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Going away

(91 Posts)
etheltbags1 Tue 09-Jul-19 11:34:58

My dD and partner are going for a weekend without their dd. I'm having her for 1 night other gran is having her second night to be diplomatic. I know she will cry for her mum. I never left my dd. Does anyone think this is ok.

GrandmaKT Tue 09-Jul-19 18:46:13

6 years old? I thought you were going to say 6 months! As others have said, a 6 year old is easily distracted, and it's your job to do it! If she says she's missing her mum, just talk about what a fun time you are having and all you will have to tell mum when she gets back.
Glad to hear all the housework will be set to one side - it's your chance to have a wonderful time. Enjoy x

jura2 Tue 09-Jul-19 18:46:58

what is wrong with leaving a 6 year old with her granny?
Although I do believe changing 'grannies' mid week-end is just too much. One of you have her this time, and the other the next. Draw straws if necessary.

GrandmaKT Tue 09-Jul-19 18:50:36

Yes, I agree with that Jura2 - the OP will just be getting into her stride and the GD will be whisked away!

harrigran Tue 09-Jul-19 18:59:42

I had my GDs for sleepovers from being toddlers, it has never been a problem. Lots of hugs and bedtime stories and a CD player in the bedroom for music or talking books.
A six year old is great company, they are such chatter boxes.

Jane10 Tue 09-Jul-19 20:07:10

I well remember me and DH in the middle of the night trying to get a screaming baby DGS off to sleep. We were pretty desperate but then our wee cat Minnie walked in and stared at him and he cooed happily and went back to sleep. Relief!

etheltbags1 Tue 09-Jul-19 20:52:16

She has stayed many times since she was about 4 months. Im worried that when she sees her parents going off without her she will get upset. Normally she knows she can go home if she wants to but this time she cant. Maybe im to much of a worrier.

Lessismore Tue 09-Jul-19 21:05:22

ethel, take it easy because the wee one will pick up on this anxiety. There's no need for a tear stained farewell. Just reassure all is well. Perhaps avoid the parents driving off scenario.
It isn't really such a long time and a 6 year old will have some concept of time.

cornergran Tue 09-Jul-19 21:13:14

Don’t over think it ethelbags, your granddaughter is used to your home, no doubt has toys and ‘stuff’ that is hers at your home. She may notice the difference, my guess is she won’t unless she regularly gets taken home mid way through a sleepover. I also have concerns about the split weekend, but it’s perhaps too late now to suggest a change, maybe with her sleeping at one home for the weekend and joint care in the day. Our elder granddaughter never asked for her parents, the younger one did and although now in double figures sometimes still does usually when she’s expected to cooperate and doesn’t want to hmm. It passes quickly with distraction, reassurance that we love her, clarity about when she will go home, see or speak to her parent. Sometimes simply focusing on the next meal is enough. You know your granddaughter well, understand her needs, you love each other and she is comfortable with you. Trust yourself, all will be well and my guess is she will sleep like a top while you lie awake worrying. Please don’t let anxiety spoil this time together.

Hetty58 Tue 09-Jul-19 22:32:35

Some children stick to their usual routine, others just don't I find. One of my granddaughters gets upset about going to bed (I think it's too 'final') but is happy with a little bed made up on the settee. We can carry her upstairs later.

Another has to have the fairy lights on (along with the landing light) to fall asleep. I get in bed with them to read the bedtime stories and sometimes pretend to fall asleep (often nearly do).

The two year old stays up way beyond her usual bedtime when she's here and I don't bath her as she's a bit nervous of water. If she gets upset a walk in the pushchair calms her down. Her eight year old sister needs outings and lots of running around to use up some of her energy so we take the dog for an extra walk.

My other two granddaughters are fussy eaters so we eat out or they choose their own shopping and they like to watch a film. The teenage grandson just wants to stay in and eat vast amounts. I stay local so I don't get too exhausted as none of them sleeps more than six or seven hours.

janeainsworth Tue 09-Jul-19 22:43:14

ethel your GD will be fine, she’s obviously used to staying with you.
At 6, she’s perfectly capable of understanding ‘Mam and Dad are going away for a little break and they will be back on Monday.’

One word of advice - the first time we looked after our GD while her parents went away, she was absolutely fine - until the parents FaceTimed. So now when we look after GCs, we have a rule that the parents don’t FaceTime us, they wait for us to FaceTime them, which works much better.

Bordersgirl57 Tue 09-Jul-19 22:45:41

Lots of great advice - you'll have a great time I'm sure. I have a book which my 5 year old granddaughter has loved since she was little called "How to babysit a Grandma" she finds it hilarious.

