Missing my baby granddaughter feeling hopeless

granAnnie of course you are thinking of all the time you are missing with your family. You have to focus on you all being well when this horrible episode passes from our lives. Will your DD be able to visut and stay with you even if you are working. At least you will have time at the end of the day and weekend and will add to the total time you have contact. I have a GS who lives 500 miles away and I know the feeling of wanting to bond with the baby. Children are adaptable and will bond with anyone showing them how much they are loved. Your day will come.

Yes, I feel for you too. The early months and years are so precious, they grow so fast. You are working and living at a distance, so no way out at present. I have cared for my first granddaughter two or three days a week since she was tiny (now just past second birthday). I kept away till last govt orders - which allow nannies but not grannies!! Where’s the logic of that? Quickly put on my nanny hat and now looking after dgd again 4-5 days a week so my daughter can get back to work. The reunion was just as wonderful as I imagined... and yours will be too.

are they isolating or having to go out and about? If the former and they are Covid free, could you join households and live with them and work from there for a while? I so feel your ache to be with them.. so sorry

I'm a first time gran and miss my granddaughter who is 15 months. They only live nearby but in these circumstances it doesn't help. We have video chats and I have seen her go from crawling to walking and it is just wonderful.
This morning I felt a helpful gran for the first time. DIL had to work on the phone and leave her with my son and she wanted her mum. I got a video call and was able to distract her with songs and a soft toy. I felt like a Play School actor but it did the trick. It meant so much to me. You will be building up your bond via video calls. My way of coping with the pandemic is not to look too much in to the future.
All the best granAnne and thank you for sharing, it helps to know we are not alone with this.
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We are all suffering through this lockdown and what we don’t need is others telling us just “put up with it, stiff upper lip”....it’s actually not constructive. It’s natural, providing you are not a robot, to miss the way everything was. I hate the way some people seem to almost look down on others who aren’t coping very well, obviously they are not very compassionate people. I am not coping well and certainly not ashamed to say it and feel my life is slipping away from me......and I wonder if and when I will be able to hug my children or grandchildren again, oh yes, it will pass, but maybe not in my lifetime!

granAnnie
Remember that it's ok not to feel ok sometimes. It is hard for everyone just now and we're all just doing our best through difficult times.

So sorry and I feel your pain. My own daughter is a few hundred miles away and I miss my little granddaughter too. Skype is great but it's not a cuddle. I've been very emotional seeing my daughter and granddaughter on Skype, I'm cheerful when I see them, but tearful after Skype. You're not alone and sound a very positive person. Keep strong, this will pass and then we can all be together again.
This is my first post on gransnet, nice to be part of the community.

Can I put this all into perspective please. Whilst I can understand everybody’s problems just be thankful for what you have got. My son has four children aged 9 6 4 and nearly 2. My daughter has 1 son nearly 5. But last year we lost her darling daughter aged 14months to bronchial pneumonia. Our son lives 15 miles away and our daughter lives 25 miles away so missing them all so much but none more so than the little girl who is in heaven with the angels.

I know exactly how you feel. Although they live a bit nearer I would love to just go and see them. But I also love cuddling them and playing with there toys with them.

Of course I blame Boris....simply because I can have workmen in my office but I can't see family. My littlest granddaughter might be back at school before I've even seen her.I mean they keep saying young children are low risk and so are teachers. Jeez it's funny when my daughter was at school she picked up so many viruses...etc. I think we got away with nits.

Lots of us are in this position, so you are not alone. In fact its awful and I miss my grand daughters lots. I guess this is something to look forward to and I'm pleased there so young they haven't got a clue what's going on, everyday is a play day. Video call helps. Take Carex

I have been sending my grandbabies (boy 4, girl 18 mths) a little something in the post occasionally. Last week for example I made a couple of aprons and ordered a Toy Story cupcake mix from Sainsburys with my shopping. Put it in an envelope, did postage online and drove (we are shielding) to local postbox, hopped out and posted it. My daughter then sent pics of them making the cakes. It helps me feel more connected somehow.

Dear grannieAnne things will get better. I am close to my 4 grandsons but realise that for them to remain safe I need to listen to the WHO. I feel that the government dont really care about the common person as their attitude is use common sense. I've seen one of my old work colleagues become dangerously ill and another die due to the virus, yes I worked as a qualified nurse for 40 years and retired last year. Due to health problems I have been advised not to return. By keeping to proper guidelines laid down by WHO I am at safe. Please miss your family knowing you are keeping them safe and yourself ready to see them with loads of hugs when it is properly safe. Much love xxx

That's lovely Tinydancer...that made me smile. I love seeing my granddaughter laugh, on a video chat she had her mop out and was cleaning the floor and then started cleaning the phone I was calling on with the sound of her infectious giggle it was hilarious.

Hi, I haven't seen my grandson since March either and I too have missed the milestones. He will be 1 year old on 3 June so no party with all the family.
I get lots of videos and photos of him but I am glad that he is safe.
Have to bond all over again.

