Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

End of term gifts

(105 Posts)
Newquay Thu 18-Jul-19 16:34:08

End of term again and no doubt teachers will get arms full of “stuff”!
Eldest DGD has just qualified as a teacher so, presumably, she’ll be on the receiving end next year.
AIBU but why don’t they have a “gift box” and ONE card for each class for children/parents to (privately) donate to and write in the card. PTAs should take the lead in this-what do you think?

Minniemoo Thu 18-Jul-19 16:39:17

My daughter and daughter in law are teachers. Your idea sounds really good, but I don't think it would work. The parents. Some of them like to think they have given the best gift etc etc. One year the staff told the children not to spend more than £5 on gifts and cards for teachers at the end of the school year. Not one of them stuck to it!

wildswan16 Thu 18-Jul-19 17:07:27

This comes up every year. The answer is simple - the headteachers should ban the giving of gifts altogether. Teachers should not be allowed to accept gifts of any kind. No exceptions.

If children wish to make a card or write a letter then that is acceptable and is all that is required.

MissAdventure Thu 18-Jul-19 17:09:54

Well, they needn't worry about getting any stuff from me. smile
I don't buy into presents for every occasion.

Sara65 Thu 18-Jul-19 17:10:56

In one of my grandchildren’s classes, they have clubbed together and bought the teacher a spa day

My neighbor is a teacher and every Christmas she gets about thirty poinsettias

Cherrytree59 Thu 18-Jul-19 17:11:43

MissA 👍

Maggiemaybe Thu 18-Jul-19 17:23:23

Two local schools I know each have a PTA that organises an end of year and Christmas collection for classroom staff - they "ask for" £10/£20 respectively twice a year for each child. I couldn't disapprove more if I tried. For starters, there will be parents who really can't afford this (and shouldn't be put in a position of having to say so) and parents who just don't want to contribute, and again, shouldn't have to justify themselves. Beyond that, it's way too much.

The school where I worked set a top limit of £2 for anyone who wanted to give a token present and parents knew that OTT presents would have to be returned with thanks.

sodapop Thu 18-Jul-19 17:30:48

That is far too much Maggiemaybe what are they thinking or maybe they don't.

I agree with you Wildswan a blanket ban on anything except cards made by the children, it develops into one upmanship.

Wheniwasyourage Thu 18-Jul-19 17:40:10

For years I tried to persuade teachers to get the children to send one Christmas card each to the whole class and put them all up on the wall. Never worked. DS in particular had a class with several children who gave a card to everyone, and I never found out who some of them were (Kerry, who are/were you? DS never mentioned you in all the 7 years of primary school but you gave him a card every year!)

At least in those days there were some of us who stood out against it and just gave them cards to give to their friends, but I think there is more peer pressure nowadays sad

Wheniwasyourage Thu 18-Jul-19 17:41:35

Maggiemaybe, the top limit of £2 and the returning of OTT gifts sounds like a very sensible system. Wish it would spread!

Calendargirl Thu 18-Jul-19 18:21:06

Back in the “good old days” i.e. when I was at primary and senior school, I cannot recall any presents given to teachers. My own children, now in their 40’s, never took presents for their teachers, but neither did others as far as I know.
Where has this ridiculous custom sprung from?

SueSocks Thu 18-Jul-19 18:26:03

As a former teacher I never expected gifts. At secondary level it isn’t especially “cool” to give gifts to teachers. The things I really appreciated were thank you notes and cards from my students. They mean so much & I have kept every single one. I would have been embarrassed to have had parents & PTAs organise collections. I stipulated that when I retired I didn’t want gifts or collections. I was over-ruled at retirement.

silverlining48 Thu 18-Jul-19 19:17:52

Maggie our school PTA is the same but they want £25 twice a year per child for teachers’ gifts Christmas and summer. They call it voluntary but chase parents if they havnt paid up. Not everyone is well off enough to pay that sort of ridiculous amount.

eazybee Thu 18-Jul-19 19:20:53

I don't know why the subject of gifts for teachers arouses such ire in certain posters' breasts. Unless you are a parent of a schoolchild it is nothing to do with you.

