Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

I do feel for you my baby granddaughter lives in Dubai and I was due to visit for her birthday, feel even worse for her other grandmother who is recently widowed and can’t see any of her kids or grandchildren due to distance, sure it will be a distant bad memory soon, stay strong x

I haven’t seen my girls for months either and I long to hug them and hold them close. This is going to finish and you will see them. Think of them waiting for you there like a present.

we have 6 grand children ,they youngest is nearly 5 months her brother is 2 , my son has twins age now 20 months ,and 2 girls or 6-7 ,I have not seen the twins or older girlsfor 13 weeks ,the baby and bro for 12 ,its breaks my heart ,yes we have portal,but not the same as a hug and seeing them , the baby won't know us .but ,they are safe , not gonna lie ,its really hard as we usually see them every week ,and the my grandson 2-3 days a week,

Oh Maw. You and I could well be identical twins as our thought processes are so similar. I heartily agree with you. Our family live in sydney so we do not see our grandchildren very often and goodness knows when we will be able to visit again with the virus about. Nevertheless one must look on it as a temporary situation so as you say"Gran Up"everyone and realise that it is not forever. Hopefully anyway!!

We are all ‘suffering’ like this. However, surely the health of our loved ones is far more important than us feeling isolated from them. Much as I hate not having physical contact with my family I know that sometime in the future we will have a wonderful get-together.

It is heart wrenching to be unable to cuddle our loved ones right now. Two weeks before lockdown we relocated to be in the next village from my Son and his family!! My gorgeous VS is nearly 2 and FaceTime is agony he ends up frustrated and upset running to the front door. SO I have been spending all my spare time preparing for when we can see each other. I bought a keyboard and have been learning all his favourite songs, I've been getting the garden sorted so he will have his own patch as well as an area to play his beloved football. I am really lucky to have a hobby doo (model railway!!) and I spend a lot more time than usual getting projects done on it that I know he will love. Every know and then he makes me a picture and my so drops it off with my meds and I send one back. But basically I try to spend time doing\making things for him for when we can see each other. Hope that helps

We have the same thing. Our baby granddaughter is just 7 months old. We live in Scotland and they live in the south of England. I count myself very lucky to have seen her twice since she was born. My friend hasn't seen her baby granddaughter as she was born just before lockdown and they were not allowed visitors. They don't live far from her in Scotland. Because of restrictions I don't know when she will get her first cuddle.

I feel for you OP. I think Maw missed the point completely! Just think of the reunion; how wonderful it will be

I'm so lucky to have my DD and her now 10 month old living with us. But it is at huge cost to her, her DH and my GC. SIL is a doctor so he won't risk their health. They haven't been together for 8 weeks now. In that time the baby has gone from crawling to standing and his daddy missed it all.
(I do realise that service personnel have this problem all the time too.)
But it is still so difficult to deal with.

Good morning grann Annie, your story pulled at my heartstrings ❤️, I too am a first time grandma??????? so I can imagine how you must feel .. if you have face time I suggest that you and your daughter arrange a special time for you once a week to see your granddaughter .. I’m sure it would make the world of difference in these times??? when you think ? of and feel her keep it in the present moment and speak to her daily in your mind as if she is with you .. imagination is soooo powerful and she will feel your presence for sure. Also writing ✍️ a little daily journal of your feelings and thoughts would be a brilliant way to vent any frustration at not seeing her in person. Stay hopeful that this is just a phase that will pass and think of the joy at seeing her again and having the tightest is cuddles ?. Love carol London?.

It's so very hard, but we are getting through the worst now. I've 6 grandchildren, 3 in England, three in Canada 1 of mine is a baby and I'm missing out on her milestones too so I know exactly how you are feeling. How I'm coping is to imagine that the children in England are abroad for a year with their parents and it helps me cope. When my eldest son moved to Canada I thought I would never get over the grief but 5 years on I'm fine. I see them every summer, I fly out there on my own. and treat it as an adventure. I won't be able to go this summer though, but there's always next year. You do heal, your heart heals. I know that not seeing my youngest sons family in England is only temporary. I'm in the high risk group so will have to wait for the vaccine or medicines that can help before I can see them again. I'm so grateful for Skype, What's App, Zoom etc. This pandemic will pass. I remember the Hong Kong flu pandemic in the late 60s 80,000 people died in the UK , I had it. The next year we were all out going to festivals and everything back to normal. Don't despair, we are all feeling the same. When you feel really bad, focus on doing something nice, watch a nice film. Go for a walk, ring someone and have a chat. The weather's better now. We'll all have a limited summer, but things will get better. Look at the positives and the brighter future.

