don't have childcare responsibilities but see my family frequently