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Poorly grandchild.

(95 Posts)
Bopeep14 Wed 13-Feb-19 12:32:26

A question for all of you who look after grandchildren while their parents are at work.
Do you look after them when they are poorly or does a parent take time off?
I am asking because my youngest granchild has been poorly now for going on a month he is only one, he has various things viral infection, chest infection, now tonsillitis, which he is quite poorly with, his parents were at the hospital with him until 1-30 this morning i was at there house looking after there other child so only got to bed at 2-30 am to be up at 7am to look after him. While i don't mind looking after poorly children i am a little fed up with my furniture carpet and myself being covered in vomit. My daughter always takes time off if her child is ill, i just find it strange my daughter in law would rather go to work.

Iam64 Thu 14-Feb-19 21:35:38

Well said notanan2. I was lucky with my work, which could be flexible or in desperation work from home. they always got more than my paid hours because of this positive approach. I'd had a day at home with one of our poorly 5 year olds but had to be in the office the following day. My husband took a days leave - his manager rang him very cross and when he learned we had a poorly child said "where's your wife?"
Children have two parents - don't they?

Luckygirl Thu 14-Feb-19 22:27:37

I think that parents should have the support they need to pursue their careers if they wish to; but it is a shame that those who would choose to be at home with the children often cannot do so and also pay the mortgage. An equally valid choice - but no support for them to do this.

I took 5 years off from my career and have never regretted that - they were precious times. But many could not afford to do that if it were what they wanted.

Deedaa Thu 14-Feb-19 22:46:15

DD is in a position to take quite a lot of time off for sick children (balanced by the nights when she is working till past midnight) but when I have had to help like kittylester I have loved a day curled up on the sofa watching TV.

SpanielNanny Thu 14-Feb-19 23:04:29

She probably did want to stay with him, as other people have said it isn’t always possible. One of the reason my dil chose to be a stay at home mum was that she’d seen how horribly her boss had treated her colleagues when they’d needed time off to care for their children.

Buffybee Thu 14-Feb-19 23:48:56

Yes! I've always looked after my DGc when they are ill and yes, my Dd absolutely hates having to leave them.
She's very grateful that I can jump in to help and I always look after them in their own home.
I always make sure that I take my phone to bed, in case I get the early morning phone call to rush over, for a poorly Gc.

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Feb-19 00:14:56

My daughter always takes time off if her child is ill, i just find it strange my daughter in law would rather go to work.
I have to add, though, that if there was a choice between vomit and going to work I would choose work.

I would never have made a nurse.

RosieLeah Fri 15-Feb-19 06:33:42

This is one of the reasons why employers are reluctant to employ young women with children.
Mawbroon, my daughter had a university education, but she made the choice to have a career.... marriage and children were not on her agenda.
I still stand by what I say...you can't have a career AND be a proper mother.

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 09:13:14

Iam64
FYI, I'm neither smug nor a money grabber.
When I met my ex husband, I had no idea of his income but, as he became more qualified, his earnings rose dramatically and throughout our 40 years together.
I was fortunate not to have to work and my mother didn't work either, in fact, my father gave mum a personal allowance so that she didn't need to ask for 'her own' spending money.
I doubt whether I would have had any children, never mind 5, had it been necessary for me to work.
2 of my AC don't work either as their partners enjoy good salaries.
It's nothing to be smug or ashamed about.

trisher Fri 15-Feb-19 09:13:54

What about fathers RosieLeah don't they figure in your happy families? My DS who has children shares the care with his wife and actually enjoys it. He was working from home the other day and looking after his poorly daughter. He settled her on the sofa, gave her a cuddle and when she dozed off worked on his laptop. Both parents can care for children and both can have careers. My DIL has worked hard to get where she is why should she throw it all away? Her children are well cared for and supported.

trisher Fri 15-Feb-19 09:21:31

GabriellaG54* I actually feel sorry for you. My mum worked, I worked. my DIL works. Three women who managed motherhood but knew that they had other skills and used them. We all had pride in our work and our achievements. Knowing that you can and do earn your own money is great. So sad you will never know that.

MawBroon Fri 15-Feb-19 09:22:49

Mawbroon, my daughter had a university education, but she made the choice to have a career.... marriage and children were not on her agenda.
I still stand by what I say...you can't have a career AND be a proper mother

While I respect everybody’s personal choice, (unlike you RosieLeah ) thank goodness the vital roles of childbearing and rearing are not left to women without education and thank goodness for all the working mothers at every level in our society. And thank goodness for loving grandparents who do not count the hours they give selflessly. I am sure it dies need me to say how much stronger the bond between grandchildren and their grandparents.
A husband/partner is not a “meal ticket” and the time may come when for whatever reason our daughters have to support themselves, I see quite a few women who have had to depend on their husbands income and are in dire straits when either the relationship breaks down or they are left widowed. And thank goodness for educated mothers!

Riverwalk Fri 15-Feb-19 09:33:17

Were you not a City lawyer GabriellaG54? Or maybe I'm mixing you up with another Gabriella hmm

annodomini Fri 15-Feb-19 09:47:06

In 'traditional' communities world-wide, mothers go out to work in the fields quite soon after children are born and it usually falls to a granny or other senior relatives to look after the babies. The extended family is, in effect, the carer.
I'm not an anthropologist, but I think that, taking a broad view of humanity over the millennia, RosieLeah's view of motherhood pertains largely to the 20th Century.

MawBroon Fri 15-Feb-19 09:47:24

And a nurse before that? Forgive the intrusion, but did you qualify as a nurse before or after the five children?

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:00:18

Riverwalk
Indeed I was but Trisher obviously does not know that I studied law through the OU during my marriage and later, gained an LL.M(Eur)
She also does not know when my last child left home which is when I decided to work. smile

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:01:39

MawBroon
Before I married...alright?

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:03:57

Were you not a City lawyer GabriellaG54? Or maybe I'm mixing you up with another Gabriella
Riverwalk I thought that too, as well as being a nurse.

Is there more than one Gabriella on here - am I getting confused

Jalima1108 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:04:40

X post Gabriella

MawBroon Fri 15-Feb-19 11:06:35

All right GabriellaG !

Riverwalk Fri 15-Feb-19 11:11:11

You were very lucky to commence a City law career in your 60s.

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:12:12

MawBroon
I've also worked as a life model at Liverpool School of Art (as was) a nanny in Betwys-y-Coed (two summers), John Lewis as a trainee window dresser (before nursing) and, during that time as a weekend petrol attendant in Maghull (where I met and dated lots of famous footballers)
I've also PA'd since retirement and have a diploma in proofreading/ editing from Chapterhouse.
Anything else? Blood type? Shoe size?

RosieLeah Fri 15-Feb-19 11:12:59

annodomini...people in other countries tend not to live in isolation, but in extended family groups. Therefore everyone is involved with the care of the children. They appreciate that the children are the future and it is in the family's interests to make sure the children are cared for properly. We in the West, however, tend to live as isolated married couples which brings about the problem of finding provision for child care.

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:14:09

Riverwalk, I *was not in my 60s when I commenced work. I said, when my youngest child left home to work.

GabriellaG54 Fri 15-Feb-19 11:18:33

Jalima1108
It is I who they are quizzing. Namely Trisher and MawBroon

Riverwalk Fri 15-Feb-19 11:19:10

Apologies Gabriella I was under the impression that you didn't work throughout the 40 year marriage.