TenaciousB I too live at a distance, but not as great as yours, from my children and DGC.
I have so far decided to remain where I am as I am well served with services and friends. This is not where I have always lived but I came here about 20 years ago. I am a widow - widowed at 41. I am used to being on my own since the children left home. I used to see a friend almost daily until I found him dead some ten years ago. I may find physical things hard to manage but mentally I can manage without company so long as I have the dogs. I live simply because of coping with limited physical ability. This means I don't make elaborate meals but it's amazing how little we really need regarding food. I eat very simply and am very happy that way. My worst fear is dying and no one knowing to feed the dogs so I have an arrangement to phone someone at least every 2 days - usually daily.
I can see your dilemma about moving. It really is a very big decision. I did talk about it to my DD whom I thought was the least likely to move in the next 10 years and she said that she could not honestly guarantee that her husband's work would stay put. So firstly, check that your DC are going to stay where you might go to be near them!
You will need to look at budget. I have no idea of the price differential between your present home and possible future location but I am sure you have covered this.
I am well covered here for access to the hospital for example and although it is not perfect it is not a journey round country lanes. I am a country person and would live as a hermit in a remote cave (well... with some heating..) but having been in acute pain I know I don't want to have a long ambulance journey round twisting lanes. This could be a consideration for you. Think ahead to when you may not have your own car.
Friends matter but again I have made lovely friends in the relatively short time I have lived her. So much so that I do not want to leave as I like the people so much. You would undoubtedly make friends. But you do not want to stop contact with old friends, especially at our age. Have you talked to friends about this? Sometimes their views help.
My children, late 30s to late 40s, are all working Professionals with children in school. They have extraordinarily busy lives. Apart from work - and their husbands have to travel abroad too - they do a lot in their communities. I sometimes don't see much of them when I visit because they have meetings etc and their commitments are, imo a bit overwhelming. But it's the old adage - if you want a job done, ask a busy person! The DGC also take up a lot of their time in that they need collecting from school, one DD has children in 3 different schools as they are different ages and then there are school plays, parents' evenings, dealing with homework, games kit,- the list of organising the children is a full-time job in itself!
So - are your DC there to help you or are you going there to help them? When you are older will they be able to help you? Would you get on if they came into your day to day life to help you? With the best will in the world, and we love each other so much, my 3 DDs have grown up to reveal there is a generation gap to me, with different ways of doing things. They do not understand my life properly now I am disabled, possibly my fault for not communicating things well, but they do not appreciate the life of a disabled old woman living alone in pain. They can't understand the corners I am forced to cut because I can't mange to do things. The young can't take it in somehow. They find it hard to be objective about their Mum. I think they need us to be the strong dependable mum we always were. What I mean is, you need to look at your relationship with your children and see if it would work as you age and while they manage their families and careers. They are not the same people they were at 18, 25, or even 30+
As nannypiano says " so expecting to see more of family when living closer doesn't always work that way."
Regarding above - your relationship between the generations, I suspect you will get on fine because you sound able-bodied and have each other. I know a man who moved north to be near his son and that appears to work well despite the dad being somewhat demanding I noticed, when I was invited to visit, but as yet the dad is very fit and spritely.
I would try going down to the area for a good stay - hire a cottage if you can. Explore the area and get the feel of it. If you love it for its own sake then you will not be losing anything even if your children are so busy you don't see them as much as you hoped. It might be a wonderful move! I do think moving gives us a fillip. To move near the sea might feel like a holiday!
I have to say, if I could move to Scotland, and not just because of my life-long love of all of its beauty, but because of its politics too, then I would be tempted to go tomorrow nay today! However, the South of England can be warmer. I don't know where you are looking at but it is very pretty and in parts is stunningly beautiful. Property can be astronomically expensive e.g. Poole, and I have found some parts (my home ground - nameless) can be narrow-minded, snobbish about money, very right-wing and not afraid to make racist comments. That was my experience the last couple of times I ventured to a particular area in the countryside somewhere quite away beyond the south of London. I now live in the East Midlands which has beautiful countryside and wonderful people and I only encountered racism here when certain persons from the south used to visit.
I would try and get the best of both worlds - I like living just by the countryside near the city where I have easy access to both and can enjoy the glorious things my delightful little city has to offer! It brings me all the orchestras, the opera, indeed the music I love and I can park and ride on the tram using my disability scooter almost straight to my theatre seat!
Living south of London especially with the bad roads in the Home Counties, does not offer any of this. You have to get into London itself. Also every beautiful town has its run-down area too. There are very rich towns, especially in the South, with dire poverty right next to them in the poor area(s) and you may not know where these are until you do some research.
There are though, many places in the South of England that I would recommend as beautiful and friendly and I have friends who are involved in many musical and arts pursuits there. Before thinking of moving I would research everything about an area; from the Tourist Information to anything discussing issues about the area, cost of living, employment levels, crime figures, school records, hospital reports, medical provision, etc. I know employment and schools do not immediately concern us but the figures tell us a lot about the area.
I think GabriellaG54 makes good points and so nice and concisely!
Wishing you much good luck! Do let us know how you get on please!