Love letters ?

It sounds so sad burning love letters when they are part of your personal history, such a shame, but each to his own.

I think I would leave instructions with lawyer or executor of my will to destroy. I understand how you feel tanith, I suspect there is information in those letters you would not want the next generation to know about. Some skeletons, not necessarily bad ones, are best left in the cupboard. I know that I would not want anyone reading a couple of my teen diaries. At one stage I had something of a crush on a person who is still a dear family friend, who went on to marry, and have a very happy life, whose children are friends with mine. It is all very much water under the bridge and ancient history, but imagine the stir THAT might cause, when nothing ever really happened!

I would dispose of the letters.

I agree with nipsmum that the letters probably aren't of any real interest or help to others in the family so I would destroy them. They obviously had a lot of meaning to the writer and recipient at the time, but they were private and that's how they should remain.
I once had a French amant who wrote me the most romantic letters from Paris and I kept them for ages. Sometimes I think we give the written word too much meaning in our lives simply because the person is absent.

Oh Lulu I really feel for you and your DH suffering with MSA which I have had experience of. Do hope you’re getting help in-you SO need it. If I may, palliative care is the way to go IMHO.

I too found a bundle of letters from when we first met and I burned the lot. I didn't want my daughter finding them and reading through them all after I pass away. What was in them was private between me and OH and will stay that way. I found out after we were married that my mother and sister used to open my letters from him when I lived at home, read them and seal them up again. I was mortified, not because there was anything sexual in them but just because I thought they were private and should have stayed that way.

Hallo. Don’t get anxious as for three if my five I went over two weeks and all was fine. I hope you won’t have to wait too lo g before you meet your grandchild. All the best. Just relax and know this time next month he or she will be here!!

I posted about this recently. Recycled all old cards, letters. Whole big box of them. Probably giving someone a laugh at recycling centre! I was relieved to get shot of them in the end.

Could you copy them and download them to an encrypted file? Its not something that I could do but if you can or know someone who could show you how it would mean that you won't regret getting rid of them but no-one else could find them.

DH has no relatives apart from his children. When his dad died there was a box of ‘stuff’ that DH was instructed to burn without opening. We have since discovered his parents were not married, dad never divorced 1st wife and that DH has an elder half brother - somewhere - that he cannot find, very sad

just as Nico97 said I am also a widow and have put mine in a beautiful envelope and asked that they go in my coffin with me - and that will be the end of our love story.

My dad destroyed the letters between my mum and him written during the war but he did keep four or five letters written by the family to each other at the outbreak of war and they are fascinating. My DH and I have kept very little but I went through a ten year phase of keeping a diary, I reckon I should get them out and check them!

Some time after my DH died I spent a few tearful days re reading our letters to each other from before we were married and on the occasions we were apart after marriage. Then I burnt them and took the ashes to put on his grave.
I wouldn't have wanted my children to have read them after I've gone. They know we had a deep love for each other and that is enough.

mmmm I find it strange that 'famous' people have their letters and scraps, and laundry lists pored over and published as important - because they were important and yet we feel that letter by our ancestors are irrelevant! I would be very impressed if any read mine after my death! My mum entrusted me with her treasured letters from my dad, just before she died - because she knew I would honour them - Not embarrassing, a message from the past of her younger self I did not know of a person who is of utmost importance to me. Having said that I do a regular edit of what I do leave...much has been dumped.

I too have letters that my ex husband wrote back in the 60s. I have been divorced for over 30 years and don't expect my daughters will want to read them. I don't know why I've kept them , I don't even want to read them. Maybe over the next week I'll go to the cupboard where they are and get rid of them. They are of no help or interest to anyone but me. Maybe I'll read them and destroy them that would be sensible.

I am with Bradfordlass. Okay, get rid of anything too personal, or if you have been asked to, but a letter gives a voice to our people in the past. We still have one from my Grandad from Passchendaele. Very ordinary, but lovely to see how he expresses himself. And 'result' Fizzer!

Harrigran I too have kept all the cards from my family but I too am thinking of getting rid of them .
I have all the cards my DH has sent too -Birthday ,Christmas,Anniverasary,Valentine’s Day.
When I die they will all be binned.
Do I save my children the bother and do that now?

Nico97, you took the words right out of my mouth (keyboard!).

Hi Tanith, I had the same dilemma a year ago. I went through them all and decided to burn them. I have them in my heart and in my memory. Good luck with your choice. And do what's right for you.

Agree completely with Nico97

My DH has a life shortening condition and is very poorly. I am no longer a wife, he regards me as a care and service provider. I am disabled myself and like a GN in an earlier thread am running on fumes and adrenaline. However....DH is writing a daily journal that I am forbidden to read until after his death. He says that it is full of his feelings for me so why can't I read it now? He has changed so much due to this appalling condition, MSA, Multi System Atrophy .

NICO97. Excellent thoughts.

DH died last year, and I am not sure whether we still have any love letters, if we have, they'll be up in the loft, but I have a feeling we got rid of them when we moved house.

But I recently felt able to clear out my husband's briefcase and tucked into the back I found a letter I had written to him when he was away working in Zaire and Ghana in the 1980s. I had been left at home with our two young children and it was mainly news of what we had been up to, the weather etc, but with a few private bits from me. There were also two pictures in the envelope that DS8 and DD4 had drawn for him. I was so touched to think he had kept it, and once I had read it I tucked it back into the briefcase. The DCs will find it when I'm gone, along with a few family photos of me and the children that he used to carry around when he was travelling.

It seems my dilemma has given others pause for thought. ?

I have a big boxful of love letters my DH wrote me n poems I couldn’t get rid of them, we are still happily married I’ve never given it a thought what will happen to them when I’m gone, maybe they should be cremated with me