Toddler hairstyle too tight?

Keep stum. Keep friends.

I am afraid she is parenting her way.

Telling her your worries will always be seen as criticism. How is your relationship with her otherwise?

If (huge if) you need to bring up a huge concern (life or death type), talk to your son. He is the father of the child.

My Mum had a mania for tying my hair up in rags and I spent many nights trying to loosen the scalp pulling ones. Agony! I had (still have) very thick hair and it would be totally unmanageable. I think she was hoping for Shirley Temple and ended up with Wurzel Gummage

I don’t think, given you said she feels criticized by you, that you can say anything without causing hurt feelings.

She’s the mum, and this won’t hurt her. Try to let it go

I hate this trend of hair scraping.
I have step relatives that do this. All the females, regardless of age, wear their hair in this style. The older ones, being in their late thirties, don’t appear to have suffered any ill effects. I have never seen any of them wear their hair loose.
Why grow the hair long to then hide it?

Sussexborn I endured the night-time rags as well! However, it wasn't 24/7 and only if I was going out or having my photo taken the next day.

It’s interesting hearing different peoples thoughts on this - thanks very much everyone.

When our children grow up and become adults we have to allow them to make their won mistakes if any and certainly bring up their children in the way they think best.
I believe unless a child is in a serious situation we have to just go with the flow.
The best thing you can do is listen to your daughter and be a good support to her and a friend.
Please stop worrying about this.

When my daughter was one year old her hair was longer on the top than the sides. I used to make a 'top knot' and tie a ribbon round it. She did look cute.

Yes I agree with Chestnut ; that is the way forward - I’m still dreading bring it up though! Will try not to be confrontational as I really don’t wish to hurt her feelings. Just wish we could exchange views/ideas without feeling I’m interfering.

Hey GS! You must share share the articles you read about alopecia with your daughter in law. After reading this article may be she listen to your words.

I really wouldn’t say anything it’s going to put a wedge between you Sometimes you just have to accept different approaches I doubt if it will do the child’s hair any harm otherwise every child who had a ponytail would grow up with bald heads

GS please just leave it be. The fact that you are nervous to bring it up, tells you that you know it will go over poorly. Why strain an already tenuous relationship over something so minor?

I join the team of "don't bring it up"

Your son and dil already know how you feel about it and don't agree with you.
What do you want to achieve by talking to your son?

Don’t bring it up. You ARE interfering. The child’s hair is none of your concern. None. She had made it clear she doesn’t want your advice or input. If you persist in doing so, you very likely won’t see the little girl any more to have the chance to criticize her mother at every turn.