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Going away

(91 Posts)
etheltbags1 Tue 09-Jul-19 11:34:58

My dD and partner are going for a weekend without their dd. I'm having her for 1 night other gran is having her second night to be diplomatic. I know she will cry for her mum. I never left my dd. Does anyone think this is ok.

Mcrc Wed 10-Jul-19 11:49:51

Mischief is spot on. They had so much fun. We were exhausted but it was a special time.

Abuelana Wed 10-Jul-19 11:54:11

Gosh my daughter flew at age 7 from Spain into London to stay with my family.
And my cousins daughter at 7 flew to us from London. We have two very confident young woman... I always say each to their own.

CrazyGrandma2 Wed 10-Jul-19 11:56:35

DGS was six months old first time we had him overnight and we've been doing it regularly ever since. For many years now we have them to sleepover at ours as we find it easier and the parents get a night off and a lie in. The kids love it!

At 6 my DD has been known to have a little cry very occasionally at bedtime but she's soon settled. I just acknowledge her feelings but point out mummy can't come so she'll have to put up with me. That usually elicits a laugh and then it's all forgotten. I'm sure you also have the skills to distract. Enjoy!

Stansgran Wed 10-Jul-19 11:57:33

I agree about face time. The only time I had tears when I was having dgd aged 3 and I had put a good pic of her and her mum in a frame thinking she might like to kiss it good night( it was a2 month stay) big mistake. We had tears over burst balloons or no more ice cream but otherwise ok. She is now 15 and wants to come by herself. I found that when parents were going it helped if we left them rather than they left us i.e. We re off for a cup of tea for grandma. Which cafe shall we go to ? Worked for us as when we came back parents had gone. Doesn't work for every child.

Lessismore Wed 10-Jul-19 11:59:15

I'm sorry old foggie alert, forget Face Time.

knspol Wed 10-Jul-19 12:08:10

Might have been easier for child to stay at one place for both nights, less disruption for her. She could then stay at other GP's on next occasion. Enjoy!

Craftycat Wed 10-Jul-19 12:09:30

Good Grief. I have had all my 6DGC stay for weekends from very early on. Sometimes all 6 together. They are 2 sets of 3.
They love coming & if mum & dad do not have any parties etc. to go to they come anyway.
She will love staying with you. Get her making cakes with you& she'll be back the next weekend too.
Enjoy it.

Minshy Wed 10-Jul-19 12:14:02

Her overnight stay will be over before you know it.
Enjoy.. if she cries for her mum simply reassure her and comfort her.
Have a great time

Kim19 Wed 10-Jul-19 12:20:22

I think it's great for the parents to manage some time away on their own. It's further beneficial in that the GPS can enhance their own personal relationships with the 6 year old. Such an interesting and fun age. Mind you, I find the concept of 'one night each' a bit short and disruptive for the child. Could 'fair play' not be managed by a repeat in the not too distant future? Either way, I hope everyone enjoys the outcome. I just can't get enough of my GCs company. Wonderful!

Hm999 Wed 10-Jul-19 12:20:41

Can you build it up beforehand? Phone or text to find out her favourite DVD; does she like sweet popcorn or salt? Burgers or fish and chips? Can you take me to... cinema/beach/wherever?

TrendyNannie6 Wed 10-Jul-19 12:32:00

I never left my kids either n that was in the seventies eighties but things have changed so much now. I think it’s good to go here there everywhere they need to have some independence and she will love being with you n her other grandparent have fun

GrammaH Wed 10-Jul-19 12:35:20

I think you're worrying unduly ethelbags. I originally thought she'd never been away from her parents before but as you regularly have her, what's the problem? You say she's always known previously she could go home if she wanted to...what?? I'm sure you will both have a wonderful time as you usually do when she's with you. My 6 year old GS has been a regular overnight visitor since he was small, his parents frequently grab a few days away when they get the chance as his dad works abroad a lot. We don't have any problems, he's a treat to have about the house as I'm sure your DGD is

Laurely Wed 10-Jul-19 12:57:15

I left my own DD with my parents for a couple of nights when she was 2. She left her son with us for one night before he was 18 months old. Neither cried for their mothers. Both had good relationships with grandparents, had had what was happening explained to them (I counted out the days on DD's fingers), been told they would enjoy it and that Mummy and Daddy would be back. I think it is sensible for children to learn from an early age that they can be safe and happy with other people as well as their own parents.

