Poorly grandchild.

I no longer look after sick GC. Used to, till they gave me the worst flu ever and I don’t go near them if they have a sick bug.

This all sounds like something out of a Dickens novel. Christmas Carol. Employers have to realise that if they are employing parents having sick children is a normal part of life and give them time off. Parents have to allow in their budget that they might loose pay if they have to stay home to look after sick children.

(Parents have to make sure they don’t abuse it. I had a friend whose employers allowed her so many sick days for child care and she took them even if her children were not ill.)

All careers hav to feel there are other arrangements if caring for sick children puts their health at risk,

The UK thinks so little of their children but they are our future

Not sure if it's me but I've read your post 3 times and am trying to figure out if both of their children are ill. You said they were at the hospital with the youngest until 1.30 a.m. but you had to be up at 7 to look after the other one at your house and you are fed up with all the vomit. The reason I'm going 'off point' for clarification, is, putting the child first, is it wise to keep taking he/she out into the cold if he/she are ill? Wouldn't it be better to take care of them in their own home until the weather is warmer. It's so cold at 7 a.m. still.

Just a thought.

Will solve your house being covered in vomit too.

When I was a single mum of three I always waited taking any of my leave until near the end of our financial/holiday year which happened to be in September so that I could take some leave if any of them got ill. Luckily I did not have to take too many days off every year.

I look after DGD when she is ill, too. There being two parents, I had expected them each to each to keep about 5 of their holiday in case of sickness giving the 10days of childcare in case of illness. Instead they take random weeks off for a break together.

I have mentioned this a few times (when DGD was not ill) but it does not get much of a response.
However they will call MIL and FIL when DGD is ill for too long who kindly travel 1.5 hours to help out and take strain of me.

It so much depends on your DiL’s job, how secure it is and how her boss is with time off. It must be that she really trusts you, have you thought about that?

I have and still do look after sick grandchildren and even have taken them to A&E or a GP if necessary. We are all different and it is how you feel about it.

Whatever you decide I’m sure you’ll be diplomatic and not spoil your relationship with your son and his wife.

My grandson luckily is the healthiest child I know and in the time he’s been born I’ve only been known to look after him once when he was ill ( chickenpox)...but looked after him three days a week till he went to school. My granddaughter is different... she suffers with asthma and has been hospitalised on two occasions and for pneumonia as well. Both parents and me took it on turns to stay with her in the hospital day and night. I have an invalid husband so my time was limited but we try to ‘pull together’ on occasions like this. She is very much stronger in past two years and incidents off I’ll health gradually dissipating as she gets more robust! I’ve also looked after her at home three days a week including whenshes been a little ‘chesty’. But her parents know I can cope as my daughter is also badly asthmatic and has been hospitalised 34 times!! So they know they can trust me to call ab ambulance if necessary! But I’m getting past the point where I want to be responsible for very sick children so I know your concerns. Both my SIL and daughter have lost their whole annual leave in the care of their sick daughter and yes , they take it in turns to take time off work! My husband would NEVER have had a day off work to look after our kids and I heartily spprove of fathers who do it. Their kids as well..... their responsibility. Unfortunately some unenlightened bosses are living in the way distant past!

My solution? Marry men who earn enough so that you don't have to work in the first place.
You can never get all those formative years back. So much missed enjoyment.

You don't say what your son and daughter in law do for a living. In quite a lot of jobs it isn't possible to take days off.

I was a school teacher and had to pay for a day off if I couldn't get a doctor's certificate saying I was ill myself.
Took paid days off when my father had to go to hospital and couldn't manage alone and went back to work two days after his funeral.

Lots of other jobs where the same conditions apply.

I always look after mine if they are sick. My DD doesn't have the luxury of getting time off for long-term child illness. If they had to go to hospital , etc, that would be regarded as an emergency and she would take the time off, but not in the sort of case that you mention. She'd lose her job and they'd be worse off than ever.

I go to the sick child's house, they are better off in their own bed and I don't have a messy house at the end of the day.

