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Siblings sharing a bed

(97 Posts)
Missfoodlove Thu 20-Feb-20 17:59:53

Your views on this please.
Is it right for siblings a boy 7 and a girl 4 to share a bed?
This is not when staying away but the normal home routine.

Baloothefitz Sat 22-Feb-20 01:25:35

According to the Council, siblings of the opposite sex can share a bedroom until they are 20years old now ! Beggars belief.

FlyingSolo Sat 22-Feb-20 01:55:44

Baloothefitz, you're joking surely. Which council? Have you got a link? I'm not accusing you of not telling the truth. It's just that I would like to read it for myself. Can't be wide spread across the country, can it?

Lyndiloo Sat 22-Feb-20 02:08:24

I would feel a little uncomfortable for a boy of 7 and a girl of 4 to be sharing a bed, longterm. Especially if they don't have to.

Greymar Sat 22-Feb-20 08:41:53

OP, what do you mean " not well socialized". I'm presuming they go to school?

Franbern Sat 22-Feb-20 08:49:46

Ifostered children. One little boy was very much a bed wetter - it was absolutely normal for him between the ages of 6 -approx 10 or 11 years old to get into bed with one of my own older daughters if his own bed was damp. They were in their mid to late teens then - nothing wrong with any of it.
Anyone who thinks that there is anything wrong with a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old sharing bed has something quite strange in their own minds

Missfoodlove Sat 22-Feb-20 08:52:49

Greymar, I mean not well socialised. They do not go to school.

Riverwalk Sat 22-Feb-20 08:59:22

According to the Council, siblings of the opposite sex can share a bedroom until they are 20years old now ! Beggars belief.

Which council?

Greymar Sat 22-Feb-20 09:13:02

Missfoodlove, I am not trying to be awkward but I don't know wht you mean. Do they have friends? Are they somewhat cut off from other people?

Greymar Sat 22-Feb-20 09:14:31

Anyone who thinks that there is anything wrong with a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old sharing bed has something quite strange in their own minds

I completely disagree.

Missfoodlove Sat 22-Feb-20 09:19:17

Greymar, no friends, no school, adult company only. ?

Greymar Sat 22-Feb-20 09:21:04

Sorry to hear that, it doesn't sound great.

Seefah Sat 22-Feb-20 09:37:39

Kids sharing a bed might not be a problem if parents remain aware of the unimaginable and know what to look for if anything is untoward. I know so many people who were abused by other children as well as adults and it all went on under parents noses so I would always be vigilant. A few weeks ago a friend let her 7 yr old go on a play date with an 8 yr old who proceeded to try to get the 7 yr olds underwear off to take porn pics !!! It can be a very sad world for some.

V3ra Sat 22-Feb-20 09:47:05

Seefah the question then is, what has that eight year old old seen or experienced that makes them think that's an acceptable thing to do?
They're potentially a victim too.

Starlady Sat 22-Feb-20 15:54:42

I don't see a problem, overall, at these young ages, as long as the parents have a goal of changing the situation, perhaps by a specified age. My heart aches for those here who were molested as children, but as long as the parents have no reason to fear that, then I don't see any harm.

I know these kids aren't related to you Missfoodlove. But even if your own DD were to have this arrangement w/ young children, that would be up to her and the dad's judgment, not yours. You might wish to voice your opinion, but I hope you would do so once and then leave it up to DD.

ananimous Sat 22-Feb-20 16:06:12

@Seefah

I would report the incident of the 7yr old boy being sexual towards the girl to child protection services.

He is mimicking behaviour he has been taught or witnessed.

Missfoodlove Sat 22-Feb-20 16:30:27

Starlady.
I am not approving or disapproving merely asking the opinions of others.
This has nothing to do with my children or grandchild.

icanhandthemback Sat 22-Feb-20 20:10:16

Another person here when inappropriate behaviour took place when I was under 5 sharing a bed with a 6 year old cousin. My sister too with our cousin who was 5 and she was 4. My half sister and half brother experienced too. After recent revelations within the family, they are investigating whether we were actually abused by an adult when we were too young to remember and this coloured our activities.
These things haunted me for years and I was absolutely vigilant when my children when they were younger after especially after my daughter was raped buy her half brother when she was 4 and he was 8. They were playing upstairs with other kids whilst I was downstairs and nobody said a word for months. I don’t use the word lightly either. The language and force he used were socking. Judging by the number of women I have met with similar stories, I think it is more common than you think.

ananimous Sat 22-Feb-20 20:22:19

Icanhandthemback
Dead right.

Children do not "sexually explore" that way unless coached at some point.

Sadly, sexual abuse is experienced by many children from birth onwards.
The brain will retain much sensory memory about the abuse.

It is frighteningly common - people would be shocked if they knew the whole story.

The bigger picture is accepting however vigilant: a paedo only needs a few minutes to damage a whole family. The cycle has many victims.

moggie57 Tue 25-Feb-20 10:58:17

nothing wrong with that .unless they themselves feel uncomfortable.

cas58 Tue 25-Feb-20 18:36:19

Oh David, we're talking about sleeping, not touching for goodness sake. tsk.

endlessstrife Tue 25-Feb-20 18:42:50

I’m not sure they should be in the same bed. Singles would be fine. The parents could be setting themselves up for problems later on.