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Child with possible ADHD

(28 Posts)
Mimiof7 Sun 02-Jun-19 18:46:48

3 out of 5 of my grandbabies live near me. The oldest is from my oldest son who passed away and the other 2 are not blood related but I have always treated them all the same. The two older children are boys and the youngest, a girl. The boys sometimes spend the night at my house and I try to take them out for day outings at least once a month or more. The younger boy (5) is non-stop rambunctious, talks constantly, and does not listen where the oldest (6, turning 7 in a few months) is generally quiet and generally listens. Every time they spend the night, the younger one starts crying and says he wants mommy. I used to call them and they would come pick him up but I’ve started telling him no and that we warned him beforehand that if he wanted to stay the night we were not calling his parents to come get him. They have no discipline at home and they come in tearing through the house like a tornado and touching everything without asking and I am constantly telling them to leave things alone that can be broken (ie my dad’s model cars, nick nacks, etc.) and constantly after them to not tear things up. The oldest does not behave this way when the younger one is not around. It is exhausting having both of them together. I don’t know what to do. Their parents take the stance that I can’t take one without the other so my only other option would be to not take them at all. My oldest grandson is the only thing I have left of my oldest son and not seeing him would be devastating to me. How do I get the parents to understand that it’s not that I’m trying to play favorites but this child’s behavior is out of control and it ruins the time I could be having with the better behaved children. I am not a fan of medicating children but I honestly feel it is actually necessary in this case. I am hoping he will grow out of it eventually but it is just so draining right now. I don’t mind the day trips but I would prefer to only have the youngest or oldest for overnights until the middle child’s behavior and self-control improves. How do others in this situation deal with this?

Minshy Mon 03-Jun-19 18:45:30

Poor poor children. What a chaotic life he is living.
No wonder he runs wild.
He’s reacting to his environment, you must see that.
My heart breaks for him.. and the quiet child too.. I’d worry about him too.. is he bottling up emotions? It’s not always right that a child is too quiet. I’d be worried about them both!

DoraMarr Mon 03-Jun-19 19:42:14

Florence64 your post brought a lump to my throat.