EthelJ Wed 10-Jul-19 13:13:58

Keep her busy and distracted and have a lovely time. If there is going to be a difficult time it will be at bedtime. So try and make it as calm and relaxed as possible. Maybe take her to buy some nice bath bombs and maybe a new bedtime story so she can look forward to it. Be confident, matter of fact, tell her it will be a great adventure and that mummy and daddy will be back soon.
Have fun good luck

nanamac77 Wed 10-Jul-19 13:43:25

Whilst I don't wish it on her, if she cries for her parents that will be a really valuable learning experience in one sense. The lesson ill be that she wanted her parents but she managed without them and sure enough as promised, they returned ( no doubt with some little present too). Compare that with a child who is so cosseted and protected that she can't cope with going to Uni becasue she's never had to fend for herself! You don;t want her to become a snowflake!!

olliebeak Wed 10-Jul-19 13:47:33

I've had all 5 of my 7 grandchildren for sleepovers since they were around 2-3wks old. Of the other two, one was born in Isle of Man and the other is my dil's child from a previous relationship. So far they've all survived and I now have great relationships with them. The most recent is now almost 3 and I currently have him on two days each week to help keep exorbitant child-care costs down - but he'll be going to full-time School-based Nursery from September. Whenever, we get the 'I want my Mummy/Daddy' or 'I love my Mummy/Daddy.' phrases, I just reply that I also love them and want them but shall we do something exciting until they come back home. I LOVE to show them photos of various members of the family when they were small ........................ the expression on the face of a 2yr old when you show him a photo of Daddy at that age, is absolutely priceless ;-)! We make sure to take a photo, or video, whenever we spend time together - then 'WhatsApp' it to Mummy/Daddy - and wait for a response back.

granny4hugs Wed 10-Jul-19 14:06:13

I did not leave my daughters when they were young (other than for work). However my daughter and son in law left my grandson with me for two weeks and went on holiday when he was 20 months. Spent the first week potty training him which was INTERESTING - but hilarious viewing you tube vids for tips on potty training boys only to find so called 'experts' training kids who looked like they should be starting uni. Spent the second week having a total ball. Absolutely FANTASTIC. Usually I'll have him for a couple of nights on the trot when I can. Not often enough. There is a granddaughter now and i hope to have them both whenever possible. Paternal gran loves to have them to visit but not over night so no conflict.

Patticake123 Wed 10-Jul-19 14:37:02

Enjoy it. It’s a chance to indulge her. If she’s upset, calmly reassure her where M &D are and when they’re coming back. If need be, read her a bedtime story and then stay in the room with her until she nods off. I know this isn’t what you would have done with your own children but this is your granddaughter and you can do things differently!

Bijou Wed 10-Jul-19 14:39:35

I am going back many years. My six year old niece came to stay. She was perfectly happy until I put her dinner in front of her. She burst into tears. It turned out she didn’t like cabbage. Now at the age of sixty she still remembers that stay and the tent I made for her Cindy doll.

stella1949 Wed 10-Jul-19 14:55:32

I've been having mine overnight since they were about 3. I find that a good routine is the best way - lots of fun during the day, a long bath with lots of toys , and then pajamas and a really long story time. My DH can read to children for hours so that's his job ! They love it. By the time he is finished they are usually asleep.

Saggi Wed 10-Jul-19 15:20:52

Yes she’ll be good after a little cry. I’ve been having my grandkids since they’ve been 6 months old overnight and for weekends . They get used to it and learn to love it as nans are usually more relaxed than parents are. Hey get away with stuff!

Yearoff Wed 10-Jul-19 15:22:19

Do you see DGD regularly? I’ve had all of my grandchildren overnight since they were tiny (6 weeks old in the case if my eldest). My 3rd youngest stays over 3-4 times a month (she’s 20 months) as both her parents work shifts that overlap. I love having them and mostly they are fine. They don’t cry for their parents. I’m sure she will be fine and you will enjoy the special time together.

DotMH1901 Wed 10-Jul-19 15:39:36

My grandson was two weeks old when I first had him to stay overnight - my daughter was shattered and needed a decent night's sleep! Since then I have had all three GC to stay within a few weeks of them being born, and regularly, they stayed over weekends with me many times (bit different now as I live with my daughter and see them all the time!) I think it will be a nice treat for your GD to stay with you and that you will both enjoy it!!

jaylucy Wed 10-Jul-19 15:44:19

Nothing wrong with it at all. My parents had all of their grandchildren to stay - sometimes all 6 at once!
It's a special time between the two of you. Maybe you can have a chat with the other GM to see what she has planned so you don't do the same. At least a meal of their own choice is a must or take her to the movies, on a picnic or do something girly together!

sarahanew Wed 10-Jul-19 15:59:56

It's pretty normal. I've had my granddaughters a few times for my daughter and her partner. It gives them quality time together to keep their relationship alive without the responsibilities of their children. They went away for a week when their eldest was six months and me n the other nanny swapped her back and forth between our work shifts!