I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

My adult daughters and my grandchildren are great but it wouldn't occur to me to want to have them stay overnight on their own unless there was an emergency or the parents particularly asked me to. I just don't get it why grandparents want or expect this.

I've brought up children now it's time to enjoy my grandchildren, often but in small doses. If I babysit, I go to theirs. It doesn't bother me if they adults want to stay out late as I'm happy to just drive home and, if they come back somewhat 'inebriated', tough on them if their kids wake up early the next morning! I shall enjoy the lie in.

Nope, you're not being unreasonable in the least. In your shoes, I wouldn't be leaving my baby either. As for the dog.... I wouldn't be visiting myself, let alone leave a baby.

Chewbacca

Nope, you're not being unreasonable in the least. In your shoes, I wouldn't be leaving my baby either. As for the dog.... I wouldn't be visiting myself, let alone leave a baby.

Same advice from me.

Not yet, especially as they have been out of contact due to COVID for 4 months. And with an aggressive dog? No.

They need to take it slowly. And put the dog in the kennels for the night.

You absolutely should not buckle in to this. Your baby barely knows his grandparents, his grandparents barely know him. It’s sad that Covid19 has brought this about for many grandparents and very young grandchildren who can’t be expected to remember people they haven’t seen for months, but it is what it is. Luckily for us, our grandchildren all remember us well, even the two year old, but that is because we had such a lot to do with them before Covid19 and because they’re older. We also saw them via FaceTime and over the wall short visits throughout the crisis. We made up stories and read them and sent the videos to them to keep in touch. I also baked goodies for them and grandad made a variety of garden planters for them to look after. But your child is a baby and these things couldn’t or weren’t done. Only allow your baby to stay overnight when you are sure he’s familiar with his grandparents and when the dog situation is sorted to your satisfaction. To be honest I think a one year old baby is too young to stay overnight away from his parents unless it is an emergency.

When I say slowly perhaps when your DS is about 3 or 4?and only if he is happy to stay.
And the dog is not there.

Agree with Callistemon.

I wouldn't even want to visit myself with a dog like that in the house.

Perhaps you could be conciliatory and invite them over to your house for an hour and a so that they can re-establish their relationship with their DGS.
As long as they leave the dog at home.

As the baby grows and becomes a toddler, the dog is going to become an ever bigger problem. At the moment, the baby stays where he's put but once he's mobile, that's going to be very difficult and I'd be very cautious about taking him where the dog is.

I haven’t read any other replies, so sorry if repeating. I’d decided ‘ no’, from your third line, just leaving him overnight. Once I got to the dog...and then your MIL taking it personally.....forget it. He is the most precious thing in your life, there’s absolutely no need for overnight stays at his age. If anything happens to him, to most people it’ll just be something horrible that happened, and will become a distant memory, but you’ll live with it forever. Don’t do it.

I am at a loss to fathom the reason some grandparents crave overnight stays. For little people to wake up in the night in a bed that's not their own and neither Mummy nor Daddy present could be quite upsetting. Be patient and wait until little four, five, six year old asks to stay then it becomes a joyful, exciting adventure.
Lesim91 your baby, your call. I think the baby is far too young and I'd certainly be wary of the dog.

"I'm at a loss to fathom the reason some grandparents crave overnight stays" playing mummy again vicariously. Seemingly having been a parent once, is not enough for some, must do it all over again with grandchild/ren, even if the actual parents don't want that

"One step back" has always been my motto. We have had the grandchildren overnight when they were very young, as requested by their parents, but what's so great about having little ones wander into your bedroom at stupid o'clock, often still dark, with a "time to get up nana/grandad"

Much as I love my one year old grandson I wouldn't want him to stay for his own sake. They need their parents at that age and this sounds as though your MiL is only thinking of herself not the baby.

I wouldn't take him at all while there is a vicious dog in the house.

No, nothing unreasonable about your decision.

No way; he is not a toy, nor a pet to be loaned out. If she persists, and if/when you feel ready, say about two years down the line, agree, but you stay as well.

No, you are not being unreasonable. A one year old is very little to be leaving with anyone overnight.

I waited until the grandchildren asked to come for a sleepover. DGD was about 2 1/2 before she wanted to stay.

We had a little terrier. She was the loveliest, most gentle little dog but I didn't trust her around the babies. Whenever they visited I put the dog into the kitchen and there she stayed until they left. The DGC were introduced to her gradually.

You have to think of the happiness and safety of your son. It comes before the wants of a grown woman who should understand your reluctance.

I think you should just say you don't want him to stay.
Irrespective of the wretched dog!

We just said no. It was tough. We said "no, thank you for the offer. We will bear it in mind for when they are bigger"

And just kept repeating it. We said we felt they weren't ready. They can argue with how you feel.
They will argue with anything rational if you try to have reasons!

I think this is a big lesson in that feelings are 100% impossible to argue with. They are yours and no one can deny them... they might say they make no sense but, hey, this is just how you feel.

Good luck.

What’s an LO Lost Oranges?

LO - Little One

Lovely to see a unanimous response.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond!

We're going to stick to our guns with the overnight thing. We give them plenty of opportunities to see him- we've seen them most weekends since the restrictions eased.

We're also going to be politely request that the dog is kept upstairs on our next visit, otherwise all visiting will have to take place at our house!

Thanks for your responses, she always makes me doubt myself xx

You sound lovely and very accommodating. I suggest you read some of the estrangement threads and you’ll see some real horrors of MIL’s. Get yourself prepared!?

Toadinthehole thank you, I've had my fair share of horror stories related to my MIL but I've always tried to keep things civil as the rest of my in-laws are lovely and I wouldn't want my husband or my son to miss out on seeing them x