grandchild

Its good for a child to have one back up place where they are comfortable going in emergancies.

Its not good for a young child to be passed about to multiple houses overnight. Just so others get their "turn". Thats all about the adults not the child

Push this issue and they may distance from you.

Oh does she stay over too then? Grandchild doesn’t stay over alone? That’s totally normal!

What do you mean your son is with the family?

If you see your grandchild weekly that’s lovely and more than most I’d say. They clearly have a good relationship with you.

son is with the family, i see gc every week as do other grandparents but she will take gc to stay with them often.

OP,

Need more information than the one offered.

Family background is key

Do you mean she’s allowed to stay overnight with her other grandmother, but not you? Surely she should be with her mother!?

@hettygran
I agree with you. In fact my children never really had sleepovers until they were much older and stayed with a friend.

Where is your son?

My advice would be don't make a big deal to DiL don't damage any relationships. Mention you would love at some point to have him overnight and plant the seed.

ninathenana, it was the maternal grandmother that was meant.

I find it quite simple to answer. We know our own mothers very well, their parenting style, responsibility and what they'd be likely to do in any situation. So we know whether to trust them with our babies. We just don't know our in-laws quite so well, do we?

(I knew my mother far too well. She was never allowed to be alone with my kids if I could possibly avoid it.)

Obviously Dil's are more comfortable with their own Mothers so if the child needs to stay overnight with someone, she will choose her own Mother.
I'm afraid this is just how it is and probably how it has always been since time immemorial.

Your grandchild is allowed to stay overnight with her mother.

Isn't that where a child should be, with it's parent.
Why do you have an issue with this ?

Why do you need him to stay overnight?

Truly, I just don’t get it.

Two years old is still very small. My grandson is also two, and he just wouldn’t be comfortable staying with me overnight. I see him every week and have a wonderful relationship with my dil. There’s no ‘reason’, he’s just not ready for that yet.

trip trap yawn

Could you ask your son if he knows the reason? Maybe it is dil just not happy with it but maybe it’s something that can be easily fixed. Think your son holds the key to this?

I think that's about it dragonfly46 different relationship. I would let things lie for a while grannyornot then speak to your daughter in law as rosenoir suggested. There may be something she is not comfortable with,

I left my DC with my mum but would not have trusted my MiL. It is a different relationship.
Now I am the MiL I accept the situation. I just enjoy the GC when I do see them.

Probably he sees more of her mum, so she is more familiar with his routine? And probably she just trusts her own mum more, not that I think you wouldn’t do everything to keep him safe and happy, but you often hear young mums say “I would only leave him /her with my own mum”.
What does your son think or say on the subject?

Any of the above are possible.
Just enjoy the daytime visits, having a two year old for a sleepover can be exhausting!

Do you follow the household rules when you are around your grandchild? Do you question their decisions? Undermine their rules? Is there something about your home that might be perceived as unsafe (smoking, no babyproofing etc?)

I would ask, in a pleasant tone,if there is something your daughter in law is not happy with in your home consider changing it if you want to have your grandson to stay.

Some mums will only allow their own mother to babysit.

Maybe its that?

Do you have a dog or does anyone in your household smoke?
Did you smack your children (not judging, - my mum smacked me occasionally and I occasionally smacked my eldest, which I wouldn’t do now).
We can’t guess why your gc hasn’t stayed with you yet. I’d guess they aren’t confident you’d follow their routine and preferences. Or maybe the grandchild is more comfortable at the moment with her mum. Do they see each other more often?
Why do you think it is?

He is 2 years old. I have offered and asked so many times but she always comes up with a excuse- ie she does not want to disturb his sleep pattern but what about when he stays with her mum.

grannyornot I think the only person who can answer that question is your DIL.