I too would be a bit hesitant about the split weekend but probably too late to reorganise now. Keep positive - forget the housework and savour the precious moments - they are little for such a short time. Good luck

Humbertbear Wed 10-Jul-19 07:43:16

I left my children quite often. Originally with my parents , if we were going out on a Saturday night, and then we did ‘swaps’ with other families so that I could go on business trips with my husband. My children loved sleeping away and grew up I dependent and healthy. They went on school journeys without being homesick , my DD flew to New York on her own at the age of 8 to visit her auntie (DDs idea) and my son cheerfully lifted a backpack and went round the world in his gap year without me having any involvement in the trip at all. I think a parents job is to encourage their children to be independent. I really worry about my GD who never do sleepovers, not even here, and never leave the house without an adult.

Sara65 Wed 10-Jul-19 07:53:22

When my children were growing up, sleepovers were very popular, most weekends there would be extra children around, or I’d be off to pick mine up from somewhere

I don’t think they happen so frequently now, I don’t know why, my oldest grandson, now 15, stays over with his best friend sometimes, but the younger ones never seem to.

I think things were a lot more casual when mine were children, I used to like those days, an assortment of children, sharing beds, sleeping on floors, camping in the garden, doesn’t seem to happen anymore

Iam64 Wed 10-Jul-19 07:55:30

At six, she'll be absolutely fine. I agree with janeainsworth about avoiding face time.
Our 6 month old and 3 year old grandchildren arrive on Friday afternoon, staying till Sunday afternoon whilst their parents are away. Their mum offered each grannie one child but we agreed let's keep them together (and go to bed early on Sunday). Have a good time Ethel.

Hetty58 Wed 10-Jul-19 08:04:38

Sara65, times really have changed. When my kids were small there were frequent sleepovers while parents went out. We'd turn the living room floor into one huge bed for our four and the kids of another two or three families. So there'd be a dozen kids here and they were always happy in a crowd.

We didn't worry about them camping out in the garden, either, or leaving the back door unlocked all night. We'd never do that now!

crazyH Wed 10-Jul-19 08:07:07

My GC have stayed overnight many, many times. GD used to cry for her mother. One night I gave her, her mother's dressing gown to sleep with. She had her mother's 'smell'. That was all she needed to drift off to sleep. Job done .

Sara65 Wed 10-Jul-19 08:14:22

Hetty58

Happy memories, my children and their friends would spend weeks of the summer holidays sleeping outside with the back door unlocked all night, I can’t see my grandchildren being allowed that kind of freedom!

LullyDully Wed 10-Jul-19 08:17:32

No problem,. just enjoy her company. It should be an adventure for both of you. Just remember the glue, scissors and bits and bobs to keep her busy.

(I remember clearly, staying overnight with my old granny. Wonderful. We went shopping in Acton together and I put my few clothes in her wardrobe, folded up. Just the two of us, so special.)

Granarchist Wed 10-Jul-19 09:38:26

Gosh - I have just had my five month old DGD for the weekend and before that she was with her aunt for 8 days - easy peasy at that age - we had frozen breast milk in abundance and she was a joy. IMHO the earlier you do it the better so that it becomes the norm. You don't want a DGC having to suddenly come in an emergency when they have never had a night away from parents. If you expect her to cry she may well do so - just have a lovely time - make bedtime comfy and follow her routine - supper - bath - story - cuddles - bed. Enjoy it and don't worry!

Aepgirl Wed 10-Jul-19 11:32:49

They obviously want a couple of nights away on their own, and you get the opportunity of having your grand-daughter. Enjoy it.

Jumbo1 Wed 10-Jul-19 11:35:09

I have 4 Grandchildren under 7 and they have all stayed over with me and partner since they were babies.
They love to sleep over ( 2 at a time!)
and we all love it. I plan the events so that they are busy busy during the day
and then hopefully are ready to sleep when the time comes. I’m 70 this year and I haven’t had as much fun in years. They light up my life and never worry about being left without Mum and Dad. Start them early and enjoy!
As I’m new to Gransnet - can anyone tell me what all the abbreviations mean? I’m lost

mischief Wed 10-Jul-19 11:40:44

I think you are over-thinking it. My dd and husband have often asked me to babysit while they spend a weekend away. They go away as a family for at least 2 weeks each year but Mum & Dad have been invited to America for 4 days later in the year and I'm going to look after them. They enjoy Granny doing different things with them and I love having them to myself without their parents. Win, win. Yes, the first time we had tears at bedtime but I found reading a story and lots of hugs did the trick. The eldest is now 7 and everything is fine. Go on, enjoy.

4allweknow Wed 10-Jul-19 11:46:23

Only issue I can see may be the one night each arrangement. Can't both GPs agree one of you have her in this occasion and the other another time. Could be quite unsettling swoping about especially if you feel DGD will be upset. Had my GC for much longer at much earlier ages and they seemed to love it.

Mcrc Wed 10-Jul-19 11:48:03

First time at six? Our grandchildren were with us for 30 days at 18 mos. and 3 years because of divorce and son's deployment. She will be okay. You are worrying too much. they cried for their mother and we distracted, hugged and talked about it.

optimist Wed 10-Jul-19 11:49:09

My grandchildren stayed with me overnight often and grew up very independent. My grandaughters friend had never slept away from home until recently and became very distressed.