hugging

It's a cultural thing, as she is Lithuanian.

Funny that this has come up today.

Yesterday I chaired a formal meeting with police, local council officials etc. in attendance and afterwards I bumped into one of the council attendees in the street as I was on my way to my next meeting and she was going back to her car. She looked a little upset and so I stopped to talk to her and during our chat she became quite tearful. She explained the reasons for her tears and, on impulse I asked her if she would like a hug. We were on the busy High Street, but she didn't hesitate and said, 'yes, please'. So there we were, in the middle of town, hugging until I felt her release me. Afterwards she sent me a text that simply said, 'thanks for the hug, it was just what I needed'.

In general I am a hugger, but I'm not usually indiscriminate.

grannyactivist sounds like a great thing to do....a hug offered at the right moment can be very comforting even to non huggers like myself.

Also, when I no longer have a DH, friendship hugs might become more needed.

It takes two to hug so surely she would have reached over to hug you and that would have reminded you? It's not your responsibility to remember to hug, she can always approach you.

I didn't grow up in a huggy family either.

My first son, even as a tiny baby, didn't like to be hugged.
My 2nd son was, and still is, a hugger extraordinaire

He never arrives here, nor leaves without giving me a big, bear hug (he is 6ft 7ins and lifts weights)

When he was in his teens I told him I would quite understand if he wanted to stop hugging when I dropped him at school, in case his friends laughed at him.

He absolutely refused and said they could laugh all they liked, nothing would stop him hugging his Mum.

Now I'm immersed in Maori society, it is the common greeting and anyone arriving late will go round the company giving each person a hug. I think it's lovely, much warmer than a cold, impersonal handshake (which originated as a means of proving you were not about to draw your sword).

Naturally, I (usually) put down my sword when in company!

I just feel that you don’t have to hug, kiss, tell people at every touch and turn you love them for it to be true.
My DH very rarely says he loves me. I once commented on this, he looked at me and said “You know I do”. Which I do, in so many everyday things.
I rarely say it to him either, it’s how we are, but doesn’t mean our love for each other isn’t there, or any less meaningful than if we declare our feelings for each other all the time.

I was never hugged or kissed as a child and can't remember ever doing it as a young adult.
It now seems mandatory even if you have just met someone.
My BIL does not do hugs and even after 54 years still shakes hands.

I come from a family who always gave/received hugs.
And friends do too.
My DIL said when we first met many years ago that she never had hugs from anyone other than her parents and she loved it when I gave her a hug it made her feel welcome.
And we hug all the time on meeting then on leaving even when I see her at where she works.

I haven't been hugged since DH died (he was a great hugger!) and I miss it. None of my friends are huggers and would be horrified if I tried to hug them.

I am a hugger. Daughters and I hug and kiss on meeting and leaving and so do close friends. A few people at church who I know well hug at the giving of the peace others shake hands I don’t mind either. Grandchildren sometimes like to be cuddled sometimes “put up” with a quick hug from me. I just go with the flow and how comfortable the other person is. I think hugging is much warmer

My GD is a hugger and I just go with it. Like many other posters my parents and family weren't huggers and I don't hug unless invited. So I was surprised that GD's lovely boyfriend also gave me a hug when they came round. I found that very touching because he's never done that before.

My Son in law gives me an official once a year hug at Christmas! He knows me so well.

I look forward to seeing my grandsons. The youngest one, now 12 and much bigger than me, hugs like a grizzly and if he gets much stronger, I will fear for my ribs. Both my sons and all the GC like a hug and so do I.

I was never brought up to be a hugger or a " show-er " of emotions. I came from the original stiff upper-lip " be brave " family so it took years to get into this overly friendly mode.

My lifelong friends and myself have always greeted each other with hugs as the 5 of us have special friendships over many years, 4 of us becoming widows over the years has also kept the friendship cemented.

GS's are very forthcoming with their hugs too. I was quite overwhelmed at Christmas and it was so nice.

My MIL doesn’t hug but insists on the silly ‘two kiss’ ritual.
I don’t like it and tend to be busy when she arrives or leaves.
Sorry, not about hugs but feel better for saying it.

Do you want to hug? There's no law that says you have to - if it makes you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. No-one has the right to force physical contact of any sort on you and if it doesn't feel right, natural or comfortable then don't feel you have to

May i ask why you are so worried?

In my group of friends, some are huggers, some are kissers, some are "keep the distance and say hi"
By body language and observation, we know who prefers what and we follow it. No offense taken.

Exactly Hetty58 - your DIL is a long way from home, and perhaps misses her family terribly. So if hugging is what she yearns for, surely hugging her will help with bonding. Especially at the moment.

Of course you don't have to - but if it will help her and your relationship - why keep the 'cold British stiff peer lip' ? I don't get it.

My own family were about as unhuggy as you can get. So I have become a hugger!

We have never really been a family of huggers until the younger members got to the age of greeting you rather than disappearing asap lol. Our nephews/nieces all greet with a hug, and even some of my sons friends who I've known since they were all at school, now give a hug to say hello.
Even the chaps give each other a sort of half hug half handshake these days.

I expect your dil realises that your family are not naturally people to give a hug and no doubt she will not feel offended.

* Place a box of £20 notes near your front door.
* Take £20 each time you hug your DIL hello and goodbye.
* You will benefit greatly from the oxytocin released whilst
huggng.
* You will have a new wardrobe in no time as well!

I like hugging people but always forget it's not supposed to be a real hug and a real kiss skin to skin/ Is it actually impolite to give someone a real lippy kiss when they air kiss one?

I have always thought it really nice to hug someone you love or at least very good friends with. I like to hug and enjoy receiving a hug back. It is certainly not meaningless to me.

Alexa, surely it depends on your country or culture. We kiss 3 times here always, and definitely skin to skin.