Going away

Sara65, times really have changed. When my kids were small there were frequent sleepovers while parents went out. We'd turn the living room floor into one huge bed for our four and the kids of another two or three families. So there'd be a dozen kids here and they were always happy in a crowd.

We didn't worry about them camping out in the garden, either, or leaving the back door unlocked all night. We'd never do that now!

At six, she'll be absolutely fine. I agree with janeainsworth about avoiding face time.
Our 6 month old and 3 year old grandchildren arrive on Friday afternoon, staying till Sunday afternoon whilst their parents are away. Their mum offered each grannie one child but we agreed let's keep them together (and go to bed early on Sunday). Have a good time Ethel.

When my children were growing up, sleepovers were very popular, most weekends there would be extra children around, or I’d be off to pick mine up from somewhere

I don’t think they happen so frequently now, I don’t know why, my oldest grandson, now 15, stays over with his best friend sometimes, but the younger ones never seem to.

I think things were a lot more casual when mine were children, I used to like those days, an assortment of children, sharing beds, sleeping on floors, camping in the garden, doesn’t seem to happen anymore

I left my children quite often. Originally with my parents , if we were going out on a Saturday night, and then we did ‘swaps’ with other families so that I could go on business trips with my husband. My children loved sleeping away and grew up I dependent and healthy. They went on school journeys without being homesick , my DD flew to New York on her own at the age of 8 to visit her auntie (DDs idea) and my son cheerfully lifted a backpack and went round the world in his gap year without me having any involvement in the trip at all. I think a parents job is to encourage their children to be independent. I really worry about my GD who never do sleepovers, not even here, and never leave the house without an adult.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ethel your GD will be fine, she’s obviously used to staying with you.
At 6, she’s perfectly capable of understanding ‘Mam and Dad are going away for a little break and they will be back on Monday.’

One word of advice - the first time we looked after our GD while her parents went away, she was absolutely fine - until the parents FaceTimed. So now when we look after GCs, we have a rule that the parents don’t FaceTime us, they wait for us to FaceTime them, which works much better.

Some children stick to their usual routine, others just don't I find. One of my granddaughters gets upset about going to bed (I think it's too 'final') but is happy with a little bed made up on the settee. We can carry her upstairs later.

Another has to have the fairy lights on (along with the landing light) to fall asleep. I get in bed with them to read the bedtime stories and sometimes pretend to fall asleep (often nearly do).

The two year old stays up way beyond her usual bedtime when she's here and I don't bath her as she's a bit nervous of water. If she gets upset a walk in the pushchair calms her down. Her eight year old sister needs outings and lots of running around to use up some of her energy so we take the dog for an extra walk.

My other two granddaughters are fussy eaters so we eat out or they choose their own shopping and they like to watch a film. The teenage grandson just wants to stay in and eat vast amounts. I stay local so I don't get too exhausted as none of them sleeps more than six or seven hours.

Don’t over think it ethelbags, your granddaughter is used to your home, no doubt has toys and ‘stuff’ that is hers at your home. She may notice the difference, my guess is she won’t unless she regularly gets taken home mid way through a sleepover. I also have concerns about the split weekend, but it’s perhaps too late now to suggest a change, maybe with her sleeping at one home for the weekend and joint care in the day. Our elder granddaughter never asked for her parents, the younger one did and although now in double figures sometimes still does usually when she’s expected to cooperate and doesn’t want to . It passes quickly with distraction, reassurance that we love her, clarity about when she will go home, see or speak to her parent. Sometimes simply focusing on the next meal is enough. You know your granddaughter well, understand her needs, you love each other and she is comfortable with you. Trust yourself, all will be well and my guess is she will sleep like a top while you lie awake worrying. Please don’t let anxiety spoil this time together.

ethel, take it easy because the wee one will pick up on this anxiety. There's no need for a tear stained farewell. Just reassure all is well. Perhaps avoid the parents driving off scenario.
It isn't really such a long time and a 6 year old will have some concept of time.

She has stayed many times since she was about 4 months. Im worried that when she sees her parents going off without her she will get upset. Normally she knows she can go home if she wants to but this time she cant. Maybe im to much of a worrier.