As a child I always gave presents to my teacher, bought my mother because she wanted to express her gratitude to the staff; at secondary level we made a collection for the form teacher; when I left my parents sent a cheque to the school to buy books for the library. They didn't take my extremely good education for granted.
I bought presents for my children's teachers willingly, and during my career I also received many; none of them expensive but many of them very thoughtful.

I would have given the poster who 'tried to persuade teachers to get the children to send one Christmas card each to the whole class and put them all up on the wall' very short shrift. None of her business, nor the school's. Some children genuinely didn't want to leave anyone out, some wanted a card in return, most sent to selected friends. Their choice.

And finally; I and most of my colleagues, including T.As and dinner ladies, gave a small present and card to each child at Christmas, small eggs at Easter, and a usually edible, homemade, present at the end of the school year. All paid for by us; all done because we actually liked the children.

Cabbie21 Thu 18-Jul-19 19:26:36

The best thing a teacher can receive is a hand written card or letter from the child, to be treasured for a long time. I still have some from my former pupils. Few gifts were given, but I still use a lovely china mug and a tray, given by two very special girls. Another girl scored a real hit by making me a fruit cake, which was delicious. Most classes clubbed together to buy a plant or flowers.
It is not necessary to give gifts!

Grandma70s Thu 18-Jul-19 19:30:29

Letter and cards, fine. Presents, not fine. It didn’t happen when I or my children (mid- to late forties) were at school.

Sara65 Thu 18-Jul-19 19:31:31


I agree in part, it’s obviously lovely for a teacher to be appreciated, and nice for the children to take in little gift for a teacher who has meant a lot to them

But I also agree with Silverlinings, no one should feel coerced into it.

I don’t remember it being around when my oldest ones were young, and my youngest used to take in a small gift

paddyann Thu 18-Jul-19 19:42:34

My GD's come to me the week before the end of term and we make 6" cakes for teachers and decorate to suit .Well the girls do it and I supervise .This year one teacher was Harry Potter fan so it was a cake with school scarf and glasses ,one had a guitar made from icing on it and one was covered in daisies .They appear to like the cakes ,they get fruit cake at christmas too and share them in the staffroon.Costs around £5 each and the girls have a lot of fun making them

Pantglas1 Thu 18-Jul-19 21:00:52

I worked as the only female on a project for vulnerable youngsters from different backgrounds and at the end of my first week was presented with a huge bunch of flowers by one of my colleagues.

When I found out that the youngsters had been ‘persuaded’ to thank me for my efforts by contributing to the bouquet I stopped it stone dead. Some of those teenagers came from a similar background to mine and I knew how embarrassed they would have been in those circumstances.

Thank you is enough appreciation for doing your job, and if not, you’re in the wrong job.

harrigran Fri 19-Jul-19 08:54:33

I would not encourage the giving of gifts to teachers, some families with several children would be hard pressed to find the extra money. It wasn't expected when mine were at school.

GabriellaG54 Fri 19-Jul-19 10:04:50

No no no. They've just been awarded a 2.7% pay rise. They're just greedy beggars. If you don't like the salary then don't do the job. They know the salary scale at the start so change jobs if you want more money. No weekend work and holidays. How greedy can you get?

ayse Fri 19-Jul-19 10:17:03

I suspect these ideas have come from the USA together with the “graduation” party/ball. Whilst hand-made cards or letters are great, the buying of all this stuff is so unnecessary. Graduation-maybe it’s time to introduce “2nd Hand Rose” events? In fact, my daughter is seriously into re-cycling so I’ll suggest it to her.

oldgoat Fri 19-Jul-19 10:18:00

What a rediculous comment -GG54-.
Teachers don't ask for or expect these presents.

Brownflopsy Fri 19-Jul-19 10:21:43

I really do not understand why parents get caught up in this.
Don't feel obliged to get something just because everyone else is. It is not necessary and it puts pressure on those who really cannot afford it.
Just get a simple thank you card, if you feel you want to thank your child's teacher - or even better, get your child to make one. This would mean so much more to the teacher concerned.

Patticake123 Fri 19-Jul-19 10:23:00

I was embarrassed on the odd occasion my students gave me a gift, I was earning a decent salad and they were often quite hard up. What I loved to receive were letters and thank you cards. I’ve kept them all and cherish the time when I was appreciated!