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missing grandchildren

(39 Posts)
joanna12 Wed 10-Jun-20 15:46:35

I have small grandchildren one age 2 and another 6 months,i have not seen them for 3 months because of the lockdown and we live in Wales so cannot travel more than 5 miles,they live thirty miles away.I am trying so hard but when I am out and I see other people with their grandchildren it hurts so much,i do facetime one a week but they are to small and I also worry they will forget us,i would never want to put then in any harm and I will follow the rules but somedays it just feels to much.I am late fifties with no health issues but I understand the reasoning yet I feel its just me that's missing out,selfish I know but hearing from others would help.thank you

Poppyred Wed 10-Jun-20 15:56:23

The whole point of these restrictions it to prevent spreading the virus. Travelling 30 miles and seeing your family at a safe distance in their garden is not going to pass on the virus. Use your common sense.

Hithere Wed 10-Jun-20 16:12:26

Cant you videochat?

AGAA4 Wed 10-Jun-20 16:58:07

Joanna12. I understand as I live in Wales too and we aren't allowed to drive for more than 5 miles.

My neighbour has been stopped by the police twice to ask where she is going. She was just going to work.

I miss my grandchildren too as they all live at least 60 miles away and in England. The youngest is just a year old.

joanna12 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:17:06

I have tried facetime,but the 2 year old isn't really interested just wants to play,and the baby is double her age since I last saw her.We wouldn't drive to them,just have to wait and see what happens with the new lockdown changes next week,but even then I don't know if my son would leave us visit to their garden as they are shielding,they have not left the house in 12 weeks.I know I am being selfish,but I am missing so much its just gone,i know its the same for everyone just wanted to know how you all are coping.thank you

granAnnie Wed 10-Jun-20 18:27:58

joanna I posted a couple of weeks ago as I am missing my baby granddaughter terribly. She was born in September last year. I was so lucky to see her in March before lockdown. They live in England and I live in Scotland (about a seven hour drive), so there are different rules. Like you, in Scotland, we are restricted to 5 miles. And, for me, I need to be able to 'stay' in England once I am able to go.
The missing is terrible. Boris just announced some major changes for England re single people being able to visit another house (but didn't include those in shielding category I don't think). I just wanted to say I hear and understand your pain. The different rules and phases in the different nations don't help.

mcem Wed 10-Jun-20 18:31:21

Well for GPs in England you are now able to form 'a bubble' and see your families. We in Scotland must wait a bit longer but that's a price worth paying to live under the jurisdiction of Holyrood and not Westminster.

granAnnie Wed 10-Jun-20 18:37:43

mcem I'd rather go with Holyrood any day!

Willow73 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:53:44

I know how you feel. I have 2 grandsons under 3 years old, can't have them over as they won't keep a distance. The house behind us have 4 children who are constantly in their garden and the noise of them is really upsetting. I end up inside the house in rooms where I can't hear them and its worse cause they are sociallising the parents and children and even had a party last weekend.

ninathenana Wed 10-Jun-20 19:01:19

I do sympathise but there are those who are lucky to see their GC once a year or so due to them living over seas.

joanna12 Wed 10-Jun-20 19:01:33

it hurts,we were out walking yesterday and I see grandparents with their grandchildren not distancing as I would and neighbours having their grandchildren in their homes and I have nothing,somedays I think I cant do this another day whats the point will I ever see them again,and I also have my parents who are late 70s who cant understand why they cant see their great grandchildren,i understand I just feel so down feeling sorry for myself I guess need to snap out of it.Even if they raise the five mile rule in Wales I don't know if my son and daughter inlaw will leave us garden visit for a while to protect the children,i know they are brilliant parents and I am being selfish but every now and then it gets to me now is a bad day.

Daisymae Wed 10-Jun-20 19:32:54

I think that there's a lot of people who can empathize with you. I was wondering today whether family bonds will be weakened in some instances but you are in touch and they are young. You can only carry on for the time being, but remember all this is not to protect the children but to protect you. Lockdown is easing so hopefully you will be able to meet up soon.

25Avalon Thu 11-Jun-20 09:19:51

I suppose you can’t travel because you are in Wales. In England you could do 30 miles and visit in the garden observing social distancing easy. I did this on Tuesday although only had 6 miles to travel. GD aged 31/2 kept social distancing and knew who I was but GS who is 9 months looked very scared when he saw me. No surprise really for very young ones as they won’t be used to socialising at all.

I am sure they will get to know us when restrictions lift. If they were in Australia many months could pass without seeing them in the flesh.

