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Breastfeeding perfectly but won’t bottle feed

(28 Posts)
Abuelana Sun 08-Sep-19 12:57:10

Help DD is breastfeeding GD (3 months) doing really well.
Partner finds giving bottle stressful.. so in fact doesn’t give her a bottle as sees no point as DD doing really well.
However, DH and I have her for a couple of hours twice a week. Practice for childcare when DD goes back to work. She does take the bottle but it is a bit of a struggle. Am I wrong to think that DD partner should be helping to make bottle feeding easier for everyone. Including our beautiful GD.
Help please...

tanith Sun 08-Sep-19 13:32:18

We’ve new babies in the family and I know my GD is determined to get the baby breastfeeding but will introduce the bottle too so that her partner can feed and she will be able to leave him with family in a few months without issues with feeding.
I don’t think you are wrong to encourage your DD to get him used to the bottle for everyone’s sake.

HildaW Sun 08-Sep-19 13:36:26

You might well be right, but heaven forbid you should say it!

Perhaps suggest Mum expresses so she can then use a bottle (and explain in world weary tones to her H that its the only way to get baby ready for child care scenario) and see what happens? Its devilishly difficult offering advise with a baby especially when it tantamount criticises one of the parents.
In the great scheme of things its probably best that you keep quiet about it but just be prepared to try a different range of bottles. Many years ago I had trouble getting a DD off the boob - after 6 months my body wanted to be alone. She did not take to standard bottles and teats but I found a weird one that had a very wide spread teat that felt more realistic to her, not sure if they are still available. But to be honest to be in for the long haul i.e. being a good dependable Grandma...you need to just be silent but supportive of all their efforts (even if you want to scream, PULL YOUR WEIGHT YOU PLONKER)

Daddima Sun 08-Sep-19 13:38:48

Our number 2 son refused a bottle. I thought it might have been because it was I who was giving it, so I left him with my mother while I went to the hairdresser. I returned home to an untouched bottle and a screaming child!
Mind you, in those days we were ‘ allowed’ to give baby rice etc much younger, and I didn’t go out to work, so I could escape occasionally!

PamelaJ1 Sun 08-Sep-19 13:50:58

Mine wouldn’t take a bottle so I put the milk in a cup and very gently poured the milk into her mouth. It worked. I think I started this when she was about 2 months old.

Tedber Sun 08-Sep-19 15:06:50

Just leave them to sort it out Abuelana. I would like to say IF babies are hungry enough they will take a bottle...but was proved wrong with one of mine! Despite using every shape, size and texture of teats plus perseverance and trying with spoons/cups etc ....he refused all! Some will adapt to both and others won't. Time will tell with yours but in meantime just leave it to her parents to suss out.

paddyann Sun 08-Sep-19 15:28:42

try a different bottle /teat shape.I think Minibo is the make recommended for breastfed babies that need bottle fed as its more realistic.I'll double check for you.

paddyann Sun 08-Sep-19 15:31:05

sorry not minibo ..this

Minbie - award winning baby bottle teats

minbie.co.uk

Septimia Sun 08-Sep-19 15:55:13

I breastfed DS. One night I had a stomach upset and DH tried him with a bottle - total waste of time, so I had to feed him myself anyway. I did start him with gluten-free baby rice quite early, but just mixed a teaspoon or so and he just tasted it.

I suppose, Abuelana, that it rather depends on when your DD is going back to work. If GD is going to be 9 months or more, there's plenty of time to get her used to a bottle. Moreover, the bottle isn't really going to be a problem because by that stage, if she won't take it, a feeder cup should supplement solids during the time that you have her.

eazybee Sun 08-Sep-19 15:57:49

Seriously, would you want a nasty rubber teat thrust into your mouth when you are used to a small soft nipple. neither of my children ever touched a bottle,; I breast fed to ten months and six months, and both happily graduated to a 'sippy' cup.if that is what they are called.
Depending on when your daughter has to go back to work, I would encourage her to breast feed as close to the date as she can, and introduce liquid in a cup rather than a bottle.
Both mine coped, and they both settled well at night so I didn't have to give several night feeds whilst I was feeding. It is a short precious time; make the most of it if she can.

