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Losing your looks

(58 Posts)
Lookernomore Fri 08-May-20 04:25:47

I’m 59 years old and I’m horrified when I look in the mirror! I have deep circles and bags under my eyes and my eyelids are sitting on top of my lashes. The sides of my face are sliding down. I can’t find a haircut that I can style. I look best in a shoulder length bob but my hair is bushy and it makes makes my face look fatter if I use a flat iron. Then there is the male pattern hair growth on my face - I’m actually shaving!! I was so pretty in my younger days and that makes it all the harder.

CorneliaStreet Fri 08-May-20 06:00:46

Oh, dear Lookernomore, don't give it too much of your precious time and attention! Aging is difficult but we need to learn how to accept the new versions of ourselves. You say you were pretty when younger but I bet you still are! You just concentrate on the changes that aging brings and forget about all the good things.
The haircut is a difficult thing to find, I agree. Try different online resources to see if some particular haircut will suit you and contact the hairdresser when possible. The same things goes for the makeup, if you think it will help you to be more confident. There are online programs that add makeu for your pics for you to see whether it will suit you, like Photodiva does.
Or do none of this things! Try to get more sleep, drink more fresh water, take walks and keep fit, if possible. If you take care of yourself, you will feel better, I promise!

Furret Fri 08-May-20 06:04:27

Not a lot we can do about ageing. Instead why not concentrate on your personality? That you can control.

Given the choice I’d rather spend time with an interesting person than a pretty one.

Esspee Fri 08-May-20 06:07:23

Strangely enough the changes in my appearance don’t bother me.
I don’t wear make up either.
Perhaps I am strange?
What bothers me are the other signs of ageing. The aches, the forgetfulness, the knowledge that I am heading towards the end of my life, but hey ho, the alternative to being old is to die and with that stark choice I really have nothing to complain about.

mumofmadboys Fri 08-May-20 06:08:34

Beauty is mainly non the inside. That's what counts.

Bellasnana Fri 08-May-20 06:16:45

I’ve never considered myself pretty but I do understand how you feel Lookernomore. However, I think what I dislike the most is that I still feel young inside, but have to accept that others look at me and see an old person.

Still, I don’t get too upset about it. So many of my friends and family have not made it to old age, so I’m thankful I’m still here!

BlueBelle Fri 08-May-20 06:24:07

I think I look different but the same in each stage of my life I just do my best to keep my appearance up to my standards
You can’t compare a 70 year old face to a 20 year old face so why try If your wanting to look 20 you’re going to be very disappointed
I m perfectly happy with my appearance except when I see it looking back at me in a face time call 😂😂😂

Riverwalk Fri 08-May-20 06:34:49

what I dislike the most is that I still feel young inside, but have to accept that others look at me and see an old person.

Yes, that's the hard bit! grin

CathTheWise Fri 08-May-20 06:41:04

I felt like this in my 40s but after that I somehow forgot about it, now I just try to be happy with the way I look right now.

Hetty58 Fri 08-May-20 06:44:32

Lookernomore, I was beautiful too but we can't fight the inevitable. Accept it. That was then and this is now.

Let's face it, looks shouldn't be that important to us. They're not worth fretting about. Clean and neat - with a smile - is quite good enough and nobody else really cares!

The smile is all important. I've seen too many nicely turned out old ladies, looking thoroughly miserable!

Lucca Fri 08-May-20 06:48:45

I agree with you! I think my hair is nice as it happens but my face is not so much wrinkled as lined ! Can’t bear seeing myself in the mirror to be honest but I do make an effort with clothes and a bit of make up. Having said that simce Covid I have not really thought about looking old, there are far more important things to worry about.

Calendargirl Fri 08-May-20 06:53:27

Well, I was never beautiful. I looked reasonably pretty when I was young, in certain photos, with the light in the right place, and preferably in a group of plainer friends....

