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17 month old being denied solid food

(170 Posts)
Lavazza1st Sat 09-Feb-19 14:22:38

My son and his wife are jobless and living with us. Their 17 month old is being fed five full bottles of follow on formula a day and they wake in the night to give him bottles as well. As a result the toddler is not eating much solid food. A few times we've given him fruit and my daughter in law gets really upset that he may not drink his milk! I have tried to explain to her that he only needs one pint of milk a day and should be getting his nutrition from three good meals a day, but she ignores this and has hidden milk powder in their bedroom!
If they were living in their own house I'd not say anything, but they are living in our house and the little one really wants food! He absolutely loves some of the meals we've prepared! (His parents are being lazy and have prepared no meals and done no housework!) Also, they spend all their time on their phones and don't want us to engage with him because they say he should play alone. It's really difficult to see a child so apathetic and joyless. She's from China and I think their ways are different. What should I do???

phoenix Sat 09-Feb-19 14:30:19

Lavazza1st as you haven't yet had the courtesy to acknowledge the responses you received on the first thread you posted, also asking for advice, I'm sorry to say that I think you have a bit of a cheek starting another one.

PECS Sat 09-Feb-19 14:38:12

My Chinese Malay friends were very excited when their toddler child , still in nappies, tucked into duck feet!

Urmstongran Sat 09-Feb-19 14:42:09

Crazy post 🤣🤣🤣

EllanVannin Sat 09-Feb-19 14:44:27

Chinese and their formula, Mmm. Empty shelves of it in Oz !

Grannybags Sat 09-Feb-19 14:47:17

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M0nica Sat 09-Feb-19 14:58:09

Lavazza, are you sure your DiL is Chinese? The Chinese are like the Italians (with a name like yours I assume you have some Italian in you) they dote on children and spoil them and cuddle and handle them all the time.

Also a baby of 17 months fed only milk would be undernourished, failing to thrive and would have needed medical care by now so that Health visitors and Social Services would now be involved, and you do not mention them.

I assume you did not complete your Creative Writing course.

BlueBelle Sat 09-Feb-19 14:58:30

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EllanVannin Sat 09-Feb-19 15:07:57

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EllanVannin Sat 09-Feb-19 15:10:36

But I just thought I'd have a dig in support of our Aussie friends who are faced with empty shelves of baby formula. It seems to be an on-going trend !

Gonegirl Sat 09-Feb-19 15:12:49

Doesn't sound anything like a school kid!

Lavazza1st Sat 09-Feb-19 15:21:16

I am new to the site, don't know how it works on here and didn't get any notifications so I didn't know anyone had replied. Thankyou for notifying me, I will go and take a look!

Lavazza1st Sat 09-Feb-19 15:22:58

Yeah they just came to England two weeks ago. They only just registered with a GP and don't have a HV yet. It IS a crazy situation and I WISH it was fiction but it's not.
Sometimes the truth is madder than fiction, unfortunately.

Madgran77 Sat 09-Feb-19 15:30:48

Lavazza1st can your DIL speak good English? If so I would suggest asking her about Chinese culture and child rearing a genuinely interested way! This might help you to understand better what her thinking is in relation to your grandson

Also I am wondering how your son feels about this approach as presumably he was brought up in UK and has awareness that what you describe would not be the way in the UK?

phoenix Sat 09-Feb-19 15:38:39

You mentioned in a previous thread that you DIL was an interpreter/translator, surely a specialist skill that is in demand, and could be done from home? In between mixing bottles of hidden formula, of course.

phoenix Sat 09-Feb-19 15:41:54

BTW, you don't get notifications when someone has posted on a thread that you either started or have commented on, you phone/tablet/pc would probably go into meltdown.

You actually have to return to the thread and look.


phoenix Sat 09-Feb-19 15:45:51

Madgran I think we can safely assume that the DIL has very good English language skills, bearing in mind that on a previous thread Lavazza1st stated that the DIL met her now husband while acting as his translator/interpreter.

Farmor15 Sat 09-Feb-19 15:48:18

Hi Lavazza - I don’t think you automatically get notifications of replies to your posts here- you just go onto Gransnet again and look. Sorry you seem to have had a bad introduction to the forum, which can be very helpful. It’s just that sometimes a new person posts, lots of members take time to respond and then they are never heard of again and people feel they have wasted time.

Responding to your posts about the mainly milk diet, I think the person they might listen to would be nurse at local health clinic. You could also pick up leaflets about toddler diet and leave them around.
I have some similar concerns about grandchildren living in another country who drink a lot of bottles of milk a day and aren’t hungry for proper food, but I can’t do anything about it. They seem healthy enough and I assume the parents will eventually stop giving them bottles.

Gonegirl Sat 09-Feb-19 15:49:46

Well, I would keep feeding him little snippets of your meals if he obviously enjoys it.

I doubt if the follow-on milk is any less nutritious than cows milk. Probably more so.

Does the little one go to a toddler group, or a playgroup?

Jalima1108 Sat 09-Feb-19 15:49:57

But I just thought I'd have a dig in support of our Aussie friends who are faced with empty shelves of baby formula. It seems to be an on-going trend
There were empty shelves of everything due to the floods and food not getting through by truck EllanVannin

Is there a different problem as well with baby formula? (My DGC are older)

Jalima1108 Sat 09-Feb-19 15:50:40

just googled it EllanVannin - I hadn't heard about that!

Lavazza1st Sat 09-Feb-19 15:51:53

He was brought up here and he doesn't agree with the Chinese ways but they have been having marital problems and he is afraid to rock the boat.
The baby was born in China and was largely raised by her parents. She doesn't want to engage with me at all and spends all her time talking in Chinese to her family :/

Gonegirl Sat 09-Feb-19 15:51:56

On Mumsnet you get notifications of any thread that mentions your user name. I know because I keep getting someone else's notifications. Anyone know of a "lurker"?

Jalima1108 Sat 09-Feb-19 15:52:49

Wasn't there another thread about a baby being breast fed on demand and not having solids?

Perhaps answers on there might be helpful, I'll try to find it.

M0nica Sat 09-Feb-19 15:55:32

Most GP practices call in new patients for a joining medical check and the Health Visitor works out of the GP practices, so your DGC would also have a medical and a referral would be made to the Health Visitor, who I think will want to make a house visit.