SisterAct Sun 08-Sep-19 16:10:13

Totally agree with Tanith

Izabella Sun 08-Sep-19 17:31:12

Try a doidy cup. A natural transisiton from breast to cup without resorting to teatsI have used them with very young babies when working in hospital

notanan2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:35:56

Unless she is going back to work when baby is 2/3ish months there will never be a need to get it used to the bottle!

Breastfed babies from 6ish months on can have a breastfeed in the morning then have water in the day and breastfeed at night. No need for bottles.

notanan2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:37:00

I mean if they go to nursery/childcare

Once they can eat snacks and drink from a cup they can get all their milk needs at home when picked up. No bottle required.

notanan2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:38:03

Only newborns (till 4/6 months) who are going to be away from mum for more than an hour or two NEED bottles when away from mum if they normally breast feed.

jura2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:42:15

Are you feeding expressed mum's milk or formula?

You are totally right - dad should take over bottle feeding- as babies will more often than not associate mum's smell with BF. He is being 100% unhelpful- but I cannot imagine how you can interfere- at your peril.

notanan2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:45:41

Well bottles will be stressful if the baby hates it, and if the rationalle is to prepare for going back to work well that is misguided. A 6/12 month old can stay exclusively breastfed even if mum is away during the day.

If mum didnt WANT to breastfeed, that would be different

notanan2 Sun 08-Sep-19 17:46:48

Breast fed babies can be worse than exclusive bottle fed babies at gulping down too much and getting wind and distressed if they DO use a bottle too

annodomini Sun 08-Sep-19 18:34:57

When DS1 was around 3 months, we had to go house-hunting and had to leave him with sister-in-law. I knew he wouldn't take a bottle from me, but luckily he had no such qualms with her.

Grammaretto Sun 08-Sep-19 19:12:34

I had to get DS1 used to a lunchtime bottle at about 5 months when I went back to work, but it was devilish difficult. I persevered and he accepted it at least his child minder told me he did, but I continued to breast feed him morning and night until about 9 months.
Not an easy time looking back. He also began solids from around that time so he did not starve.

Witzend Sun 08-Sep-19 19:23:01

It was a struggle getting mine on to the bottle at about 5 months - I just didn't have enough milk and the endless feeding was exhausting- but they both took it eventually. Must say it was a great relief when they finally took a whole bottle and I knew they'd had enough.

Breastfeeding is all very well when it goes well but I do so dislike the evangelical 'Breastapo' who do their best to make any not entirely BFing mother feel guilty..

Grammaretto Sun 08-Sep-19 20:46:20

I know Witzend it isn't for everyone for all sorts of reasons. I was babysitting DGD . I was left with a bottle of expressed milk plus a cold bottle of ready meal aptimil.
Baby only polished off both! DD was a bit insulted 😂 she kept asking me if she had really liked it because she hadn't taken to a bottle before..
She just likes her food. I told DD she should be glad to get a good eater

ElaineI Sun 08-Sep-19 22:06:36

Many BF babies will not take bottle at all, ever and it is frustrating for them and worrying for the person trying it to make them. None of my DGC would accept any form of bottle. DGS1 and DGD used sippy cup and 360 cup from about 10 months - expressed breast milk. DGS2 was more of a worry as DD2 had to go back to work from 7 months and he refused everything - tried the sippy cups - all sorts, Dr Brown's bottles, syringes - was at HV for advice. Eventually he would drink from an actual glass. We had to take him to mummy's work to be fed sometimes. Now at 17 months he will take a bottle of EBM or full fat milk as well as water from sippy cup and 360 cup. Doesn't really need the bottle but just glad that he is drinking his milk! Poor soul has had the worst time with each tooth that eating anything requiring chewing has been a no no until the tooth is through so his milk is important.

SpringyChicken Sun 08-Sep-19 22:08:10

The technique for getting milk from a teat and a nipple are different, I was told this by my midwife. If the bottle is not introduced early, the baby may not learn how to get the milk.

It sounds like your granddaughter doesn’t know how to feed from the bottle. I’d try using a feeding cup instead.

Deedaa Sun 08-Sep-19 23:11:59

DS always refused a bottle, he wouldn't have a dummy in his mouth either. When he was about 10 months old he realised that drinking milk from a cup was much less effort than sucking it from a nipple.