Dil and her Mother

I’m a first time nana to my son and his girlfriend new baby boy. I live 30 minutes away and the girlfriends mum is 10 minutes away. We both work. I feel it’s a privilege to babysit my grandson and it’s my son and his girlfriends decision as parents who they ask to babysit. I don’t compete or ask how often my grandson sees his other nana. I’m happy to help when I can and it’s the parents decision ultimately. I get photos and videos daily sent via what’s app from my son and his gf and am always grateful for those till I see him again. I don’t give advice unless I’m asked and always ask before buying anything if it’s suitable. I think grandmums have to take a step back sometimes abs wait to be asked rather than expect

My DD ,SIL and 2 GCs live a short walk away from me. Yesterday was their 10th Wedding Anniversary and they were having a rare evening out .My SIL’s Mum drove 67 miles from her home to babysit for them and stay overnight. I found no problem with this and just thought it was nice for her to see her DS and grandchildren . I don’t get to see them very often but would never dream of not wanting to to see them as a result of this. That would be totally self defeating. I just make the most of seeing them when I can.Both parents are nurses and work crazy shifts so time for them as a family is fairly rare .

Bibbity Huge congratulations!
You win the prize for having considerably less tact than I do, and heaven knows tact is not my strongest suit!!

I am a great one for calling a spade a spade, but you might want to consider how much value there is in calling it a ruddy shovel.

persist you are so right, why post anything if not constructive? What sort of person would do that? Not a trait that is endearing, someone with issues of their own obviously.

DIL will always be closer to her Mum - that's natural.

I think it's up to you to show how keen you are and that you can be trusted to look after her precious child. Maybe start by initiating some visits where she can see how capable you are and then after a while gently say that you would love to be more involved with babysitting. I think the key is to show DIL how much you love and care for her as well as for her her child.

Bibbity. You may feel your comments are constructive but the harshness of them could be destructive.
Perhaps a lighter tone might help?