I'd love to reply to you all individually , today has been very stressful my DS called me and told me all sorts of stories about how terrible his life is and how vile his wife is...like a few of you have suggested I have thought for a long time that he is bipolar I've spoken to him in the past and he has refused to get tested as far as he is concerned he is fine and everyone else has a problem, he talks openly about the Bulimia and so we have had long conversations about the issues, he goes to the doctors and has medication but rarely takes it, he goes to a few counselling sessions then stops, one of the reasons he left his first wife was because she wouldn't let him be sick after a meal he said she tried to control him, so he would take the dog for a walk and be sick in the park, as I say he talks quite openly , he did leave his first wife for this one, but his behaviour has mirrored that of the first marriage which lasted 12 years he is very verbally abusive but this wife is much tougher and encourages him to get professional help and won't kow tow to him, he tells stupid pointless lies, it's got to the point where I think every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie, I don't think there is another woman involved but it wouldn't surprise me, I love him and in there somewhere is the smashing man I raised I occasionally see glimpses and it gladdens my heart but I'm also so tired of all this and I cannot help him apart from be here when he wants to sound off, he's just told me he has nowhere to go so will come and stay here from tomorrow, Lord give me strength