Paternal Grandma

Enjoy the time you get to spend with him and don't spoil it by dwelling on how often your d.i.l.'s pops round; she's your d.i.l.'s mother after all.

My parents always ask us when they could come and tell us when they were arriving and when they were going. My MiL, however, expected to be able to come when she wanted, for as long as she wanted and would never tell us when she was planning to leave. She would stay for 3 weeks at a time. It was a tremendous strain and I used to dread it.

You are lucky to see your grandchild every week. I see mine every few months. Accept and be grateful for what you have and do not expect more or you will make life very difficult.

Sorry but first of all what is or who is AC.,
Now then, I know I'm a granny, I list both parents in my early years 4yrs. & 18yrs. Hence wasn't to sure how to play it.
When I married my MIL, appear at anytime, with, "it's only me" as she had a key.
Now I'm a granny, I'm in 7th heaven, but I don't go round unless invited, although DD & SIL, drop in as and when as has been said this is her family home & the door is always open.
I guess we have to take it as it is, some weeks we see DGS, every day, some weeks once or twice a week, sometimes weekends they just pop in.
Their family, so we take it as it happens.
I hope you manage to sort your situation out & your DH, comes to terms with the arrangement, you could always mention that it's hurting him. Maybe they think you only want to see them once a week.
Triciax

Its nothing to do with being paternal grandparents. Just how the relationship is panning out. I see more of my DS’s child because DiL’s mum has demands from her other AC (Adult Children) at present. I see far less of my DD’s child (who lives nearer) as she’s the only DGC of SiL’s parents. Their house is her second home and they pop in and out of each other’s houses all the time. It’s just how things are.

As DD says when DGD comes to us it’s a special treat, a planned visit with exciting things to do, not just routine. My other DD lives a three hour drive away. I only see those DGDs two or three times a year. But then it’s for a day or too as we/they stay over.

And we always arrange visits with all our children and never just drop in, even if passing the house. I phone first. They do the same when visiting us.

I'm the typical DIL I'm afraid so an only offer that side of things.

My mum I see at least twice a week. She has a key (still knocks though and never comes round if we aren't there). I don't mind her coming as she's helpful (will help with dinner or bath time if needed) has only just left the parenting era of life herself and has worked with children professionally so knows what she's doing.

My husband and I (as I think we forget that the husband is just as responsible in these relationships) parent in a similar way to my mum and she respects the decisions we make as parents. She backs us up as parents and we've both said how much we appreciate that.

My Mil on the other hand, opposite.

She just sits there expecting to be hosted when we have two children around. She ignores us when we say anything and if we need to tell our eldest off for something, she then proceeds to tell us off for it!

I wouldnt compare your DILs relationship with her mother to your relationship with her. As one poster said, your dils mum probably visits her daughter to catch up with her daughter. Not the grandchildren. I know this is the case with my mum. Also if you have a daughter, perhaps you see her and her children more than your daughters in laws do? But i do think dils should make the effort to see their in laws and ensure adequate visits are made. But it is unwise to begin comparing. Comparison is thief of joy.