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What would you do.

(45 Posts)
Bopeep14 Wed 22-May-19 17:57:12

I have been having a bit of trouble with a neighbour lately which i have been ignoring, but tonight as my son was leaving after picking up his child she was just going out with her male friend they started shouting and swearing at my son and me, calling me names etc. It took me all my time to stop my son from retaliating, we just carried on walking to the car and ignored them, this is what i need advice for as we walked past them they both smelt very strongly of something my son said it was cannabis i have no idea what it smells like, my daughter has also told me she has smelt it while walking past the house when she has the windows open. They both got into his car and drove off. If my children are correct he or possibly both of them are driving under the influence of drugs. Would you report them is it actually illegal to smoke cannabis in your own home? Advice please.

DoraMarr Wed 22-May-19 19:05:08

No, it isn’t illegal to use cannabis in your own home. I wouldn’t report them to the police, you have no evidence that they are incapable of driving. Best just to ignore them.

BlueBelle Wed 22-May-19 19:11:25

Once you have smelt cannabis you will always recognise it
I don’t think driving whilst using cannabis is illegal or smoking in your own home only supplying for gain
I d not get into a neighbourhood row I d let things die down or it could become very uncomfortable for you

EllanVannin Wed 22-May-19 19:14:45

If this couple are randomly calling out names and swearing for no reason and they stink of cannabis, then it is worthy of reporting as this " state that they're in " similar to a drunken person's habits then they're not fit to be on the road. Imagine them behind a wheel doing the same out of the window.
If it continues have a word at your local police station and see what they say. Do desk sergeants exist any more ?

DoraMarr Wed 22-May-19 19:28:45

“Driving under the influence” is a crime.
Why are the neighbours behaving like this? You say you have been having “a bit of trouble,” what is the problem?

Bopeep14 Wed 22-May-19 19:44:53

DoraMarr it all started a month ago when my grandchild was being dropped off she accused my grandchild's mother of bumping her car every morning whilst parking. Since then she has been playing loud music all day and night a few times hammering on the wall at all times shouting and swearing through the wall, blocking parking space so my hubby can’t park. Up to now we have just ignored her, we have not actually done anything in fact my hubby has in the past cleaned her gutters out cleaned her windows and topped the oil up on her car, she lives on her own so i really don't get why all of a sudden she has turned nasty. Up to now we have just ignored her, but shouting horrible things at me in public i am not prepared to tolerate.

EllanVannin Wed 22-May-19 20:12:16

Harassment shouldn't be tolerated. Because you're not responding it'll drive them more mad even though you're doing the right thing by ignoring them. All you can do is make a note of the abuse------date, time and area plus the nature of the abuse.

whywhywhy Wed 22-May-19 21:02:08

I would record everything, times, dates and everything they say. If it gets out of hand then go straight to the police. Take all of your evidence with you. Good luck.

M0nica Wed 22-May-19 21:56:06

Driving under the influenceof cannabis is a crime as much as driving while under the influence of alcohol is. Shouting, playing loud music and hammering on the walls, should be reported to the noise abatement team, especially if it is being done late at night or early in the mornng.

All these behaviours can be classed as harrassment and as others have said keep a diary of the time period covered by these actions, what the action is and the wording of any abuse thrown at you. Then go to the police.

The reason she has suddenly turned nasty is the effect of the cannabis. Modern cannabis, skunk, is a very powerful drug and completely changes peoples behaviour causing paranoia and eventually psychosis.

FarNorth Wed 22-May-19 22:33:08

It is illegal to possess and/or smoke cannabis in your own home.
It is also illegal to drive while having cannabis in your system.

jeanie99 Thu 23-May-19 01:17:50

You have no actual evidence to report the cannabis use so let that lie.
If you are being harassed I would keep a diary of what is happening with videos and photos and go to the police when you have enough evidence.
Don't take matters into your own hands.

Dillyduck Thu 23-May-19 09:30:12

I suggest that before your son leaves your house, when the neighbours are around, he turns on the recording facility on his phone and records the abusive language. Then he has clear evidence to show the police.
I once broke up a fight in a street by simply getting out my camera!

