Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Boasting

(123 Posts)
Alexa Mon 27-Jul-20 12:14:37

A woman neighbour who rang me about a friendly but impersonal business matter described in detail a lovely holiday place she owns, although I had not asked her to tell me about it, and it had nothing to do with the business matter. I think this is bragging. Why would anyone brag to me? I don't brag about material possessions and I own very little, so why would she do this?

I am disappointed in her as I'd always thought she had really good manners.

Alexa Tue 28-Jul-20 11:50:41

Jenpax, I was reared with that principle too. I do hope if there is a trend for boasting it is not a sign decent people don't bother about manners any more.

H1954 Tue 28-Jul-20 12:06:53

Personally, I have no time for people that brag and boast about their wealth, property, qualification, fabulous family, amazing car, second home..............!

My old Dad used to say " hark at 'em, they might have a gold plated toilet but their s**t smells as bad as anyone else's"!

We all came into the world with nothing and we will leave in the same way.

GagaJo Tue 28-Jul-20 12:10:15

Naninka

Varian... my brother sends a pic of himself and his family from their skiing chalet each Christmas. Would it be rude to send a pic back of me snorting white powder whilst being seen to from behind by an exotic male dancer?

You should! He's proud of his chalet. You're proud of your exciting life.

Shalene777 Tue 28-Jul-20 12:10:55

Maybe when she mentioned it if you had said something along the lines of sounds lovely etc. She may have invited you. Maybe even though she is loaded and married she maybe very lonely and looking for a friend to spend time with.....or she may have been bragging without realising what she is doing.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 28-Jul-20 12:31:41

I would have listened like any other conversation, it might have been a bit random, but I would have felt pleased for her, to be honest it just goes over the top of my head if someone is boasting , I just smile to myself

newnanny Tue 28-Jul-20 13:08:00

In one ear, out the other, smile and nod. That must be lovely for you.

MerylStreep Tue 28-Jul-20 13:17:08

I don't think I'll be mentioning any exotic holidays, second home, etc etc on GN in future ?

GillT57 Tue 28-Jul-20 13:32:40

Why can't we just be pleased for those who have something that brings pleasure into their lives, instead of all the negativity and resentment? crikey, yes. Where do we draw the line? Not mention cutting the lawn in case someone lives in a poky flat? I agree that some people brag, but really that says more about them than about the listener, why can't people just be happy for someone's excitement or happiness that they are sharing? Lighten up

suttonJ Tue 28-Jul-20 13:35:18

Come on, ladies. Don't we all KNOW that our own grandchildren are far superior to everyone else's!

GreenGran78 Tue 28-Jul-20 13:58:19

But my superior grandchildren are for more superior than your superior grandchildren, SuttonJ. ?

Hilarybee Tue 28-Jul-20 14:31:18

Some people are very open about what they have, what they do or what their children have achieved. Others let you know also but in a more subtle way by just dropping a snippet into a conversation. I much prefer it when people are upfront about their possessions/achievements/children etc because then you can acknowledge it straight away and then move on

Callistemon Tue 28-Jul-20 14:35:06

MerylStreep

I don't think I'll be mentioning any exotic holidays, second home, etc etc on GN in future ?

grin
I only go to Argate (at the moment)

honeyrose Tue 28-Jul-20 14:51:17

Hi Alexa. Maybe this lady was just trying to make conversation? I would let it go in one ear and out the other as one respondent suggested. It is also possible that this lady was trying to advertise it though - my late mother often used to think of such situations as slight ulterior motives but I would have dismissed this vehemently to my mother. Now i’m a bit older, and i’m a little less naive, I sometimes find that people will mention things in a way that may come across as subtle, but they’re really trying to make you aware of something. I wouldn’t let it bother you though, Alexa. Let it wash over you if you can.

Peardrop50 Tue 28-Jul-20 14:55:20

Good lord. I’ve just asked our butler if he resents my telling him about the new holiday mansion, his reply ‘No Madam, not at all, it’s just nice to see a smile on your miserable face’

Callistemon Tue 28-Jul-20 14:58:42

She was possibly just waiting for you to ask if she lets it out and for how much.

songstress60 Tue 28-Jul-20 15:47:09

In these harsh economic times people should keep quiet if they are living a very prosperous life as it is just rubbing it in for other people who may be unemployed, lost their home, or furloughed. I would have been very annoyed. When I was unemployed my sister once told me about her new car, and that she had gone on 5 holidays that year!! Grossly insensitive. Yes she was just boasting and I bet you couldn't get away fast enough! If you are having a rough time it is impossible to rejoice in other's good fortune

V3ra Tue 28-Jul-20 16:07:42

I've had the opposite: someone with far more money than I could ever imagine talking themselves down in conversation with me.
That can seem a bit patronising.

MissAdventure Tue 28-Jul-20 16:12:29

Nobody likes a show off.
There is nothing more boring than listening to other peoples boasting when you couldn't care less anyway.

MissAdventure Tue 28-Jul-20 16:17:24

Just want to add, it's different to someone just talking naturally about their life, or possessions, or grandchildren.

Delila Tue 28-Jul-20 16:26:01

I don't think she was necessarily boasting, and if she was, it's not such a sin. Maybe she thought that by telling you something pleasurable about her life you might get to know more about each other and become friends. She might have been looking for a way to engage you in more than just impersonal business conversation.

Grammaretto Tue 28-Jul-20 16:34:43

I wondered too whether this neighbour was just trying to make conversation? If she owns the place then maybe she could offer it to you, free, for a holiday? You could always ask.....grin
I think we should start writing our round robins now ready for Christmas varian
Do you remember the late Simon Hoggart who had a column in the Guardian?. Readers sent him their ott Xmas letters and he eventually wrote books based on them.
Chapter headings included: DIY holidays, children and jobs.
They were very funny. One of his books was titled "The cat that could open the fridge" and "the hamster that loved puccini"

Trewdie Tue 28-Jul-20 16:36:16

Some people just brag they don't need a reason

Dinahmo Tue 28-Jul-20 16:53:10

Grammaretto I remember them very well. i liked the ones from parents boasting about their childrens' skills and achievements.

elleks Tue 28-Jul-20 17:07:03

Twice, actually, complete strangers at a holiday resort approached me and out of the blue informed me of something glamorous and expensive they were doing.
They weren't holiday reps trying to sell you the experience, were they?

Sunflower54 Tue 28-Jul-20 17:15:51

When I stop and think about it, people do this all the time. It's called conversation. I am sure you have things in your life you are proud of.
With me, and many others here I'm sure, it's my grandchildren.
I enjoy hearing about nice things other people have. Happy, content people don't get jealous.... We are too busy enjoying what we have, however humble.