Nanny's comment

I see I said the same as BradfordLass - she is learning.

Being told she is silly may put her off attempting more difficult tasks because she may think that she will fail.

I don't like this. She's not saying silly billy in a jokey way. She's saying you're a silly girl. It's the same as telling someone they're stupid. I think we have learnt that saying things like this can affect a child's self esteem. And she's only two for goodness sake. Better to encourage and praise. I would mention it to daughter.

I was always taught that saying, for example, you are a silly girl, is putting a label on that person which eventually could diminish their self esteem. Better to say " oh what a silly thing to do"

She is not silly, just learning, that is true but how do you broach the subject without causing offence?

I don’t really like this either. It’s not like silly Billy in a jokey way, as annepl says, it’s just calling her silly. I also don’t like the fact it’s a nanny saying it. It’s not professional. Of course, even though you heard her use it a couple of times, it may be you were just unlucky, and it’s not used regularly at all. That aside, do speak to your daughter as it’s worrying you. I would want to know, and you’re only putting the best interest of a child forward. Good luck.?

Difficult to believe that nanny is perfect except for this one inappropriate word. Little GD will soon learn that if someone doesn’t know how to do something they are silly. So sad.

Isn't it all in the tone? As with Bluebelle...a "you silly billy" was never upsetting to any kids. A stern "You STUPID girl" is a different matter. We don't know how the words were delivered. Can't see how everyone would love this nanny if she was being nasty in any way.

My old dad used to call my children dipsticks, dummys, but all with the right intonation and a little poke in tummies followed by laughter..... Was that considered cruel? Not by my kids anyway....they howled with laughter.

Is there a cultural dimension here? You say your GC lives on the other side of the world - is the nanny from another culture? Asian?

My Indian relatives and friends often seem to use the word silly/sillybilly but it is a much milder term that your interpretation - more like oops/oopsie that won't work.

There are many different cultural contexts that come into play when you live in different countries. Language is used in different ways. For example my Irish relative tells her children off for "being bold" i.e. naughty - whereas growing up in England "bold" was associated with being brave or courageous.

Please do not say anything.
Your dd is happy with the nanny.
Your dg loves her
Your dg is thriving under her care
You like the nanny too.
So what's the problem?

You live on the other side of the world and you just witnessed a very limited interaction between them, not the whole picture and daily activities.

In the US, some parents refer to their young kids as "monkeys" - because the kids jump and climb everything.
The child knows he/she is not a monkey!

This is just an expression- same as silly girl.

I think you are overreacting.
Trust your dd knows what is best for her child.

I forgot to mention to please do not correct the nanny if you see something you do not like.

Your dd is her employer, not you.
The nanny will not follow your instructions or feedback, she will follow your daughter's