Friends with adult children

But what can we do about it ??

I think just be aware if it. And if there is an AC you want to be in contact with, contact them directly and dont assume that just because you are getting cards signed from them from their parents address, that that is the AC's correspondence address, unless you are sure they livs there. Only reply to the person or people you KNOW lives there, and if you are fond of their AC try to find out their address or phone number and drop them a direct line.

God knows how many other people have thought that my DMs address was my correspondence address over the years, I only know about the ones I know about! I once broached the subject with her and was told that it was none of my business.

There may be other people who thought they were keeping in touch with me by replying to the address that the cards from "me" came from? Who knows?

I think its fine (and nice) to ask for or get news of ACs or write news about ACs. Its just misleading to pass regards that havent been given.

Unfortunately you cant assume that families communicate. Even many "close" families are terrible at communicating and passing on messages its not just a NC thing! If you want your regards passed to someone, best find out how to contact them directly.

I dont think there is any point in putting the writer on the spot.

Either they are being controlling and deceptive, in which case they'll probably maintain their lie

Or its a sensitive matter (like my friend who didnt like to admit that her OH wasnt friendly with her friends)

Or they don't see the issue and their AC know and are fine with it.

So nothing to be gained by challenging it whatever the motivation behind it

I have to admit that I have always found the idea of including the name of anyone that the recipient had never met a strange one.
Hence many of my cards sent over the years didn’t even mention my husband, let alone the children! (to colleagues etc)
Or is it me that’s out of step here..............! Hmmm ?

I do it, maybe out of habit. And yes, I used to add dog’s name to some. If they were a fan of him. But this year I’m seriously trimming card list. And signatures! Take too long.

There's no major problem with pets, some might find it twee but so what, if you are friends with an animal lover expect to hear about animals its par fot the course.

Its not going to cause any confusion or issues, no body is really going to think that fluffy actually sends his congratulations so carry on with the pet signatures if it makes you happy

I send cards from just me nowadays but at Christmas I include a 'round robin' letter with news of my AC too so that is sent from all of us - but only to friends and family that know them. What I find odd is work colleagues who write Christmas cards from X and family when I don't even know their family's names!

Notanan2 thank you so much. I agree that there is no point me raising it with the ‘offender’ as you say either fantasying or whatever so button my lip. And also about animal companions to those that know and like them ... well anyone. It reinforces the fact that they are your companions and no one is confused

I’d be very annoyed to find out my family were signing my name to cards!!

I recently had to remind my father that my family news was NOT to be shared with an aunt who apparently regrets cutting me off. He fussed and moaned, but she knows how to reach me should she actually want to make amends for abandoning our relationship, and blaming me for it despite me being a child at the time.

As an adult, if I want to send cards/keep in touch with people, I will.

I think this custom is very odd, especially when the writer says " love from..." when I'm quite certain the writer's children don't love me.

I think it is maybe the problem for the parents; not wishing to accept their children have grown or part with them perhaps?

I think we all know people like this? I used to send birthday/christmas cards to 'children' who are now in their 40's! married with children of their own ...and never got
one back from them but from the parents...still! lol

So I stopped including them...but parents STILL include them lol

Still....not a thing to worry about unduly. Each to their own...type of thing.

Thanks all, that was really reassuring