Dil and her Mother

Sorry PINKY57 but this was you just a month ago in January

PINKY57 Thu 10-Jan-19 18:16:14
Hi all
I need some advice, I have an 8 month old grandson who scratches himself at night, instead of cutting his nails every few days my dil has started to swaddle him again

In the name of all that is holy.

Her mother is there all day because she wants her mother to be there all day.

DIL is an adult and can spend her own time with whoever she pleases.

She can also ask whoever she likes to babysit as long as they are an appropriate, fit and safe caregiver.

Bibbity whatever your feeling about the OP and her situation do you have to be so thoroughly unpleasant? Could you simply offer the same advice in a kindly manner? Why set out to hurt? I just don't understand being so nasty.

PINKY57 The only important question for parents to answer is, 'Is this arrangement serving the needs of my child?' From your previous posts we know there have been hiccups in the relationship in the past that were not of your daughter-in-law's making, and you do get to take your grandson swimming regularly so it's not as if you don't already have meaningful contact. My own daughter-in-law is a new mum to her first baby and also sees her own mum much more frequently than she sees me, and she does so with my full support and encouragement. I am truly delighted that her lovely mum is around and able to support her.

Please, please do not risk your relationship with this little family. Lower your expectations, trust that the child's parents have his best interests at heart and acknowledge that they are including you in his life.

Good post grannyactivist.

My god. You think this is mean yet we’re called the snowflake generation.

Bibbity is it because you have a wonderful mil and can't understand those who don't?

Bibbity, It is not what you say, but the way that you say it.

However you do have my sympathy, we do seem to have a lot of threads at the moment from grandmothers overreacting to trivial incidents that most families do not even notice or just accept as the daily rough and tumble of family life.

We also have threads from grandmothers with deep and difficult problems but that is something completely different.

Bibbity this is what Wiki has to say about the snowflake generation

"The term snowflake has been used to refer to children raised by their parents in ways that give them an inflated sense of their own uniqueness"

Would you agree?

You mean my MiL who’s been CO by her son and we haven’t seen in 2 years?

That explains so much Bibity. I have been wondering why someone of your age chooses to post on a forum for older people, although of course you are welcome. It explains why you are so biased against mils but does not explain why you have to be so unpleasant to us. It is rather sad that you feel the need to come on here though.

Do you agree with Wiki?

Really Pinky ????

Because your DiL asked her own Mother to babysit you're thinking about not seeing her or your grandchild again????

I'd walk over hot coals to see mine but because you feel slighted you'd give up the chance to spend time with them?

Im sorry you feel slighted but that's on you. It is reasonable that she asks her mother especially given some of your history with her. I suggest you work on that relationship first , maybe then you'll be asked more too.

Hmmm I go by urban Dictionaries definition

Snowflake
A very sensitive person. Someone who is easily hurt or offended by the statements or actions of others.

This has nothing to do with politics. Snowflakes can be liberal or conservative. Whether it is a compliment or an insult is a matter of opinion and depends on the context.
Don't criticize Jane for what she did. She's a snowflake and you'll only upset her.

I am not biased against this MILs.
I can see where this story goes and am trying to stop the OP being so ridiculous that she ruins her relationship with her family!!

She's allowed to see her mother as much as she wants. Why on earth should she have to not see her (even everyday if she wishes) because you might not like it.

If you're not getting to see the baby enough, why not take it up with your son? He's the parent as well, why should all the blame go to your DIL? (And I say this as someone who gets on well with their MIL, so no MIL hating here).

Also, threatening to refuse to see your GS is ridiculous. You'll be the only one losing out there. People complain all the time when DILs use GC as weapons against GP, by threatening to not spend time with him because the other nan sees him more you would be no better (or worse really, as you must see him often enough anyway as you say you take him swimming!)

I recognise I am wasting my time Bibbity because you can't see what is so unpleasant about your posts so I will stop trying. I don wonder though why you come on a forum for older people? Are you hoping your mil will see your posts?

I have never spoken to her about swaddling and she does not do it anymore as gs is 9 months old

I am
You were posting only three weeks ago that your DIL had started swaddling the baby at 8 months old and now doesn't do it any more.
That's one improvement anyway.

Don't criticize Jane for what she did.
Who is Jane?

No I don’t want MIL to see this.
She is nothing to do with me, I don’t post personal info on here because I want to remain anonymous ?

Bibbity You have my sympathy, you clearly have issues to overcome and I don't think coming on here is helping.

One day you may be a mil and look back and reflect on all of this. Wisdom comes with age.

Whoever Jane is Jamila, we must not criticize her! ?

She's a very lovely person, always kind to her MIL!

What issues could I possibly have over this ? Op is being ridiculous. There is no way to say otherwise.
OP needs to stop being ridiculous or her next post will be on the CO thread wondering why she’ll never see her family again.

well, we are trying to ell her in a kind way


obviously the message about not swaddling got through within three weeks - perhaps her DIL is on GN?

tell not ell or even yell