Mothers Day

I fear Ceitdh is hiding under the bed.

Nannan2 is projecting here. No one in their right mind would begrudge a new dad treating his partner on her very first Mother’s Day.
Only someone with no boundaries would suggest he should also cater to his mother in law who heaven forbid allow them a special day as a new little family and demand to be involved.

Nana2 you ve now made 15 posts to say the daughter should make some time for her mother on Mothering Sunday just let it go The daughter has already said she will be with the mum the day before what the heck is wrong with that Give it a break the daughter has just had a new baby after IVF which can be awful and she wants to spend the a Sunday with her husband and new baby but has offered the day before and the original poster will have her other daughter on Sunday
For goodness sake she has SO much

I think...you’ve lucky to have such a close and loving relationship but that of course they will want to do this alone now. Ne family unit, new mother, new traditions. There comes a time when that must happen. You and she can meet another time to celebrate, surely?

Hard one, she is still spending time with you on Saturday hopefully, and maybe husband doesn't have a mother to celebrate with?
My dilemma is my ex partner wants to take our 2 girls to see his mother but she's nanny and NOT the mother whereas I am so only fair I get to spend the day with them, (except they are with me nearly 24/7 anyway, I wouldn't want it any other way)

Since my daughters became Mothers themselves. It's all about sharing , I will be going out on the Saturday before with them and my Son , and DH. And then my daughters can have Mothers Day at home being spoilt by their little daughters and be taken out for lunch with their husbands. That's a fair way of doing things surely Ceilidt, don't make a thing of it or you might be sorry , Be gracious and enjoy the Saturday with them , they will love you all the more for it ,

Mother’s Day is overrated. I certainly don’t expect anything much from my children, certainly not over priced cards and flowers. When it was Mothering Sunday years ago I used to pick wild flowers for my mother (when I was a child). Now she never wants anything, she knows I love her and I know my children love me. My GC make cards for their mothers which is fine.

Wow! Such a lot of angst. Let’s hope the OP’s daughter enjoys her first Mothering Sunday with her husband and baby. An early post -I think MamaCaz, suggested that the daughter might be afraid to say anything, for fear of how the OP would react-with some justification if this isn’t a spoof.
Her idea that the OP might suggest a celebration perhaps the day before would take any pressure off.
My daughters spent Mother’s Day at home-where they were the ‘Mothers’ when their children were little and celebrated with us on another day, but as they got older, they’d call in or take me out. I like to get a card, a phone call, Skype or FaceTime, but it’s not the end of the world if that doesn’t happen. It happens enough on 364 other days.

I've always felt it unfair to get cards and presents for mother's day, once I was a grandmother. Such a joy to see the grandchildren treating their mothers, and to hear about it afterwards.

Just be thankful that your daughters' are alive and well. This Mothering Sunday will be my second since my son's untimely death. All I wish is that he could be somewhere in the world, alive, well and happy. Enjoy your family, fortunate lady.

Nanaan2
Why are you determined to 'blame' the son-in-law? You do seem to be making unpleasant assumptions about him.

When my adult daughter was a baby my husband took us for a lovely lunch as I was a new mum on Mothering Sunday. We were away on a trip and I telephoned my own mother from a call box on the Sunday -who refused to come to the phone ( after I had waited about fifteen mins in a queue to call her) she threw a hissy fit and behaved like such a brat because I was away with my own family celebrating a Mothering Sunday of my very own. My sister told her to grow up and face the fact that I was a mother myself now and would want to have the opportunity to make the day about me. I had left a card and gift for her before we set off on our trip. She caused such a fuss and showed herself up good and proper. I think once you become a mother yourself with a new little child in the family your priorities change. Allow your daughter to enjoy her own Mothering Sunday please- I shall never forgive my own mother for being so childish 30 years ago& trying to guilt trip me for having my own special day.