I absolutely sympathise with you. This is just such a sad situation for everyone. I too have a little granddaughter. Ellie was born six months ago. We had just one month before so much worry started. My daughter developed a breast lump and they thought it was cancerous. She bravely had that dealt with and then her Multiple Sclerosis type autoimmune disease reared it's ugly head. She struggled daily to do the basics like do up the baby grow poppers etc as her hands were affected. By now she was suffering from post natal depression. I am the manager of a care home and would go in daily before work to get the baby dressed and do some chores for my daughter, but then this Covid-19 hit. She has been shielding ever since but struggling. Her husband is lovely but he is not a hands on dad and is also working very long hours from home, so is stuck in his office from 8 until around 6:30. I am desperate to support my daughter but so scared of taking the infection to them. We have totally respected lockdown rules but I have now gone to sit in their garden twice. It was so awful to not be able to hold my granddaughter or do anything to help Katie. She goes back to work in September but will work from home. Her entire maternity leave has been one concern after another. I will have to stop work so I can help her with child care but I am fearful that the recent easing of lockdown measures are sending us towards another peak. I feel so depressed about everything. Can't see my grandson either or my other three children. We are drip fed bad news constantly. No wonder we find it hard to see any future or a time when we can hold our loved ones again.

Welcome Carole53

granAnnie, firstly, congratulations on your little granddaughter.. My niece has had a baby girl overnight, and seeing the photos has brought it all back.

Please don’t be upset by some of the thoughtless comments on this thread. You feel what you feel, and as you rightly point out, nobody has the right to tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way.

I wonder if it would help if you put together a diarybox for the baby? A collection of little things between you and her - some to do with the virus, such as news clippings, and others just little thoughts between you - whatever suits your personality, but maybe a poem you come across, a photo of a sunset, or one of you at work - things that will help he to know who you were during this time. You could keep it until she is old enough to appreciate what will then be history. I love looking at old photos of my family, but how much better would it be to have a personalised view of life in 2020? This will be taught in History classes one day, so she could pass it down to her own children.

That way, you could keep the bond between you, and not miss out on the ‘getting to know you’ thing - just move it down the line a bit.

Just a thought, but it’s what I would do in the circumstances.

My only son (younger son died aged 12) lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two young sons, we are very close and visit them 2 or 3 times each year, my husband and I are in our 70s but both very healthy and fit with no underlying health conditions, I am petrified we may never be allowed to travel there again. We are considering emigrating there but not sure if that will be an option anymore. My husband is optimistic but I think he is unrealistic. It is so hard as we are all so close, my son and DIL FaceTime us daily but I need reassurance we will be able to visit them again! Obviously they will travel here but I need to know I can visit them. This is such a difficult time for older people.

Hi just wanted to share that I feel the same, I have 4 grandchildren and they all live 40 - 60 minutes drive away so havn't seen them over the lockdown. FaceTime is not the same. Just beginning to meet up, but for a walk and keeping a distance, so no hugs, so difficult. We are sticking to the rules, and I so resent people who don't. (The truth is I'm jealous but I understand that the rules are there for a reason and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to anyone!). It is hard, we will get through this. xxx

It's a awful time for us all missing my weekly babysitter/ school run day with DGD 's see Skype calls now and again .Visited their front garden once too upsetting for me and the oldest one she's heartbroken we can't hug etc don't know who cried more me or her ?.I did look after DGD1 constantly from newborn we are very close or were

GranAnnie - I am also in the NHS and a granny. You have my sympathy and empathy. It is such an emotional roller coaster wanting to see / hug family but also seeing very clearly from the ‘other side’ what is going on; the pragmatic head says be sensible while the emotional head is crying. We are all wobbling at times and it is good that we feel able to share on a site such as this - don’t beat yourself up, we are only human.....big hugs

Yogadatti, Doodledog
What lovely thoughtful posts. And moreover, helpful.

For you granAnnie and all those going through such difficult times my heart goes out to you. We each have our own story and sometimes its okay to fall apart. Its okay to not be okay.
One day, things will be good again. Just not quite yet.

You can use WhatsApp to video call amazing .You can also link up to 4 different numbers,and all see yourselves as well as hold conversations. All you need is your mobile phone .

Hi I feel for you. It is so hard. I’m lucky (sort of) as my daughter and family live less than 10 minutes away so I have seen her and my grandson at a distance. It must be some hard for you not even to visit for even a short time. I live in Wales and don’t know when things will be lifted. So fed up with the lockdown now but what can you do? I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Sometimes, it just helps to vent. Sending love and hugs ❤️ ?

Oh forgot to say .. you can keep and read the daily journal to her when your together again, and again when she’s old enough to know why you were apart.????.

Ch24 I am so sorry for your family's loss.... pray to your little angel granddaughter to keep the rest of your family safe

I can see this from all perspectives. granAnnie, I knew somebody who was living abroad when her baby was born, she had regular FaceTime or some such with her Mother in Scotland, boy did that little one know her Nana, she really knew her from regular chatting and seeing her on a phone or whatever. As for getting used to a different way of life when grandchildren move abroad, I can’t get used to it. I miss mine every day, though thankfully see them every other day on Facetime. I should have been with them for the last two weeks. Where they live are opening their airports next month, but will not allow visitors from the UK.