I'm so cross

Oops....posted too soon.

Dh had started breakfast and was full of beans. As we passed in the kitchen I said smilingly....... You know you muttered ffs to me last night....His reply was...""No...really ...did I really ....I saw every hour on the clock" "
And we went to the pc to check if his new medication had any side effect of not sleeping. (It didnt)

All.over and done with. He is going to mention his wakefulness at his next diabetic clinic.

We will continue to go to bed together and decamp to the other be on as necessary ??

Dear Coolgran, excellent result, cool thinking ?

Yes you are being too sensitive

We will all be having a little chuckle tonight imagining all the FFSs being uttered at an ungodly hour ?????

Coughing....its just one of those things that get to people when they are trying to sleep isn't it? Snoring...not so much. An elbow in the ribs or pushing the other person to turn over usually stops it but a constant cough can really drive a person insane in the middle of the night...especially if they are a light sleeper and it goes on and on. You say its likely to be a permanent fixture...if this is the case, why not suggest to your husband that you or he move into the spare room. No point waking eachother up constantly with snoring and coughing. You are both likely to sleep better alone. The kindest person in the world is likely to FFS when they are being kept awake. Don't get upset....just stop it happening again.

As and when coughing/snoring is a nuisance the back bedroom will be used.

Being such a poor sleeper with RLS and it's related insomnia I'm downstairs for several hours as it is.

We don't want to initially go to bed separately.

It was just the ffs that had made me cross and I accept that it was an over reaction on my part as no hurt was intended. It was mentioned and put to rest.

I would LOVE separate rooms but it’s enough of a drama if I go into the other room. Usually because I have the Occasional night where I don’t sleep so relocating means I can read without worrying about disturbing DH. He snores - frequently- praise be for earplugs which I would never sleep without. Perhaps try them then you won’t be bothered by the ffs! ?

Eat plugs and then I won't hear the ffs.

I'm another who also spends a few nights a week in our spare room when either myself or husband disturbs my sleep. Better to get some sleep than none. My hubby is a sweet man but he swears like a trouper in his sleep too.

I’ve written elsewhere about sorting my diet out and sleeping better as a result. That’s only half the story - four years ago I was sleeping barely two and a half hours a night in small bursts. I was working full time with a 40 minute drive each way. But I would fall asleep everywhere for brief periods, often not knowing I was doing it. I cut out added sugar and all bread, cakes, biscuits, sweets, chocolate and ate only ‘clean’ fresh and fairly plain food. Hurrah, my body detoxed and I started to res more, which lead to sleeping more. By not allowing myself to look at the clock, not getting up other than for a quick wee I managed to train myself to sleep again. I now have around seven hours a night without a problem. I’d also agree with the post about new synthetic pillows (I use memory crumb as you don’t overheat with them) and always having fresh air and not getting too hot.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'd be more worried about the snoring. I made my lodger go to the doctor about his - it was so loud! He had to wear a sleep monitor and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Now he has to use a CPAP machine to keep his airway open at night and ensure that he gets enough oxygen!

I so empathise! I cough terribly about 2 am,if my asthma is bad. DH snores every single night so I never have an undisturbed night. If he is really bad I decant to the spare room or sofa .
However , if I dare to cough and disturb him then I am greeted with chunters and moans and he never offers to move and let me have a snore free night! Grrrrrr !

We all grump when we are tired. Separate rooms way to go.
We each have a double bedroom with our own tv.
We sleep separately but often read together first or chat together in the morning in my bed. (OH has a hard mattress. ) We miss sleeping together but you have to be sensible. Losing sleep isn't good.

Coolgran65 - Just want to pick up on your cough which you say is likely to be permanent - you would not by any chance be taking Ramipril for hypertension would you? This is a drug known to cause a cough which is really debilitating, just at the point when you put your head on the pillow. If you are you can change this for any other ACE inhibitor - candesartan is just as good and there's no cough with it. Good luck.

I would not worry about the ffs. It is awful if neither of you get a good nights sleep and it will make you both tired and grumpy. Friends of mine now sleep in separate rooms. The husband and wife snored and she also had difficulty with Restless Legs. They sat down and talked about it and decided to sleep in separate bedrooms. They have never looked back and both have better sleep as a result.

Separate bedrooms is the answer here. I know of many couples who have this very sensible arrangement.
We are not at that stage but do have a single bed each pushed together. Nothing better that your own bed, duvet and space.

RocknRoll
Thank you. How come you all knew and I didn't?

Have never heard my DDH swear, let alone say FFS-just saying. . . I read somewhere once that if a cup is filled with sweet water, if suddenly jarred, it can still only spill sweet water.

I appreciate how annoying it is to be disturbed and not to get enough sleep but - my bed is big andhalf empty and my snoring, farting husband is not in the spare room. I would give anything to have him to cuddle asleep with even if he was noisy in the night. Being a widow since I was 51 has been hard. Bedtime closeness is so precious.

Both me and my husband cough, and snore if we roll onto our backs. We would never dream of sleeping in separate rooms, despite the occasional wakening from partner noise. I guarantee we would both sleep worse from being apart than from the occasional sleep disruption. We have been married for 30 years and can count on one hand the times we have slept separately in that time (always because we are in different places). As my husband says, he actually likes the snoring because he knows I am alive and well - and I agree with him.

Pp mentioned only spilling sweet water and that's the attitude I had when I got cross.
However in my dh 's real world his career was spent in the armed forces and swearing like a trooper comes to mind.

I cough. He snores - but worse than that - he talks in his sleep!

We were constantly waking each other up. Separate rooms now, and although we both miss having someone to cuddle up to, we sleep so much better.

When we have guests, however, we have to move back into the same room. Disaster! Apart from the snoring and the talking, he wakes up for a wee, and switches the overhead light on!

Lyndiloo disaster indeed. Having guests and not sleeping properly. We have that too. Not a good combination.

When we go on holiday, self catering, we have separate bedrooms, bliss! He coughs, I snore. He refuses to use ear plugs.
He falls asleep frequently throughout the day, but stays up late watching TV, wide awake from about 10pm, have slept through some of his favourite programmes earlier. Crazy.

At home, he has the second big bedroom as his study, so I don’t see why I should move out and he have the use of both big rooms.
However, I have shot myself in the foot now, as I have just converted the small bedroom into my study, though I have kept the single bed in it, so if anyone is going in there it will have to be more. Today the bed is covered in papers- must get it clear.
We also have a z bed in a downstairs room, with en suite loo and shower, ready for emergencies. He could use that.