Riverwalk Fri 08-May-20 06:53:53

It's all this flippin' Facetime business when you see your old gob in the corner of the screen - the other day my son said, mother will you put your glasses on so you're not squinting and peering! grin

NanKate Fri 08-May-20 07:18:09

I can commiserate Looker my dark circles and bags have suddenly got worse. I look dreadful without makeup.

I have signed up for the daily blogs from Look fabulous Forever which is make up for older women. Tricia the MD looks great and on one of her videos she is without makeup and she then transforms her face and demonstrates tips on how to do so at home. She wears bright colours and statement jewellery.

I have ordered some of the makeup which is rather expensive but worth it.

Finally I buy Maybelline Eraser Concealer in Fair colour and it blocks out my dark baggy eyes. It is about £8.00 and is excellent.

Best of luck.

BradfordLass73 Fri 08-May-20 07:46:33

You've heard that expression, 'fat and ugly'?

It's always applied to me but I never thought it would be useful.

Now, with no looks to lose, I'm not mourning anything grin

kittylester Fri 08-May-20 07:49:29

I wish I had known when I was young that I was attractive. I had no confidence at all despite being fairly attractive.

Now, I look just like my mother when she was very old! But, I have much more confidence now!

I agree about people only seeing an old woman - that is not me!!

NfkDumpling Fri 08-May-20 08:03:50

Like you, Kitty I never thought myself attractive when I was young, no confidence whatsoever.

I’ve always thought I went from spots to wrinkles and then to fat. Now I just wish my skin would fit. I have far too much of it. Wrinkles, cellulite and saggy bits. But I really don’t care too much. I’m me. (I’m the woman who went out to stand at the gate last evening with wild unkempt hair, stripy tee shirt, spotty trousers, baggy cardi and slippers - oh, and no bra!)

Oopsminty Fri 08-May-20 08:09:25

Reminds me of the Joan Collins quote

The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer."

PamelaJ1 Fri 08-May-20 08:16:51

Well this is probably as good as it’s going to get, so start liking it😂

I’m sorry but you have to be happy with what you have and make the most of it. An alternative is to spend a fortune and even then you may not like what you see.

When I look back at photos I often wonder why I didn’t think I was gorgeous then?

Do you hair as best as you can put on a bit (only a bit) of make up, wear a smile and a nice outfit. Then be happy because people will be happy to see you.

Grandma70s Fri 08-May-20 08:17:13

I don’t worry about my face much. My skin is quite good still, though the sag has set in. What I mind is the loss of graceful movement. I did a lot of ballet, was tall and slim. I’m still tall and still quite slim, but I have mobility problems and am no longer remotely graceful. That depresses me. I feel it’s not the real me.

kittylester Fri 08-May-20 08:18:33

Nfk, yesterday morning I was putting the bin out, dressed to spend the morning in the garden.

Up next door's drive swept a 4 x 4 and out got a tiny, blonde about my age wearing a tight leopard skin dress, leather biker jacket and red stiletto boots. She asked if I'd mind putting their bin out after she had gone. gringrin

Puzzler61 Fri 08-May-20 08:29:11

Aww don’t be so hard on yourself Looker . We can’t stay young forever.
I keep my skin moisturised but don’t use makeup.
A friendly smile is the most attractive thing about a person’s face I think. 😊

Gummie Fri 08-May-20 08:33:39

What shocked me the most in all these video calls was how crepey my neck is now. A scarf now has a dual use. Face mask and neck concealer 😯

Marydoll Fri 08-May-20 08:34:40

I never considered myself pretty or attractive when I was younger.
My best friend/ colleague who was was tall, slim, tanned and attractive made me look even smaller and dowdier when I stood next to her.

The one thing in my favour is I have always looked younger than my actual age . Today, I have few wrinkles, my hair is still its original red, my glasses hide any bags and I have grown into myself! 😉
I'm not in the least bothered about losing my looks, I never had any in the first place.😂

Maggiemaybe Fri 08-May-20 08:36:07

Well, I’ve learnt to make a bit of an effort for any Zooms and FaceTimes - a bit of slap works wonders, and a constant gentle smile pulls the jowls up a bit, even if it does make me look a bit simple at the same time.