Siblings sharing a bed

Good idea 3nanny6 and the children will enjoy that.

Yes, why not take a chance - what could possibly go wrong?

Yes Sodapop children enjoy bunk beds although there can be a little squabble as usually both children want the top bunk, my grand-children take it in turns who has the top.

sometimes children really want to share with someone else, chances are that when they get older they will want their own space, as for sexual abuse this can happen when the children do have beds of their own.
The important thing is to listen to your children and keep communication open, and if you sense that one is starting to be not happy with it then you know. Also parent them to sleep and look in on them to make sure all is ok. Obviously if you suspect anything inapproriate then separate them, but if they are trying to ensure that they can tell outsiders that they know what is going on they could put a monitor in the room so they could hear what is going on, obvioiusly hidden [but that is another issue isn't it]
It could be wise to have a bed that the girl could use as her own if she decided she wanted to use it and make it all nice and decorated to her taste whatever that is, and chances are that it will happen naturally

If one of the children still wants to cuddle up when the other one doesn't, then maybe the one who still wants to snuggle could go in with mum

I shared with my cousins on holiday when they were 10 and I was 8. No problems. Mind you we had a lot less knowledge of the world than children that age have today. Even so,I can't imagine my cousins would ever have hut me.

Very sadly, even young children can be exposed to porn these days (on their phones) and are curious, so I wouldn't risk it. And this is NOT my being bad-minded. A lovely friend of mine, who I've known for 30+ years has only just told me that her brother abused her when he was 9 and she was 5 (they used to share a bed). He's just died and it's all come out. Personally, I wouldn't risk it - for the 100 children who will be fine, there may be 1 who isn't.

Don't see it as a problem. At the age they are they probably get comfort from having each other near. Will probably not last much longer.

I guess it depends on the children but if the parents just want them not to use another room (if there is one), could they have separate single beds in the same room. They may each feel its a bit of an invasion of their own personal space, even at that age. Ok occasionally but every night, I’m not sure.

We only had this conversation with our grand son this week as he has been staying with us. The younger one remained at home to give parents less child care arrangements to be made. 12 yr old was moaning about sharing bedroom with younger brother, DH said he had to share with two brothers and i said i had to share a double bed with two sisters lol, his face was a picture he could not believe it. Nothing unusal years ago, nice in the winter but not good if one was sick or wet the bed!!!!

I slept better as a child if I was allowed to share a bed with my little sister. We were two girls so no-one got hot under the collar.

I take it you are worrying about incest. Are there any other indications that this might take place?

Even if there are I don't see how you can do anything here, it is surely the parents concern whether their children share a bed or not.

What is the problem? It only becomes a problem when there are different rules for Housing Association property than for privately-owned homes.

I had to share with my brother’s until my older sister left home. She was seventeen years older than me. The box room that she had was only big enough for a single bed. So there was no other option. It wasn’t an issue at all and I loved that we were all so close. Eventually when I moved into my own room I remember being a little lost for a while but of course as I got older It was my little haven.
Times change and I do think children are far more advanced than when I was a child. Perhaps single beds or bunk beds if space is an issue.

When I was a child my friend shared a bed with her adult brother. She was eleven when he got married and moved away. I remember my mum disapproving but I didn't understand why!

I've never been burgled, despite leaving windows and doors unlocked over the years...

I'll just let that sink in.

I shared a bed with my little brother until I was about 10. There was no harm in it.
The children are still very young. Is there somthing about it that worries you?

As a young girl I had to share until I was 11 and loved every minute of it, first with my sister which I don't remember and then with my brother until I was 11. We loved it and its not weird in any way shape or form. Please don't say things have changed today We are talking about young children after all.

Some nasty dirty minds on here - me and my sister slept in the same bed (by choice) until I was in my teens, even when we had a bigger house with our own rooms one of us would get up and get in bed with the other. Its comforting, not to mention warm when the heating is off at night. These children are very young - I really do not see the problem here.

Name-calling - what a mind.

I don't agree that it makes a difference whether the older child is a boy or a girl. My big sister molested me when I was five and it went on for five years. We had twin beds in the same room, so I don't think that sharing a bed is necessarily a crucial factor either.

@Bluecat

I'm sorry you were subjected to that.
The blurred boundary of bed-sharing is a red flag.

I wouldn’t have been happy to share a bed as a child. It was difficult enough to find personal space in a large family. My own bed was my own space, much needed and appreciated.

Throw into the mix children who are not given much affection and/or attention, and an already abused child will "act out".
The abuse is passed on. Sadly.

The internet porn is yet another layer.

Usually victims will not divulge until they hit their 30's, and life is a very real struggle (for some *unknown reason).
*Dysfunction
We need to wake up.

Thank you all for contributing to this thread, lots of food for thought.

Some sad posts which have really moved me.
Thank you for sharing such intimate and painful experiences.

I don’t still don’t know how I feel.
The children in question are both delightful, well loved and cared for however not well socialised so one of my concerns is their reliance on each other.

I am not being critical of the parenting, I genuinely am not sure if it’s a good or a bad arrangement.

Sadly, working with survivors of incest and sexual abuse, so many clients tell similar stories of being put into bed around the age of three with siblings seven years or more older than them and sworn to secrecy for years about the special bond and threats of what would happen to them if they told anyone. these children were abused for many years and it often started through opportunity, curiosity and the innocence of the victim. Opportunity is the main thing that parents can guard against.

@Saetana - Some nasty dirty minds on here

Some people are naive to the extent of the amount of childhood sexual abuse cases - the system is overloaded with them.
That does not include the ones who remain silent.
Don't despise the people fighting for childrens innocence to remain intact...save your comments for the perpertrators of sexual abuse.

Those of us who try to help repair these lives, and prevent the cycle of abuse are not the problem, I assure you.