hugging

Alexa: Is it actually impolite to give someone a real lippy kiss when they air kiss one?

Save that for the space-invaders, then give them a knowing look, lol!

Hugging makes me cringe , I hate being touched ! But everyone seems to hug these days . I was at a work do yesterday and was hugged 3 times aagh .

Slightly different my DD and DS are all ‘kissers’ that is we kiss on meeting and leaving. Also DILs do the same. They also naturally kiss me goodnight when they go up to bed if they are staying over. (They are in their late 40s by the way.) Hugs are obviously part of the kisses.

I wasn`t brought up in hugging family, well one didn`t "back in the day!

my youngest son and dil are huggers, our eldest ds freezes, we tease him,, but his wife, dil is a hugger, the gks don`t
but my dh recently died, and our eldest gs came to me and so clearly wanted to hug me,, I was surprised, but yes, hugs are also said to be good for us... forget how.. but yes, I like hugs now.

I have never been hugged so much in my life as I have been since I broke my arm. Everyone I met said something of the "Poor You" variety and immediately threw their arms around me. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.

I hate hugging, and the presumption from huggers that one's ok with it. It's an invasion of space and privacy.

Oh gosh - I am always out of my depth on this. My family - barely ever touched each other. But it seems now lots of people hug mere acquaintances. I try to go along with it with good grace. I'm OK with daughter ending calls with 'Love you Mum' - how much I would have liked my parents ever to get near this... BUT the things I don't like - the over feelly hug from men - anyone guilty of that get frozen out, and the ones from clearly infectious people who blithely assume I love them so much I'm happy to share their bugs - grrr.

A couple of things make me smile about the modern hugging and kissing. One is imagining what my dad and DH dad would have made of it all and the other is watching our large son, SIL's, DH and other assorted male relatives getting into awkward clinches!

Hugging and airkissing is more hygienic than a handshake actually. You can do it without any skin touching at all. I just wish I didn't have one friend who always airkisses a real smacker right near my ear. One time it was ringing for a whole day

I think you’ll embarrass her by making a big deal of it and sending texts to explain that you’re not used to hugging. Just hug her next time, or respond if she hugs you.
If you like her and you have a good relationship, whether or not you hug won’t be an issue.

My Mil always hugs me and kisses my cheek and I hate it. I don’t like her, she doesn’t like me, it’s all fake (like the rest of her) and I wish she’d just stop it.

I'm 100 per cent handshake except for the special few who are greeted intimately. My shake is firm, warm and meaningful with full eye contact and - I'm always careful with my sword!

This thread has sort of lost its way somehow. It is not about 'hugging' in general' but hugging a foreign dil, a young woman away from home and her family, perhaps feeling a bit out of water (especially in the current circumstances in the UK), and who is used to hugging in her family. If hugging would help her feel more at home and part of this new family- I'd say making the effort and 'learn' would pay great dividends in the future.

You can teach yourself to hug, the same way you taught yourself that shaking hands was appropriate. I am like you I am not a hugger by nature but one of my daughters is, and I have friends who are so I have learned to hug those people who seem to put great store in it

My family never hugged. I can't ever remember my parents kissing or cuddling me, so the contemporary way of greeting, by kissing and hugging scared me to death.
I am gradually getting used to it however, and think if you can get over the embarrassment it's quite meaningful to have that physical connection with others.
Unfortunately I still can't bring myself to kiss my mum.

I was always way more demonstrative than my rather uptight (emotionally) parents. I would hug, kiss and say I loved them. They both found it embarrassing. Once I married and had kids...they got used to it as my kids like this too. They learnt... by the end of their lives they would put their arms wide as we arrived. I think they just grew up with not very physical parents.

Not for me unless it's someone fairly close, or I feel it would make someone feel better. No problem with children Nd grandchildren. When I see all the hugging that goes on during tv programmes, I always think that they wouldn't want me on the programme! My hand would be out front ready to 'shake'! Like some other posters, I feel that hugging is too intimate a contact with people you don't know well, or even not at all. Hugging often comes from emotion, so, for me, it's not a ' pleased to meet you' action.

Explain why it is not automatic for you, but that you enjoy it now.

I feel very uncomfortable with hugging,
It doesn’t come naturally to me, and seems very artificial most of the time. Of course, if someone was upset I would comfort them with a hug, but not just greetings.

I always cringe when I see t.v. Personalities hugging each other. Whatever happened to the handshake.
Much more my style.

My MIL wasn't a hugger, she only hugged me twice, first was when we got engaged (didn't think he would ever get married!) and when we told her I was expecting our second child. She hugged the GC so it wasn't a problem. I became more of a hugger when I joined Amdram, theatrical people hug a lot. DIL isn't much of a hugger, everyone's different.

I grew up without hugs. My family were loving but not tactile. I find it really awkward when someone leans in for a hug. I hugged my children a lot as I didn't want them to grow up like me.

Good to read some of these comments, always felt I was odd not having been brought up in a hugging family. So there are others around. Some sort of generational thing, but it's quite hard and makes me very self-conscious to do it now at my age. I sort of think the people who hug everyone, like a hello - it's just habit, whereas I would like it to be a bit more special and meaningful.

Be yourself - it’s how you are that she will love you for. After she has gone a lovely text saying how lovely it was seeing her etc - that’s every bit as good as a hug

My parents weren't huggers, but my godmother was a really cuddlesome little person. I love warm hugs and fortunately DS's best friend is a hugger, as is a lovely local lad who always stops to hug me. I think it's lovely!

Hugging all & sundry is far too familiar. As the saying goes "Familiarity breeds contempt."

Says it all.

my Dh came from a family that was in no way affectionate i thought it was bizarre, we always hug and a peck on the cheek when leaving , when i had my son i had to make him give him a kiss on the cheek he would of shook his hand otherwise cant do that to a newborn, 20 years later hes a lot better at accepting hugs and kisses but rarely the instigator . i find it quite sad he never had that much affection at home