Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

My Daughter's Fiance

(40 Posts)
MarthaB Sat 07-Mar-20 20:26:43

My daughter, Fiona has recently become engaged to a man whom I just cannot stand! He often looks dishevelled and in general a smug b-----d! Any advice on how to talk some sense into her?

~ Yours, MarthaB x

Tweedle24 Sun 08-Mar-20 16:37:46

If this is a genuine scenario, my advice would be to leave well alone. If you say anything against the new fiancé you will only drive them closer together and risk losing your daughter.

Keep out of it.

Baggs Sun 08-Mar-20 16:41:21

I would never say anything bad about him

paddyanne, doesn't "arrogant wee sod" count as something bad? ?

GagaJo Sun 08-Mar-20 16:53:14

The OP has posted and run anyway so...

Busbybag1 Sun 08-Mar-20 17:04:29

Why do users find certain posts to be made up. If this post is genuine and poor person is worried bout her intended SIL, why are you being mean?

Hithere Sun 08-Mar-20 17:10:08

Tell her congratulations!

May7 Sun 08-Mar-20 18:10:22

I agree its difficult to watch your children fall in love with someone you dont consider suitable but love is blind so they say. As a mother you just have to hope that you are wrong or be there to catch them when they fall. Hope this advice helps.
PS If you are not a genuine poster MarthaB then just ignore

Callistemon Sun 08-Mar-20 22:46:07

She will have to find out for herself.

Invite him round for meals as often as you can, she may see him differently in your home setting.
Never criticise him and be kind and nice to him.

maddyone Sun 08-Mar-20 22:55:52

Martha, very sound advice from paddyanne.

maddyone Sun 08-Mar-20 22:58:50

Bags, I don’t think paddyanne would say that to her SiL, and she has found good points in him.

paddyanne Sun 08-Mar-20 23:15:46

He knows hes arrogant thats his saving grace...lol.In all honesty he does a very unique job and was the youngest person ever to do it so we let him off for his arrogance,he is a great dad too

paddyanne Sun 08-Mar-20 23:17:42

posted too soon,I wouldn't say anything to my daughter ,she however tells me he;s an arrogant wee sod

maddyone Sun 08-Mar-20 23:46:08

grin well I guess she knows paddyanne.

Tangerine Sun 08-Mar-20 23:53:00

I'd say nothing unless you know he is abusive one way or another.

Sussexborn Mon 09-Mar-20 00:17:54

If you make your objections known you’ll most likely fuel her protective instincts and make him seem more romantic. It would be sensible to invite him to your home. You might see a different side to him and find his “smugness” is an act because he realises you dislike him.

Eventually we have to trust our children to make their own decisions and accept they might make choices that we are not 100% sure of.