17 month old being denied solid food

Well, after your goady post yesterday 23:37 Bluebell,
But dear Lavazz even though they are in your house it really isn't up to you when they put him to bed or what they feed him why did you have to stay up till 11 and be exhausted can't you go to bed and leave them to go to bed when they want?
No empathy to the OP what so ever!
The OP is working and running the household and would like some relaxation time in the evenings, in her own home.
Not to be told by you Bluebell to go to bed if she doesn't like a 17 month old playing with noisy toys at 11 at night.
Her Son and family have landed on her with nothing, no money, with a baby they haven't a clue how to look after, she is doing her best, under very difficult circumstances and if you haven't anything better to say than taking a dig at Lavazz then don't bother spouting on.
I'm pleased that your advice is slightly less acerbic, this morning, although is you've read the thread you will see that, of course it would be better if the Son and family had their own place but he has no job and they have no money and you are stating the obvious.
And yes! Son has been looking for work, if you'd read the thread you would know this.

2 weeks is a short time to have got anything feeling settled..let alone have a job! Though it was a risk your DS took to come home without having researched some options ! So much good advice above. Fingers crossed you can say what needs to be said without arguments ?

Thanks so much for all the helpful posts. I have probably been an idiot to allow them to come here at all. I was so happy at the thought of finally seeing my Grandson that I may have let emotions cloud my judgement.

Not an idiot. A helpful excited mother and granny who unfortunately was presented with something other Han her expectations! As were they!

I think they need to make an appointment with GP and get some basics established.

What a complicated tale this is.

Well, we know the littleun is healthy apart from a chesty cold, and what baby doesn't get one of those at some point? He's obviously getting enough food of whatever sort.

Apart from laying down some rules about quietness in the house after a certain time, can't see the problem.

But no doubt this thread will run and run... And probably turn into a bun fight. (Chinese buns?)

Gonegirl

Where's the recipe for Chinese buns?
Perhaps someone in the house could make those and the little boy could have them for breakfast.

Sometimes they contain jokes and stories don't they?

oh, are they the same as fortune cookies?

Well, you're the pudding expert Lily65
We'll let you make some!!

www.jessicagavin.com/chinese-steamed-custard-bun-recipe/

I imagine that a 17 month baby fed only milk would be anaemic by now. Please get the health visitor in to see the baby and mother.

I note they "don't have a health visitor yet". You need to talk to your GP ; an undernourished child is a child protection problem. The baby of 17 months should not be apathetic. Has it had its hearing test? Its vaccinations? I'd kick up a row if I were you with a view to getting better care for the baby.

Jalima that is the recipe I was just going to link to for you. (Just come back to thread) Sounds good!

Follow on milk such as he is getting would have iron in it.

I suggest make the cakes with the jokes in and then open a few in front of the baby. He will soon perk up and he can chomp on his sugar bun while you chuckle at the jokes. A sort of edible Christmas cracker.

I don't think there are any jokes in the buns.

I note they "don't have a health visitor yet". You need to talk to your GP ; an undernourished child is a child protection problem.
The baby of 17 months should not be apathetic. Has it had its hearing test? Its vaccinations? I'd kick up a row if I were you with a view to getting better care for the baby.

They arrived two weeks ago after presumably about a 13 hour flight, the child is probably jetlagged, caught a chesty cold (perhaps from a virus going round the plan), is in a strange house in a strange country with people who don't speak his language!

There is no point at all in kicking up a row (good grief!!) but he may in all probability need to see the GP to see if he does need antibiotics or not and to register with a GP.

He is starting to speak in English now, several words. Before they came here I asked DIL for a recipe to make Chinese steamed buns but DIL seemed offended and said they buy them, not make them! So, I didn't consider it worth persisting. I did buy the custard buns from a Chinese supermarket but he's not that fussed about them and my son fed him a boiled egg and soldiers this morning, plus a banana.

My son has listened to everything I've said and seems to be trying to feed him better but my DIL is now avoiding the family and staying in her room . To be honest, I'm not missing her company as she wanted to sit on her phone and ignore the baby, then criticise me for getting down on his level to play with him. I spoke to my son about that tonight and he asked me to look after the baby while he had a bath (DIL was still in the bedroom and when he asked the baby if he wanted to go to Mummy he shook his head!) So my husband and me had some quality time to play with Gs and he spoke many English words such as doggie, cat, banana and tomato. Not bad as he's been here such a short time.

Sorry this is so long, but I do feel we are making some progress now. If I were to write all the progress I'd be here all night Son is still doing everything, DIL avoiding the whole family. It will take time to build bridges and relationships take two, so I'll wait until she's ready.

GoneGirl, I'd not known that baby milk has iron in it, so I was mistaken. However if there is any worry about the baby not thriving it's far better to risk a row than to risk the baby's health.

Alexa

If there are concerns about the baby not thriving, the baby needs to see a medical professional. First of all, the OP isn't such. Children can be not thriving for many reasons. Secondly, a medical professional is an independent third party and advice will likely be better received.

Ok problems all over the baby’s cough is fine as we ve heard no more about that The much ‘disliked’ daughter in law has taken the hint and stayed in her room, the baby’s talking English whoopee and gran and dad are on the floor playing with the little chap. All is well
A very happy ending

BlueBelle
yes a very happy ending and baby is also eating egg with soldiers and DIL can now change a nappy. However, on the down side the dog has been sick and OPs DH is unwell.

Things are far from sorted out, so I see no need to be so dismissive of the op's concerns.

I agree MissAdventure - the OP's problems are enormous and I am shocked at the rudeness shown in the previous 2 posts.

Thanks Beau. I have told Ds this morning that if she continues to sulk, she will only hurt herself because nothing will change.
The fact is, he says she doesn't like our house and doesn't like our pets, but she knew about them before she came.

Personally, I wouldn't dream of staying at my parents house and criticising ANYTHING. All our kindness has meant nothing to her and everything I have done is thrown back in my face. For example, I had a baby blanket made especially for the baby and she (literally) threw it back at me saying it looked like a scarf. (It didn't!)

All other house guests we've had have been polite and thankful for our hospitality, but this one leaves me feeling that NOTHING I do is right. So, that is what I'm now doing. DH is ill and so am I, no doubt from all the stress. The dog feels better today at least.