CarlyD7 Thu 23-May-19 09:30:30

My Mum had problems with her neighbours for years - it escalated to the point where ambulances would arrive in the middle of the night (!) and pot shots were taken at their guttering (also at night) as well as "silent" phone calls. She rang the local police station (not sure if you can do that now?) and a police officer came out and took a note of everything, and then, as he was leaving, he stood at the end of the driveway, by the gate, and shouted down to my Mum "I've got a note of all of this; if you have any more trouble at all, even just one incident, ring me up and I will deal with them." Strangely enough, it all stopped ...

jaylucy Thu 23-May-19 09:34:24

As far as the noise is concerned, it can be reported to your environmental health dept, but like others have said, keep a diary of the incidents and maybe even record it on your mobile phone.
I wonder if her behaviour is down to the use of cannabis ? If she continues to abuse you or your family, you can report her to the police for harassment - why should you not be able to go about your own business without it?

25Avalon Thu 23-May-19 09:36:41

Have you chatted to your community policeman? They can be very useful at sorting out neighbour disputes in a friendly manner by talking to both parties and acting as mediators to solve the issue without the heavy arm of the law so to speak. Cannabis apart, the neighbours are hurling abuse at you and your visitors and this is plain unacceptable and something that the community police may be able to sort out quietly.

NainFron Thu 23-May-19 09:37:59

I agree with DillyDuck. Record as much as you can of the abuse (perhaps with phone recording a video while in breast pocket of shirt?). Keep a diary of all events. Do not retaliate. Don't be dragged down to her level, maintain your dignity by remaining calm. Things will only escalate if you show your anger, and it would also be a bad example to give to your grandchildren. Police can only prosecute when they have enough clear evidence to succeed in court. Good luck... we're rooting for you!

sunnygirl Thu 23-May-19 09:57:02


sunnygirl Thu 23-May-19 10:02:51

Hi Bopeep14
I can sympathise with you. My upstairs neighbor smokes weed constantly. It filters down to me as she has no carpets, also plays loud music and is awake through the night thumping around. Tried to speak to her as I work 12 hour shifts and obviously need to rest in my days off but I was met with abuse. Phoned the council noise team who said to document everything and report each incident but it could take years to resolve.I just try and ignore it now, it’s difficult but don’t know what else I can do. Hope you get it resolved soon.

Psalmody Thu 23-May-19 10:05:45

I agree with the suggestions here of keeping a record of all incidents. The verbal abuse of your son does actually constitute an offence, so I would suggest you immediately talk to the police. I recently had a neighbour verbally abuse me and I did ring the police which they said was the right thing to have done. They sent a couple of PCSO's for a chat, who also said I was right to call them. They went and had a chat with the neighbour and the whole thing was sorted there and then.

Jaycee5 Thu 23-May-19 10:07:01

Speak to your Community Police Officer and to your Council. The Council will send you diary logs to fill in. Send them in as early as you can. Keep a copy and keep filling them in because the Council will probably write a letter and then do nothing more unless you contact them again with more information. They take a lot of pushing. It took over two years for us to get them to tell our neighbour that they would take action if she didn't behave - and this was someone who throws rocks at our windows at 3 am and pulled her 90 year old neighbours window out of its frame. You have to think about how your neighbours will behave if they receive a letter or notice. It takes quite a lot of effort on a Council's behalf to get a CBO (previously an ASBO). Alternatively they might use a noise abatement notice - this includes unpleasant smells. Include the smell of smoking on any logs.
Nuisance is a civil issue and that would mean you suing them yourself. You really don't want to go through with the cost and stress of a court case but sometimes a solicitors letter will stop it.
The best bet is probably the Community Police Officer but it will depend how good they are and how much time they have. It is one of the things that PCSO were often quite good at but there are few of them left.

narrowboatnan Thu 23-May-19 10:19:28

If your neighbour is in a rented house you could try speaking to her landlord.

humptydumpty Thu 23-May-19 10:23:10

I agree with narrowboatman, keep a record over say a month and then go to the landlord if rented.

Hm999 Thu 23-May-19 10:37:46

Is the house next door rented? If so, do you know who the landlord is?

Fee47 Thu 23-May-19 10:44:03

Could be growing it !! 🙄

Fee47 Thu 23-May-19 10:45:53

But just be careful cause you have to live next door and if they find out who's reported it could turn nasty step with caution ad say