deodorant for children?

I would suggest you dont take everything your GD says as gospel .Our now 10 year old used to tell us her mum didn't feed her .."I've had no breakfast granny ,mum said she couldn't be bothered making it!" Then I heard through my son she was saying the same thing about me ...lol.He knew the size of her breakfasts so he wasn't concerned ,her mum,also split from dad,didn't.She believed every word.They're trying to make you think you're the nice part of the family..not those other nasty folk.I take everything with a very large pinch of salt these days .If she's heard you say something not nice about her mum she'll be backing you up because she thinks its what you want to hear.

Can your son go for more custody?

I bet the mother's spiteful comment is really criticism aimed at your son. Perhaps she hadn't bathed, changed clothes or had her hair done etc. 'well enough' and appeared 'scruffy' to her mum.

I do wish mothers wouldn't call their kids fat. When my youngest was six, she wanted to diet. We thought it odd (being a skinny family) so I went to ask her teacher why she thought she was fat.

I was told that it comes from the other girls and they get it from their mums (this obsession with diet and exercise).

We laid her on some lining paper, drew around her, cut out the shape and hung it on the wall. We got her sister and best friend to stand either side of it. After careful inspection - she decided that she wasn't fat!

Blubelle No, the mother is a hateful cow, I can assure you. She didn't say it to me (I was in the car outside)or I would have told her off

Trisher thanks for that, I will do that.

Hithere Our GD already feels bad about herself, but we'll help as much as we can, to help her to know that she's beautiful, funny, clever and lovely.

I didn’t find any of mine had a problem till after puberty
8 is young in my mind but maybe the mum was saying it to wind you up

My son is a great Dad. He doesn't live with them, as I said, but he has his girls every other weekend, and after school every Wednesday. When the schools are closed, he has them for half of all holidays (he's got them all next week when they're off for a fortnight). When SHE wants to go out/is ill/works late, my son will go there and look after his girls plus their sister, who isn't his daughter.

Children do use deodorant. One of the problems when taking yr 4 (8-9 year olds) swimming was the huge amounts of deodorant sprayed about particularly in the boy's changing rooms. Girls tended to be more careful but did carry it. Not all of them used it but there were certainly quite a few.
I'd have a word with your son and make sure she showers and uses some on the day she's due to go back to mum. (who sounds a nightmare) Hope you are able to help your DGD cope with her.

I am so sorry, salsaqueen.
Mothers like this destroy a kid's spirit.
How is your son as a father? Having one sane parent helps a lot

Because my Grandchildren live with their mother, I don't know, but she certainly always has a bath when they stay with my son. They were with their other Granny on Saturday evening/Sunday morning, so I don't know whether she had a shower. She didn't smell to us.

The bitch mother has already been saying our girl is fat (she's tall and big, but definitely not flabby or fat) and she cuts down her food (packed lunches for school). Our girl told us last week that she'd ran around the garden several times in the morning and had done a YouTube exercise work-out, to burn off calories. I cried at that later.

My daughter started her periods at 10 so at eight she was quite hormonal and definately needed a deodorant.A lot of girls mature much younger now and it might be best to buy some toiletries suitable for her age .Dont make a big deal of it though as it might make her self conscious,just hand them over and tell her if she has any questions about them to ask.She'll be able to read the instructions though so shouldn't be an issue

I think deodorant is really needed only when puberty sets in - and particularly when underarm hair starts to grow.

Having said that, I agree completely with Hithere.

How often does your gd shower?

The deodorant is the least of your worries.
The mother's comment is a huge red flag that will impact her child's self esteem, if it hasn't happened already