25Avalon Thu 11-Jun-20 09:24:39

Joanna2 when I visited I entered via the open garage door and door into garden and used hand sanitizer my DD had put out, sat on a sanitised plastic chair and kept my distance. We have self isolated so no risk to GC. I am sure when that 5 mile limit is lifted and surely it won’t be long now you will be able to do the same.

Mimmy Thu 11-Jun-20 09:24:50

I sympathise deeply. The guidelines are very confusing. One person can now go and live with their family/grandchildren ... this correlates with the governments’ need to get the economy back on track - I don’t believe there is enough science to know whether this is safe or not. Travelling and seeing families but social distancing is I believe still the safest way to continue. Not much change for many. However there are others who are willing to take the risk. Take care.

MrsChips Thu 11-Jun-20 09:33:37

I always feel bad that we can’t visit our grandsons aged 3 and nearly 2 whereas their other GPs only live 5 mins away so have been popping up to chat over the garden wall. I talked about it yesterday with my very wise DH who said that people we see all the time become boring whereas people we haven’t seen for a long time become special.

annifrance Thu 11-Jun-20 09:48:48

See my post on previous thred. Nuff said. Really getting cross now.

Thecatshatontgemat Thu 11-Jun-20 10:05:46

Of course they are going to forget you, they are very young!
But think of the huge amount of fun you can have getting to know them once again, with hopefully no restrictions to get in the way.
Look forward, not back.
As previously stated by MrsChips, you will be new and a lot more interesting.....
Try and accept your specialness - to-come adventure.

Caro57 Thu 11-Jun-20 10:15:20

I live in rural Cumbria - we have to travel more than 5 miles to our nearest shop.........there must be the same conditions in Wales - how does that work?

Poppyred Thu 11-Jun-20 10:57:19

Exactly Caro57! We live in Wales and our nearest (affordable) supermarket is 14 miles away. So a 28 mile round trip! I’m a key worker and work is a 40 mile round trip. Our young family live between work and home but more than 5 miles, so yes we have met up with them in their garden, at a safe distance on more than one occasion. Please don’t come on here moaning if you’re not prepared to use some common sense! 🙄

Juicylucy Thu 11-Jun-20 11:12:19

Sorry to hear your pain. Just small suggestion my beloved GC lived in Australia for most of there childhood returning last year.Lucky me. When they were small I used to read them a book I would buy 2 of the same book and send one to them, then FaceTime them and I’d read the book to them whilst they had there book and could see the pictures, it kept them interested and focused whilst I loved it.

Calendargirl Thu 11-Jun-20 11:17:04


The ‘bubble’ is only for single people living on their own, enabling them to meet up with another household. It’s not carte blanch for GP’s to meet up with family.

ShazzaKanazza Thu 11-Jun-20 11:28:58

Hi I’m new on here.
It was torture for us not being able to see our five year old grandson because he’s autistic and just didn’t understand. We couldn’t video chat because he would gather his shoes and blanket thinking he was coming and would get so upset when we said he couldn’t. We couldn’t go and talk through the window either. We look after him a lot and it broke our heart he couldn’t understand. I would video myself reading him stories and would send them on watsap. My daughter and 18 month granddaughter moved in With us just before the lockdown so we could look after her while she went to work and I’d get upset hearing her having fun on video chat with her other grandparents knowing we couldn’t do that with grandson. I really feel for grandparents missing their little darlings it is a love like no other.

janipans Thu 11-Jun-20 11:37:18

Don't worry! Your grandchildren are 2 and 6 months. Can you remember anything of your life at those ages? - I can't! My earliest memory is from when I was 4 and surely they will find a vaccine by then! Do you also remember the joy of a letter or parcel coming through the post addressed not to your parents but to you? I send little letters and parcels to my grandchildren and they love it. The Toy Story cake mix I sent was a particular success and keeps them thinking about you (until the cakes were ready to eat of course!)

Buzzkaue Thu 11-Jun-20 11:44:31

I am the same as you ,had not seen my grand kids for 14 weeks ,we went in the week to see my 19 month twins,
they didn't remember me.
we sat on the grass away from. them ,
1 of my grand daughters them ran over ,we and them have been isolating , not going out or seeing anyone ,she ran to me ran round means cuddled me on the chest ,it was like southing clicked ,my 5 month grand daughter dont know us at all ,we have not seen them for 3 months ,I was there at her birth, but for a baby 3 months is a long time , we will have to build the bond again.