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How do I meet someone new?

(57 Posts)
Deni1963 Mon 07-Jan-19 11:41:14

I'm hoping you lovely grans remember me. It's been a year since I found out my ex was having an affair and she was pregnant. He's 52 and I was 54. We don't have children together. Two weeks later a second woman messaged me, he was also having an affair with her. The first terminated the pregnancy.
It's been one of the hardest years of my life, all I believed in totally crushed. I've managed to get back on my feet, and move on, and feel ready to meet someone else.
But dating sites have so far left me feeling this isn't the way for me, I've had maybe 12 dates and just not connecting.
I work as a nanny to a special needs child so don't meet men through work, and although I go out with friends etc, I don't seem to meet men I really want to date.
It's a whole new game. I'm not one to rush into bed with a man, yet this seems to be the course now, I don't even want to discuss sexually preferences etc, yet most men seem to just want to talk about sex! I'm not a prude at all, but don't see why I need to talk about it all before we've met.
So where do I meet someone new? I'm 55 now, and wondering if I will just not have another relationship.

Greengage Fri 11-Jan-19 01:13:53

Sometimes you can meet someone just naturally through the course of ordinary life. I was widowed for nearly 10 years and was not interested in meeting anyone else. My daughter met her husband on a dating site, and when they married I, at the age of 70, met a relative of my son-in-law and a close relationship has developed!

FountainPen Fri 11-Jan-19 01:27:46

I used to read Stella Grey's column in The Guardian. She did meet someone and remarried but it took two years of perseverance with online dating before she found a good match. The columns are still there.

Grandma2213 Fri 11-Jan-19 02:00:26

I am more than happy on my own but I guess if you did want to meet someone all of the previous suggestions would be helpful. Personally I would go for groups or clubs that were related to my own interests or voluntary work eg conservation, National Trust etc but I would never consider online dating. Having said that it does seem to work for some people. Each to his/her own.

craftergran Fri 11-Jan-19 03:04:24

I met my husband via a dating site which doesn't exist anymore but you could chat on it. I found the site to be full of the wrong type of men and I never met up with any of them. I arranged a date with one other, but I pulled out of meeting up because I wasn't sure about him.
DH and I clicked and chatted frequently off the dating site. He lived very far away and we were just friends, we met up after about 6 mths, still wasn't expecting anything to come of it, but here we are!
After my divorce from first husband, I met previous bf's through activities I did in the real world. I still think that is your best way of meeting people. I was lucky with dating site but I spoke to a great many men online before I found my DH and I never met any of them.... that was the quality of them!

Deni1963 Sat 12-Jan-19 09:45:15

Thank you for all the fantastic comments. I've joined 'meetup ' and will go along to a few groups, joined a poetry night and amateur theatre which isn't until February - Im on, it's very hit and miss, but it seems most are wanting to talk about sex, which I'm not even close to thinking about!
So many lovely stories here - it boosted by confidence to get out there 😊

Eekey Tue 15-Jan-19 23:57:08

Sounds like you are well . Plenty of over 50s dating sites x