I well remember me and DH in the middle of the night trying to get a screaming baby DGS off to sleep. We were pretty desperate but then our wee cat Minnie walked in and stared at him and he cooed happily and went back to sleep. Relief!

I had my GDs for sleepovers from being toddlers, it has never been a problem. Lots of hugs and bedtime stories and a CD player in the bedroom for music or talking books.
A six year old is great company, they are such chatter boxes.

Yes, I agree with that Jura2 - the OP will just be getting into her stride and the GD will be whisked away!

what is wrong with leaving a 6 year old with her granny?
Although I do believe changing 'grannies' mid week-end is just too much. One of you have her this time, and the other the next. Draw straws if necessary.

6 years old? I thought you were going to say 6 months! As others have said, a 6 year old is easily distracted, and it's your job to do it! If she says she's missing her mum, just talk about what a fun time you are having and all you will have to tell mum when she gets back.
Glad to hear all the housework will be set to one side - it's your chance to have a wonderful time. Enjoy x

Fennel 6 weeks is indeed early. My first “duty” was when DGS was 4 months old and SIL wanted to take D away overnight for a spa weekend .
I think it is safe to say I did not sleep a wink that night!

ps @ Maw - I was called on Granny duty 6 weeks after our first grandson was born in Kuwait in 2002. The Indian nanny had been called away, son and dil had to go back to work .
I was terrified, but we both survived. I think it made a bond. DiL left breast milk to feed him.
I still remember the Muslim calls to prayer 5 times a day, starting at sunrise.
He's a young man of 17 now.

Most 6 year olds are easily distracted and can switch from miserable to cheerful very quickly.
There's the occasional stubborn exception though - who will probably turn out to be a leader in the adult world [grin}.

They have left it a bit late for the first “sleepover” haven’t they?
I am sure it will be fine but wonder whether the change of granny might be more unsettling.
A few weeks ago my co- granny and I moved into D and SIL’s house for the weekend (Friday midday t Sunday late afternoon ) while Mummy and Daddy had an anniversary weekend away. Easier to do it there so that the boys could still do their football and ballet, and GD her gymnastics. I was happy to drive whoever needed driving while other granny stayed at home with the others. Apparently all 3 children could not wait for what was referred to as “Grannies in Charge” It worked extremely well!
My world record granny duty though was back in 2012 when Paw (already not in great health) and I looked after the 2 boys, then aged 2 1/4 and 10 months while their parents went to New York for a long weekend. That was scary! But D2 and her BF came up on the Sunday and the nanny was there on Monday . But Friday and Saturday were long......Still scary because they were so far away. Enjoy!

We've had our DGSs for sleepovers and longer since they were babies. It's good for them. A little 1:1 time for spoiling and fun is great. Enjoy it.

I think a weekend is fine. It's good for children to get used to being away from their mum and dad for a short time - I think it makes them more able to adapt to different situations without feeling anxious.

Photos of her mum as a youngster are a great idea - it makes the connection without labouring it, and can be an excuse for stories about her mum that she can look forward to sharing.
If she says she misses her mum say 'I know...' and then talk about what she will tell mummy or other nanny when she sees them. We always like to make or do something that she can show or talk to mummy about. She is a good age for some simple cooking, and could make some flapjacks or cheese straws to give her parents.

You will have a great time. She's bound to miss her Mum at some point. Have some ideas ready to distract her from being upset. Enjoy!

Enjoy this special time.

Is she going to sleep in your bed, if you are alone in it?
Otherwise you could make her up a little bed in your room.
Mine always stayed from very young and would fall out over who would have the blow up mattress. The bed was not the favourite. She may grizzle at bed time, or during the night, but if you are nearby you can re-assure her.

You will both probably be tired in the morning, but that's life. Have a special breakfast and do something nice and she will forget her tiredness.

At least you have her first, she may be more fractious for the other granny!

You will be shattered, so make sure you have some me time when shes gone!

Ask your dd about her bedtime routine and follow the same pattern. I’ve found this helps. Also expect that she may take longer to settle than at home and just relax. Favourite toy and even her own pillow could be helpful.

I’ve looked after several of my grandchildren over the years. Lots of cuddles if necessary and have a lovely time. As others have said in other post, these times are precious.