Unfortunately ajanela we don't live in a perfect world. I agree with Stella1949 if you are looking after sick grand children its best to do it in their own home.

I'm happy to look after them when they are ill, but DD's try not to ask if it's a stomach bug.

Breeze, the poster said she couldn’t care for the grandchildren at their house as she looks after another grandchild too.

I agree with Humbertbear we carefully avoid our GC if they're sick, fed up with catching things from them!

I no longer look after sick GC. Used to, till they gave me the worst flu ever and I don’t go near them if they have a sick bug.

Is it not possible to have the other child at the sick child's house while the child is ill. I really don't agree with dragging a sickly child out into the cold in the morning.

I live too far from both families as do my co-in-laws. My DSs and partners have had to find solutions to such problems and no doubt they have. All the GC seem to be in rude health.

Why exactly do people have children? Are they a commodity...something everyone needs to have? When I married, I chose to stay at home and be a proper mother to my children. The idea of someone else raising my children was totally alien to me. Yet people are quite happy to produce a child so long as someone else does the actual caring for it. How convenient when it's granny who is so obliging!

I would do, although DIL and DS have tried to juggle it (more difficult for DIL). They wouldn't bring a sick child out if they can possibly help it and I have been to their house when there is no alternative.

Both DIL and DD are proper mothers RosieLeah and SIL and DS are proper fathers too and do their share of the care.

When I married, I chose to stay at home and be a proper mother to my children

So all those women doctors, nurses, surgeons, the backbone of our NHS are “improper mothers”? Likewise teachers, nursery workers, care workers ?
You”ll be telling us next that a university education is wasted on a girl because what she should do is “settle down and have children”
Exactly which century are you writing from RosieLeah ?

Thanks MawBroon and Jalima1108 you are both so right.I really thought that "women should be chained to the kitchen sink" attitude had died out but apparently not.
Both parents, grandparents, nurseries, child minders, out of school clubs and loads of other people can be involved in caring for a child "It takes a village to raise a child"
And children benefit so much from involvement with people from all ages and backgrounds.

We were very lucky to have that option. Today's women do not. My husband earned well enough to enable us to take that choice and I was happy homemaking and fulfilling volunteer roles. My daughters do not have that option even if they wanted it.

But you have a right to complain
You've been there and done that...what if you werent around its clear you have had enough and need a break
You are right they both need to take responsibility
And its unkind that anyone should think your unkind too the fact you are questioning that it seems your DIL does not seem to want to take time off why should you be a dogs body grand child or not

Thanks Maw Broon, Jalima and trisher for your support of working women who are also mothers. I was one of those and don't see myself as having not been a "proper mother". Neither do my adult children.
As for the smug notion that women should marry men who earn enough to keep them and their children, well that's ok if wealth is the key motivator in searching for a partner. It wasn't mine and hasn't been the case for my adult children either.
Yes, we look after our grandchildren one day each week, plus we are the emergency services, along with the other sets of grandparents. My parents were my fall back if neither of us could take time of work to care for poorly children.
that's family life, isn't it?

When I was a single mum of three I always waited taking any of my leave until near the end of our financial/holiday year which happened to be in September

We are not allowed to do that. Nor are we allowed to take annual leave at short notice it has to be booked in before the rota is published.

I had expected them each to each to keep about 5 of their holiday in case of sickness giving the 10days of childcare in case of illness. Instead they take random weeks off for a break together.
Just not an option at my work.

Parents have to allow in their budget that they might loose pay if they have to stay home to look after sick children.

Its often not one days wage you lose if you take a day off. Depending on your contract type, one day off calling in because of a sick child can mean:
- losing future bookings/hours if you're agency/zero hours as it can get you "blacklisted"
- not being considered for promotions
- losing clients & future business if self employed
- losing your actual job if you're on short contracts that get renued every few months or if youre on probation.

And even if it IS just a days pay, a lot of people dont have a buffer between their income & outgoings so ends wont meet without a full months pay