How much to give?

Cover your plates. Take the venue into account. Has she sent a menu card? How much would you pay for the food. Anything she's serving, you should try to cover. That's the rule of thumb. If you can't afford it and don't really care about her that much, just don't go and save your money.

Farmor15 ...you do realize a person has to die for that to happen...

When we go to weddings we have to take into account cost of two nights hotel, two nights dog care ( at one time for three dogs!) plus new clothes and wedding present.

Between £30 and £50.

Give how much you can afford to give. It’s really pointless asking others how much they think is appropriate as £10 to one person might feel like £100 or more to someone else.

Where I live average wages are very low and people just don’t expect so much.

The lucky couple should not judge who gave how much but be happy that a few people gave what they could.

Good post gillybob, very true indeed.

I’m surprised about all the ‘covering your plate’ suggestion as I haven’t come across it before. Not sure I agree it with either. Most guests have no say about the size and lavishness of a wedding and I don’t think it’s right to expect or give a present which is in line with the cost of the wedding.

A wedding invitation can be a costly thing to receive (apart from the gift) because of clothes, transport, accommmodation and so on so I think it should be completely up to the guest how much they spend on a present. People’s pockets aren’t the same depth!

I don’t think I’d give more than £50 to someone I had no real regular contact with and probably less.

I've been to a few wedding in the last couple of years, and usually give 50 pounds. If it's someone who was very close to me, I'd give more. I think the 'covering the cost of your plate' is a cultural thing, certainly where I live anyway. It was never a British thing, but maybe these days with weddings being so expensive, some people expect it. Still, I'd just give whatever I could afford. It's up to the couple whether they have a lavish wedding reception, or a buffet in the local pub.

I usually give £100 if going to the whole wedding; if just going to the evening 'do', then £25.00 voucher.

Have been invited to the wedding of a niece this summer, but won't be able to go as I shall be on holiday. Haven't seen this niece since DD's wedding eight years ago, and before that it was 2001 at another family wedding. Apart from that have had no contact from her at all, but I do send her birthday and Christmas cards every year.
Was wondering what to do about a gift, but think it will be money, so will probably split the difference and send £75. (Her elder sister got £50 from us 20 years ago, and still waiting for the thank you for it...).

A thoughtful gift? It might seem thoughtful to the giver but my mother had a cupboard full of china pigeons and other very strange things, including hideous vases. Obviously our family had terrible taste and not much idea of what was useful as 30 years later I was given pink flannelette sheets and an assortment of decanters from people who had paid no regard to the list (which contained a lot of inexpensive items). I think it is far easier to give money, and I'd much prefer to do that than have to order a present. With money you know that whatever it is spent on will be something that brings the couple some pleasure.

How very sad if people are expected to cover their plates nowadays. My DC have had very different weddings, from a castle to a barn to a very basic registry office. They’ve been appreciative of (and thanked people properly for) any gifts given, whatever the cost, and I haven’t noticed that one has got more than another because they’ve chosen a more lavish celebration. Guests have been invited because they wanted them there to share the day, not because of what they can give.

Perhaps some people should just set up a payment kiosk at the door of the venue and have done with it?