As you are working from home now and not having much social contact is probably making you feel worse. Are you having to isolate more because of ill health and being vulnerable to corona virus? Try and get out more...you are allowed as much exercise as you want and certain out door activities i.e tennis etc. Try and stay in contact with your daughter and granddaughter by zoom or video calls. It is a difficult time for everyone. I have three grandsons and one is 9 months old so I've missed a good part of his milestones as I last saw them all in February and I lost my job through lock down. It's best to try and do activities that take your mind of you missing your daughter and grand daughter .

so hard on all of us, such different stories,, my gks are mostly grown, youngest gd,(only gd) is nearly 11 not a hugging family, but that doesn`t lessen the love and need to see and be near them etc.

everyone is just bleeding internally with this locked up love.
we must find a way... praying

I really feel everyone’s sadness and share the same frustration I have made another email account for my grandchildren and have been emailing their ‘older selves with thoughts and pictures and things from the days news or social media snippets.
I enjoy the time dedicated to each of them each day and they will know how much I thought about them and hopefully soon we will have great fun going through the emails and pictures. I will keep doing this I think like an online scrapbook. Sacrifice is also a good lesson to teach I keep telling myself

I agree with @MawB, who incidentally didn’t comment on your feelings either away OP, and playing the martyr isn’t a nice trait.

I can’t believe the whining and rule breaking I see on social media when you think about what our parents generation went through during WW2.

You’ve got all the benefits of modern technology so you can speak to people when you want to. You’re not waiting weeks for news.

It’s just a few months, hardly very long in the grand scheme. Are people really so much less resilient these days?

I think you are being a little too tough on GranAnnie, MawB. I’m sure she is being strong most of the time, especially being a health care professional. But, she bravely used this site (which I thought it was meant for) to share her feelings. I too, felt the same one day this week so empathise totally. I am retired, live alone, and my family are in France.
Also, in “normal” times there is the chance to get on a plane and visit family. Now there is no choice.
I hope you didn’t make GranAnnie feel even worse after getting so much comfort from everyone else.
Hang on in there GranAnnie. The only suggestion I have is to try just to look towards the end of the day and not look beyond into the future. That really is scarey and personally is what kicked off my sadness in the week.
Xx

We must all remember they are safe and you are safe let's keep it that way. Like so many others I miss my 5 year old GD who l looked after for 3 days a week until she started school last September. I am worried that she will be sent back to school soon but that is another matter. I should have been looking after her 8 month old brother now. He hardly knows me is now crawling and even has some teeth. I have such a great bond with my GD and I worry I won't have the same one with him. That said we have to be strong for them. Us granny's are all feeling the strain. Let's have a GREAT BIG GROUP HUG and try to keep smiling.

granAnnie my heart goes out to you. I too miss my Granddaughters so much but I'm lucky they're not far away. I am also on my own & missing my wonderful Sister like you wouldn't believe. Thank goodness for Facetime!! It won't be forever, hopefully we've done the worst bit now. Sending big hugs. xxx?

My granddaughters are all teenagers now, or at least will be when the youngest turns 13 next month. My eldest was 17 last month and it's the first time since she was born that I haven't seen her on her birthday. I couldn't get out to buy a card so made one from what was left over from my card making days.

Myself and the girls should all be going to Wales today for a week, which I was assuming would be the eldest granddaughters last time after 11 yrs, and we had all sorts of things lined up to make it the most memorable. We can't make up for it next year as both the eldest and middle one will be doing exams so wouldn't be allowed. For me this is the only thing I am gutted about with this d**n virus.

