What a muddle you are in just now - and I can understand why.
I think you are on the brink of doing something you will very definitely regret.
You have done so much in your life and have two fine sons to show for it. Maybe you need to tell yourself that you are ready to embark on a new phase that is perhaps more about you than your parental responsibilities.
Write a list of the things that you might have done if you had not been so busy. Could it be that now is the time to do them? I have experience of taking a risk and jumping off the wheel - it is very liberating.
I wish you lots of good luck in your quest for the right path in this new phase of your life.
July 23 Limerick (continuation of July 21)