I never spent Mothering Sunday with my mother after I left home as she lived too far away to visit for the day and my ex's mother always expected to see us as she was only about an hour's drive away. I don't think I ever had the day just with H and children as a result, but I accepted going out with my in-laws. I rarely see my own children on the day now as both live a long way away but I'm happy to receive a card and a phone call which they usually remember. I always made sure I sent my mum a card and flowers so she knew I cared. You should be grateful to have two daughters living near enough to visit at all and if one comes on the Saturday 'so what!' Like many other posters on here I think you need to adjust your priorities and accept the changes for what they are - a new family unit celebrating a special time together, yet still thinking of you and wanting to see you the day before. I always appreciate the time I spend with my children as any get together is a rare treat with the distances involved so I think you should be grateful for what you have enjoyed for so long and stop putting your own needs before theirs.

Why are you blaming the son in law Nannan2? Why should he consider his mother in law and sister in law above his wife?

Perhaps the daughter is just using him as an excuse because she knows how her mother would react and, given the OP’s post, I can understand why.

As she said it’s her first Mother’s Day, of course she is entitled to spend it with her own little family. I think you are being very selfish what difference does it make if it’s Saturday or Sunday that you see him?

What a selfish woman

Very selfish attitude imo. Did you pay for IVF with conditions attached as that is how this sounds. Be pleased your daughter is with a kind and caring husband of course they want to be their own little family on Mothers Day. Get a grip and stop being so self centred and selfish.

I have 2 sons and they invariably forget mother's Day. I may get a call on the day or a late card. I used to be hurt over their forgetfulness but not so much now. Anyway, you haven't been forgotten! What counts is how you are regarded all year round that matters most.

Only someone with no boundaries would suggest he should also cater to his mother in law who heaven forbid allow them a special day as a new little family and demand to be involved.

Apparently only “those types of people” are allowed to have time to themselves. Everybody else must cater to the rest of the world and their extended family at all times.

Oh dear, how sad that a day that should be about showing love and appreciation has been turned into a squabble over who has priority for attention. I have 3 sons and they all have 1 or 2 children, I would be very upset if they put me before their wives. In my mind my best and proudest title is grandma, I’ve moved on from being a mum if you understand what I mean. These days most mums are working and full time at that, so time with their child is precious, surely a day when mum is the star is much deserved. This is my second Mother’s Day on my own but I will not be requesting visits or presents etc. It’s not that I’m an angel but the thought of 76pence postage alone makes me cross. I hope the OP can relinquish the control she feels she has the right to wield, otherwise she will alienate her family and runs the risk of having no relationship at all with her grandchild.

I think you’re completely wrong and unkind. Your daughter is a mother now, it’s HER turn to have a fuss made of her. Just let go and be pleased for her. When I had my children my husband used to drive round to his mother and then to mine on the Sunday morning with bouquets and cards for each of them from us both. Then he used to come back for Sunday lunch and spend the rest of Mothers Day with us. What’s the point of insisting you must all go out for lunch when she clearly doesn’t want to and create an “atmosphere”? And what happens to HIS mother on Mother’s Day?

I don't think you should be upset, it's just one day. I often don't see my children on mothers day and it's fine. Just try and be happy for her. It's understandable she might what to spend her first mothers day as a mother with her husband and baby. I'm sure it doesn't say anything about what she feels for you.

I agree with Rosenoir. Paying for IVF was a generous, loving gift...not a permanent invitation into the days of their lives. Her first Mothers Day is a special day for her, her husband and that precious baby. Maybe you can give yourself the gift of memories dear.

Of course her first Mother’s Day is special...but you are still her mother so why can’t she have her special lunch and see you in the afternoon.....or maybe all go out together.....I did this for years with my mother....I had a special morning with my children then joined my mother and unmarried sister for lunch....

Good gravy nannan2 is it really that difficult for you to contemplate that this grandma doesn’t need to be the center of attention and catered to on her daughters FIRST Mother’s Day? Her SIL is doing as he ought, prioritizing his wife and the brand new mother. The idea of insisting that they still stop and pay homage before they can enjoy their lunch is the height of narcissism.