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(81 Posts)
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gmelon Tue 24-Sep-19 00:01:55

I agree with MissAdventure.
My first thoughts were exactly the same as hers.

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MissAdventure Tue 24-Sep-19 00:01:52

It sounds as if you're having an a a awful time, smedleyswife but please don't judge your worth from how others treat you.

Has your husband always known just how to 'push your buttons', I wonder?

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Namsnanny Mon 23-Sep-19 23:54:56

smedleyswife…….Is this the first time he's inflated the drama to this extent?

To me (and I'm sorry if it offends), it seems he is looking for a fight!

He seems to understand you well enough to know that you won't accept his behaviour.

If that's the case why would he do this?

It's not so much what he has done, more his reaction to your feelings about it that is telling.

MissAdventure is on the right track I think.

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smedleyswife Mon 23-Sep-19 23:45:07

I’m devastated, he now denies he said people and he’s lied to me before. We’re not speaking and sleeping separately. My life seems pointless at present, I’m used as a very useful childminder by my children and feel dreadfully let down by a man I adore. I really can’t see a way forward

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MissAdventure Mon 23-Sep-19 23:31:44

I think its a classic manipulation technique he is using; "everyone" has said this or that about you.

He won't tell you, because its probably a load of rubbish he's made up.
Attack is the best form of defence.

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smedleyswife Mon 23-Sep-19 23:28:19

L is my second husband , we have been married 20 years. Recently he spoke to me very very rudely in front of my son and DIL and I was mortified and embarrassed. We had a massive row later when I challenged him about it during which time he said ‘People have said to me you speak to me badly’. He refuses to tell me who or when and it appears he did not defend me in any way. We don’t have any friends so it’s one of 6 people (all family) or his mother or stepmother. I’m distraught for lots of reasons:

He didn’t tell me so I could check myself
He didn’t appear to defend me
He kept a secret from me

I suffer from extreme anxiety and I feel like I’m drowning, I wouldn’t challenge the ‘people’ but at least I’d have a heads up so could be aware. I’ve threatened to leave him if he doesn’t tell me - he reckons he loves me but he’s fine with that .

HELP

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