Hopefully they will still come once a week for their tea when this is all over, we always have a good catch-up which is lovely.

Meanwhile I will have to make do with texts and what's app

Each and every one of us is in the same position unless you are breaking the rules of lockdown.
If you are working in the NHS you are well aware of the implications of infecting others and the stress of the job will be getting to you but be assured that you are not the only one with uncuddled GC.

I haven’t voiced my feelings anywhere before about feeling the heartache. This thread has allowed me to do that so thank you to the original poster. I don’t need to be told to “gran up”. I am strong and know others have it worse. But it IS relative and one person’s opinion is not the same as another or their experience the same. In this Mental Health week I think this was a very relevant thread. I wouldn’t dream of breaking lockdown to even try and see the children or grandchildren and perhaps that’s an indication that most people who are feeling it the most are those who ARE looking after the interests of their families and staying away. I don’t want to feel we can’t voice our feelings on here and I did think twice about commenting originally but I think it helps others to know we are all in this together. Please don’t tell me to “gran up”, it’s not nice and in this world especially at the moment, that’s important.

I think that many of us are managing through this lockdown but have days when it just seems endless and hard. Everyone reacts differently and it does not always help to compare your situation to everyone else’s. I have grandchildren in Australia and near Manchester so I’m used to not seeing them every week and I definitely don’t like not knowing when I will see them again. However, many of us are missing family whether they live 2 roads away or on a different continent and it doesn’t make any difference - we are just missing them and that is allowed. It’s hard to feel sad but it’s better just to try to accept that you are feeling wobbly at the moment and give yourself a hug. The uncertainty of everything makes it even harder but things will get better one day.

Annie

Firstly thank you for being part of our NHS support both at this time and during the last 40 years.
I feel for you . And it is ok to feel upset I think.
My daughter has a 2 half year old boy who I and his other granny have looked after since he was 3 months old and we miss him desperately - I miss the hugs the fun and laughing with him but we make cakes on FaceTime !
She also has a 6 month old girl who arrived spectacularly quickly at home and I was first on the scene so that bond is so strong . My daughter struggles at times about us missing the milestones and the baby not knowing us.
I have cried at times and been angry at the situation but mostly I just try to keep it together. My worst times are when my daughter has rang upset and struggling as although I say the right things or try to I hate not being there to help.
I do think it won’t be long now as when nanny’s and cleaners can work and people are returning to work it doesn’t male a lot of sense not to let small bubbles of people ie family to meet.
Let’s try to be thankful we have this love in our lives as so many really are alone with no hugs to look forward to .
Take care

Hi GranAnn,
I so relate to how you are feeling. Firstly its 100% fine to admit how all of this is affecting you,I'm considered a strong person and I like many others have had some unexpected wobbles recently.
I have two grandsons,one 4 and one 18 months. They live a couple of hours drive away so I'm used to only seeing them every few months which probably makes it a little easier. It's easier with an older child as they have memories and experiences to fall back on. Babies are so much harder as not really aware of video links! I had an instant strong bond with youngest and do worry he will forget me although I know my daughter has lots of photos around and points out who I am. No one knows when things will change but there are things you can do.
Use video apps to sing lullaby,chat,do nursery rhymes etc,I saw one Nan who every night says goodnight.
Look to the future and maybe start an all about you book,what you were like as a girl etc. You can buy one or make own up.
Send colourful cards/postcards/ books.
You could send voice recordings of stories.
With my older grandson I have done story time and a virtual biscuit making session,with mum in background of course! In the future we are going to have a teddy bears picnic,I still have mine!
No video can make up for the lack of physical contact but we can still be a presence in their lives. Have a peaceful day. Big hugs?xxx

I thought GN was so that people could voice opinions.
It is very hard to go from one day with stacks of access to waking up and having none. It is a form of grief.
Our parents and grandparents were in a different era....with different expectations.
I feel for you OP and hope you continue to to vent and not let it fester inside . I believe it is much better to whinge and moan on a forum then stew all the time over it.
Sometimes it is just nice to know that your feelings ....and your reasons ....you are alone.
Doesn't mean you are right or good or bad....but nowadays it is nice to have company even virtually