rude or not

The multi store gift cards are missleading. They cannot be used in many of the stores they advertise thst they can. E.g. they say you can use them in WHS. But you cant go into a WHS store and spend it, you can only use it for WHS online.

Online shopping isnt fun for kids, they like to go into stores and chose things.

I dont understand the mentality of giving vouchers instead of cash!

How tactless! What a world we live in. What happened to common courtesy?

Good grief, if you can’t be honest with family, what hope is there? Your daughter is probably used to dealing with awkward teenagers and thought you would be fine with it. I’d far sooner my granddaughter had what she liked rather than a wasted present.

It was your daughter who was rude. It is not unreasonable to tell your mother that you don't like a particular gift but who would actually tell the giver that.
She could have waited until nearer the next birthday or Christmas and just tactfully say that she is at that age that she is very fussy about clothing and it is best not to choose that for her present.
It is better to know so that money isn't wasted but this was a very tactless way to do it. I wouldn't take it as anything other than a bit of tactlessness and perhaps next time ask your daughter what she would like or give her gift cards.

Did your grand daughter not thank you herself? I would have thought that at the age of 15 years of age she should at least have good manners and not hide behind her mothers petticoats

She could have waited until nearer the next birthday or Christmas and just tactfully say that she is at that age that she is very fussy about clothing and it is best not to choose that for her present.

She could have but plenty of people buy the next years presents ahead in the January sales, so maybe that accounted for the timing?

Personally, the mother of said 15yr old was very rude in sending you a message like that, and I’m damn sure I would have let her have it from me. If said 15yr old couldn’t say something to you personally, like next time grandma can you please not purchase clothing for me. Simple but at the same time, I wouldn’t be giving any gift card or voucher and your daughter would only get a fb message merry Christmas. There were the days my mother insisted every birthday she would send me a slip (petticoat), something I have never worn since I left home. Each year I would just say Thankyou, bite my tongue but would send it back to her for her birthday or Christmas and she was none the wiser. Mind you it did stop when she got dementia, she had forgotten who I was. I laugh at that, but I do live on the other side of the country and don’t get back very often.

When I was young I was nearly always disappointed with the hand knitted scarves, hats and gloves, there was no money but I always had to write thank you letters. With this in mind, nowadays with a lot of money and time being spent on presents, I decided that in our family everyone has to make a wish list of articles including shops or websites, colour and size, causing no disappointments or money waste and only seeing really happy faces of gc and ac. That being said there are no thank you letters.

I agree your daughter has handled the matter clumsily and rudely.

However, I think it is easier to send a gift receipt with the present in the first place. Things can be exchanged if unsuitable with no unpleasantness.

15 year old girls like to choose their own things probably.

Gift receipt every time where possible may be the answer x

Don't know where you purchased these items from but shops are used to at this time of year having folk return unwanted presents.Can you send the receipt so GD can change your gift to her own liking or get a refund .
Lesson learned never underestimate the tastes of a twentieth century fifteen year old.

Depends on how far ahead it was purchased Sarahellen

As usual replies would be more useful if the OP actually came back to clear up the questions like was it a private message or an open one, and does the OP tend to buy in advance etc

I always give a small gift to unwrap with a money card inside. My grandchildren (11 & nearly 4) love it that way!!

Maybe a bit rude - not very diplomatic, but I wouldn't buy clothes for a 15 year old - even PJs, and try and get gift receipts so items can be changed. Teenagers are not easy to buy for.

I would tell my daughter that her casual attitude was rude and hurt you. If you are going to go on giving presents you would like thanks for if not the present then the trouble you went to.

Some time before the next birthday and certainly before next Christmas have a chat with your daughter and decide what you are going to do about presents in the future. A wishing list would be helpful, so you don't again give something the young lady doesn't care for.

Kids are very picky these days, not grateful like we were for anything! She’s just being a teenager. However, your daughter could have been a bit more diplomatic. I always ask my daughter what my two granddaughters likes are, so I don’t fall into the same trap! Maybe for birthdays and Christmas you could ask what shops your granddaughter likes and buy her a voucher for there. Please don’t take it to heart, it’s not just you. X

Unless you know that a teenage grandchild has asked for a specific item then gift vouchers are the safest option. I rarely buy a present for my grandchildren (unless they have told me what it is they want), they appreciate the money and being able to get whatever it is they actually want. Yes, I grew up with odd presents from Aunts and even my Mum at times and never thought to refuse them or say they weren't what I wanted, possibly why I don't mind giving money/vouchers instead!

At 15 she could have told you herself. Sounds like your daughter is the rude and ungrateful one who hasn’t taught your granddaughter good manners. I would send a card next year and treat yourself instead

Never buy clothes because it might not be what they want. Ask before you buy. At that age you can give them money or give it to the parent to get what they want. Don’t fall out. That’s over the top even if the way you were told was abrupt.

I give both my teenage grandsons money transferred over to their own bank accounts.
That’s what they want as they always seem to be saving up for something.

I wouldn’t dream of buying presents for them now, as I’ve no idea of their tastes and preferences.

Most shops will exchange sizes and styles without receipt. Even give gift receipts if there’s nothing you want to swop for at the time. She could have said nothing and avoided upsetting you.
I think she was being very rude and ungrateful. I agree with those saying gift voucher next year. No one always gets gift giving to taste 100% of the time. Try to move past the upset, teenagers are a funny breed. Xx

I have a relative who is quite blunt re presents (and not a teenager, a fully grown adult) so I can understand why the OP is upset. When it's ongoing it comes across as quite hurtful and ungrateful

Send them clothes ....but , make sure you include a ‘gift receipt’... they can then change them discreetly for something they like . To be honest I wouldn’t send gifts to 15 year old.... unless a very specific request ! Gift card next year!

After this year I’m not going to buy clothes for my dgds aged 4 yrs and 6yrs. I have been asked to send back 3 out of 5 items I sent for ( velvet bomber jacket, leggings and a December birthday sweat shirt). I’ll just get a refund and give dil the money.

I’ll save money next year not buying clothes at all. They’ve got enough anyway, it’s just a pleasure for me buying them.

I’ve also spent love and time knitting (fashionable) things for them, but I never see them wearing them, so that’s going too.

On another note, spent a long time sewing a dolly with dress and bloomers for youngest one’s birthday. When she unwrapped it she didn’t know what it was! ?.
A bit embarrassing though, with dil’s family there with rather fantastic presses.....

I can imagine you are hurt. I have a 16 year old granddaughter and I would never buy her clothes unless I knew it was what she wanted - she is always grateful and would never say she didn’t like it but I’d hate to buy her something she didn’t like. So now she lets me know - and it’s a lot less stress on me wondering if she would like it