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What on earth do I do

(56 Posts)
britgran Sun 08-Dec-19 18:19:54

I've asked for advice before, quick history.....my youngest son suffers from Bulimia because of this he has mental health issues, but he holds down a very responsible job as a Manager so is capable of making rational decisions....he left his first wife and child ( now aged 19 ) for his present wife ,and has gone on to have two more daughters aged 5 and 3, today he has decided to leave his wife and children, I don't care why but I'm raging that this close to Christmas he has left these most precious excited little girls, I realise I'm his mum and as his mum I love him, but as a woman I despise him and men like him. I know he has terrible mood swings due to the mental health problems and we have tried many times to help him attending family counselling etc. He's 44 yrs old is it ever acceptable to say I've had enough, what about my mental health.....I shall support my DiL and the DGD's 100%, we have a wonderful relationship with our 19yr old GD his first child

Lucca Mon 09-Dec-19 18:12:59

1. My brother also announced the end of his marriage a week before Christmas.... I love that you are so supportive of your DIL.
3.on another point the poor DIL will quite possibly hate Christmas from now on
And when she says she does other people will call her Scrooge. I have valid reasons to dislike this time of year and fiNd it hard when people call me Scrooge,without thinking ......I’m not!

britgran Mon 09-Dec-19 19:57:14

I'd love to reply to you all individually , today has been very stressful my DS called me and told me all sorts of stories about how terrible his life is and how vile his wife is...like a few of you have suggested I have thought for a long time that he is bipolar I've spoken to him in the past and he has refused to get tested as far as he is concerned he is fine and everyone else has a problem, he talks openly about the Bulimia and so we have had long conversations about the issues, he goes to the doctors and has medication but rarely takes it, he goes to a few counselling sessions then stops, one of the reasons he left his first wife was because she wouldn't let him be sick after a meal he said she tried to control him, so he would take the dog for a walk and be sick in the park, as I say he talks quite openly , he did leave his first wife for this one, but his behaviour has mirrored that of the first marriage which lasted 12 years he is very verbally abusive but this wife is much tougher and encourages him to get professional help and won't kow tow to him, he tells stupid pointless lies, it's got to the point where I think every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie, I don't think there is another woman involved but it wouldn't surprise me, I love him and in there somewhere is the smashing man I raised I occasionally see glimpses and it gladdens my heart but I'm also so tired of all this and I cannot help him apart from be here when he wants to sound off, he's just told me he has nowhere to go so will come and stay here from tomorrow, Lord give me strength smile

Aquariusb Mon 09-Dec-19 20:28:07

Thank you for caring for your grandchildren. My husband left me with three children, for another woman, and his parents never spoke to me or the children again. I never understood why?

britgran Mon 09-Dec-19 21:16:41

Aquariusb I'm so sorry for you, some people have no right to be called grandparents, they will be the ones to miss out, grandchildren are a gift from God

inkcog Tue 10-Dec-19 07:09:47

britgran, be very careful. If he a a job he has funds so he could stay in a hotel?
Have you found support for yourself?