Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

My Daughter's Fiance

(39 Posts)
MarthaB Sat 07-Mar-20 20:26:43

My daughter, Fiona has recently become engaged to a man whom I just cannot stand! He often looks dishevelled and in general a smug b-----d! Any advice on how to talk some sense into her?

~ Yours, MarthaB x

Barmeyoldbat Sat 07-Mar-20 20:33:23

I wouldn't bother as it will probably fall on deaf ears. I am afraid its her choice, maybe she likes the look.

paddyanne Sat 07-Mar-20 20:40:02

none of your business ,leave them be .If it works and they marry the only person who will suffer will be you if you interfere.If it doesn't work out please dont say I told you so .

For what its worth my SIL is an arrogant wee sod....and he freely admits to being one .He has improved a bit with the years ,we muddle along but I would never say anything bad about him,he loves his wife and daughter and is a great stepdad to her older two ,thats all that counts

BlueBelle Sat 07-Mar-20 20:41:03

Are you a new poster MartherB ?
I think you re the one in need of the talk
Best of luck

mumofmadboys Sat 07-Mar-20 20:42:51

Martha I am worried you are giving too much info unless you are using false names? You can ask GN to delete if nec.

tanith Sat 07-Mar-20 20:43:12

You interfere at your peril I’m afraid you have to stand back and see how things pan out.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 07-Mar-20 20:46:24

Her fiancé, her choice, not yours! Whom she chooses is nothing to do with you,

phoenix Sat 07-Mar-20 20:51:32

Any advice on to how to talk some sense into her?

Are you serious??? Do you really think she will listen to you? Would you have listened to your mother in the same situation?

For heavens sake!

GagaJo Sat 07-Mar-20 20:52:25

Is he a bit of a Shrek?

Greymar Sat 07-Mar-20 20:54:55

Tell us more, is he rich but dishevelled?

MissAdventure Sat 07-Mar-20 20:57:41

I sympathise.
It's horrible watching your child with someone you can't stand, but there really isn't anything you can do.

GagaJo Sat 07-Mar-20 20:58:03

Does he live in a swamp?

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 07-Mar-20 21:01:03

Have the names been changed to protect our famous PM?

The description fits.......

BradfordLass73 Sat 07-Mar-20 21:05:10

Offer to buy him a few new tailored suits, shirts etc., send him off to the beauty parlour to get tidied up, all expenses paid by you of course as you're obviously so worried about his appearance. Make sure you tell them how you want him to look by the end.

Perhaps elocution lessons, deportment and a good course on personal grooming? Hand-made shoes always make a difference my Dad used to say.

That'll stop him being smug but sadly, his illegitimacy cannot be corrected.

sodapop Sat 07-Mar-20 21:37:47

No sadly we bastards will be uncorrected for life.

Loulelady Sat 07-Mar-20 21:42:06

She loves him. Why do you think?
Looks really aren’t the most important thing. Smugness is very unattractive, I agree, but what does he do that you judge to be smug? Is it just that he had different political or environmental views and doesn’t simply say “Yes Mrs B. No Mrs B. Never a truer word was said Mrs B”.
It really is in your interests to get on with him and build some sort of relationship. Don’t risk giving your daughter a piece of your mind. You haven’t mentioned financial or physical abuse, him not being your cup of tea is not worth the risk of your daughter and her future husband distancing themselves in the future leaving you out in the cold.
You have a lot to lose here.

M0nica Sat 07-Mar-20 21:47:40

I am not sure I believe this thread. I think it might be a have-on.

GagaJo Sat 07-Mar-20 22:59:26

Princess Fiona meets a scruffy monster. Her parents don't like him, but he drags her down to his level and they live in the swamp.

Callistemon Sat 07-Mar-20 23:02:57

Is she pregnant?

Sorry to ask but it is important.

BlueBelle Sun 08-Mar-20 06:57:37

Exactly monica the reason for my first post I apologise if Im wrong but I think the original poster is having a laugh

Missfoodlove Sun 08-Mar-20 09:45:15

Perhaps the disheveled look is all an act, some men deliberately look scruffy to conceal personality flaws.
Does he have a huge sense of grandiose?
Is he arrogant?
Perhaps he thinks he’s a strong leader and likens himself to an historic leader like Churchill.

Don’t worry too much it could be worse, thank the Lord she didn’t fall for a bearded vegan with a dodgy past and a huge chip on his shoulder.

Bathsheba Sun 08-Mar-20 09:51:12

I thought half term was a couple of week ago? hmm

Witzend Sun 08-Mar-20 09:59:38

Hmmm, I well remember my folks disapproving very much of my dh (then an on/off boyfriend) and my mother telling me I’d never find anyone nearly as nice as a former BF to whom I’d given the old heave-ho.

Roll on a few years and dh was golden boy, and remained so ever after.

Callistemon Sun 08-Mar-20 10:13:51

Bathsheba self-isolation?

M0nica Sun 08-Mar-20 14:45:30

If this OP really exists, she sounds like the original MiL from Hell.